When are the schools going to get it????

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2003
When are the schools going to get it????
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 4:59pm
I've been reading many of the posts, & keep reading how poorly the schools deal with our children!!

That is why I finally pulled my son out of school, & homeschool him. But, I know not everyone can do that, & why won't schools learn to deal with this??

Back when my son was in school, & they had what was called ESE awarness week, I had his ESE teacher give the teachers some info about ADHD. I had photocopied something from a book, written by a mother, addressed to the teacher. It pointed out so well, all the symptoms, needs, characteristics, etc. of the ADHD child & little things the teacher could do to help the ADHD child. It was so well written!!

The response from the teachers was total disinterest!!! Most teachers don't like even having to deal with the ESE teacher. I think all teachers should take a course on ADHD & learning disabilties, etc. They need to start learning these things, instead of taking it out on our children!

Sometimes all that is needed for these kids is understanding from the teacher, & redirection. If teachers would do that a lot of things could be avoided!

Maybe if we all started showing up to school with our lawyers, (as I have known some to do,& got great results!)we could get our message across!!

Sorry, but I just needed to vent!! I feel so bad for these children who get punished for things that could have really been avoided, if only the teacher had been understanding!

Avatar for kathy_in_ga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 7:43pm
I know some teachers who should not be teacher. My sons 1st teacher this year is one of them. Luckily, he was moved into a class who's teacher also had a son who had sensory problems. My sister, who just became a teacher, and a mom who also had a daughter they have struggled with is a very good understanding teacher. Mostly because of her experience with her daughter. I think every teacher graduate should also do some "time" in the special ed rooms to see that these kids are very special, loving, and deserve more than some are willing to give them. Even though some ADHD kids don't get special ed services, a lot do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 11:00am
On the positive side. I have to say that, within the constraints of public school, my son's school is doing a very good job at helping him. Especially his teacher this year in first grade. She is a young teacher who happens to be studying to be a guidance counselor. She seems great so far.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 5:42pm
I see your vent and raise you a rant. LOL Seriously - it is a shame that teachers are not taught better how to deal with behavior disorders, learning disabilities, etc. In Illinois, that is a ONE semester class - all rolled into one - LD, BD and SP.Ed. It's assinine. It's no where near the experience one needs and they also do need more classroom experience.

But you have to be fair and think of the flip side. There are a lot of teachers in this world who are phenomenal. There are a lot who got into teaching cuz "the kindergartners are soooo cuuuutttteee" (personal gag) and there's some who genuinely want to teach EVERY child and do it 'cuz they love it. The fact remains, not every teacher is going to be great with our kids. It's personality, personal inability to deal, lack of education... It's part of your child's "life education" to learn how to get by with some of those who don't like you. That's a life long issue.

Let me ask you...how many pediatricians have you gone through, changed, etc? How many snarky comments have you heard in the grocery store about your child's behavior? What about those relatives and THEIR comments and poor treatment. I do agree that teachers need more education with these kids but they are human. Not everyone gets it. In fact I'd say very few get it. And you meet a lot of people who are very judgemental on that first encounter, never bothering to see the real person underneath anything that's going on on the surface. That's something these kids need to learn at a young age how to deal with.

So if you're going to get frustrated with the poor teachers (and they are out there) try and change it. Ask for a one on one meeting with the teacher and ASK if they've any experience with ADHD or behavior problems. Ask if they are comfortable with your child or if they frustrate that teacher. Approach the teacher with, "I want to help you work with my child more effectively. I notice the two of you aren't clicking. This is what works at home. Maybe we could implement that in the classroom somehow?" You're part of a team with that teacher in your child's eduation. Be proactive. Be an active (in their face if you have to!) part of it. And keep a sense of humor - that's key to getting along with the teacher who is difficult. If you can laugh at the goofy things your kid has done, they will learn to. If you encounter a teacher who feels every child fills a little box or a slot, you're going to have a rough year. But let your child know YOU are a partner in his or her education and you'll be there to help them over the rough year.

Not every year is guaranteed a good teacher. It's up to us sometimes to help our child just get through the occasional year. I've done it twice. Shrug. It happens. You didn't love every one of your elementary teachers in school. It's the same principle.

And for the really bad teachers? It's up to us to make sure that no damage is done to our children and fight the school hard. Chances are the school is more than aware of the issue and has dealt with it before. Keep pushing until you're satisfied.

Bottom line, we have to be part of it. Working within the system is often more effective than bucking it the whole way.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 7:30pm
I must be blessed so far... So far for K,1, & 2, my son has had wonderful teachers and a wonderful school psych and guidance program as well. The price I do have to pay is that he is in "the largest K-8 in the state!" no kidding they have 1200 kids in grades k-8 all in 1 school. Granted they are wonderful at keeping the school divided internally but it is huge. The upside is there are 6 teachers per grade so if we have a problem with a teacher I have 5 more to choose from!! And I am allowed to be part of the team that chooses his teacher for the next year, not that I know one from the other BUT his issues are considered on his placement for a techer that would best suit his needs not random placement. I hope I don't regret saying this next year as I'm sure one year it won't go that great but up unitl now I've been lucky! They call in the OT for ideas even though he doesn't "see her" on a regular basis, and when he was upset/nervous about his school play he asked to talk to his guidance teacher about his feelings and she saw him that day and talked to the music teacher and they found him a role that would not put him in the front line but more behind the scences!

I only wish the rest of you get the best of luck with your kids as well, I do know how lucky I am to have cooperative teachers an staff, and I AM thankful!

Hugs to you all!! ~Jenell

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-24-2003 - 1:01pm
I agree that all teachers should have a basic education in dealing with kids with ADHD.