Trying to diagnois our five year old

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Trying to diagnois our five year old
Sun, 08-10-2003 - 11:05pm
I just found your site this evening, and I find it very supportive and informative.

I have a five year old son who has more signs (actually all) of ODD than ADHD. We have lost two nanny's because of his behavior. He doesn't listen to me or my husband, or anyone who is around him on a daily basis who has to care for him.

I work from home, so I am in the house with my son and the nanny, and I hear the fighting going on all the time. Most of the time I have no other choice but to jump in. From there the problem just escalates. Then when the nanny leaves, during the time I can't wait to be with just him, he makes it miserable.

My poor nanny wants to plan trips out of the house with him, but most of the time he acts out of control and she either can't leave the house, or when they actually get to the activity, he is so bad she has to leave. He even made our trip to Disney World one big fight for five days!

We have tried all types of punishments, we have been consistent, we tried putting him on rigid schedules, and even "just let it flow" type of schedules. Nothing works. It's always a fight. I'm exhausted.

His preschool teacher tells me he is a smart, well behaved child in school. When I ask him why he behaves at school he tells me it is because "he doesn't know how the teacher will punish him". He starts full day kindergarden this year, so maybe his new teacher will see a different behavior then his part-time/3 day a week teacher did.

We just started seeing a child psychologist last week. I hope that she can provide us with some parenting skills to help us with these problems.

He has also been pooping his pants. Not a full blown out poop, but he doesn't want to take the time to go to the bathroom. When I ask him why he does it he says he didn't know it was coming. So he blantly lies to me about it.

If anyone has any advice to give me, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 12:02am
No advice, except on the poop issue.

I don't have first hand experience, but there was a big discussion about this on the 6&7 year old board a month or so ago.

Sometimes this comes as a result of constipation. And there were some moms that said their child went every day, so they never imagined that they could be constipated. But anyways, the colon becomes so stretched out, that some of the stool leaks around the mass, and that might be what you're seeing in his pants. And they don't feel it coming, so that might be the truth.

Might be worth a doctor's visit or some research. There is a board here on PS about Elimination Problems.

There is also an ODD board, and you might find some useful things on their Resource Site. It's nicely done.

Good luck!



PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 9:54am
Welcome to our board. I think that you need to see about having him tested at least with your therapist. Most school districts do it for free and it can be started before school is in session. some districts have an Early Intervention Program and are able to do it this way. I hope that this will help. Otherwise contact your pediatrician and see what they can do to help.

Either way, testing him for ODD and ADD/ADHD is a key. In order for him to be successful in school and not be labeled the "trouble maker" is a must in my mind. The sooner you do this, the sooner all involved and get DS on the right path and this includes the correct behaviour modification that goes with the issues you are facing. Some will work, some will need to ask the therapist for help in this area.

Good luck. I hope to see more posts on our board.