When did you first know something was up

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2004
When did you first know something was up
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 8:50am

Hello there....my DS just turned two and I strongly feel that there is something up. I am an Early Childhood Educator and have worked with tons of children and I know his behaviour is not the normal 2 year old terrible two's. DS was adopted at 10 weeks and we also know his older sister has been diagnosed with ADHD. When the you compare the two of them they are two peas in a pod. I have mentioned it to family members and the doctor and everyone just tells me to relax, he is a boy and he is two. I really hope they are right but deep down inside I can not stop thinking about the fact he has so

Avatar for kenyadee
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 9:35am

I had no idea until DS was in kindergarden. His reading teacher was concerned he was not picking up reading quickly enough. I (rightly) argued that many kids are not ready to read in kindergarden. But in 1st and 2nd, he began to have issues paying attention.

But my son was never the hyper, running around kid. With the exception of a spell during age 4, after a traumatic time, he was not especially defiant, until the past year or two.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 1:42am

I would say I knew something was different about my son around 3 1/2. At that age it was like someone flipped a switch and he could not

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 4:20pm
I knew at 3 and he started meds at 5 1/2 which was a life-saver



Avatar for ralenth
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 3:49pm

I didn't read all the responses, but I knew from around the age of 2, that there was something different about my son. My pediatrician's consistently blew me off, saying that he was a "busy boy" or that we wouldn't want to medicate him now (no, I didn't, but I did want to find something to help him now!).

I will say one thing I wish I had started earlier for him was Occupational Therapy. It has been great for him - and I'd recommend getting him evaluated by an OT. They may be able to help! My DS also has sensory issues, and OT has helped him learn to control his body.

Something else, totally not therapy, that has helped him (ALOT) is karate. He goes to an amazing dojo, that stresses a whole life approach. He's been doing karate for a year now, and the difference is amazing - if I had known, it is also something I would have started probably around 3. When he started a year ago, he could not do the "focus checks" that they do. He'd last about a second (and they were wonderful about finding that one second he was still, and praising him). Now? He can hold his focus as well as any other kid out there. AMAZING. He sat through a 2-3 hour black belt ceremony two months ago, that was at his worst time of night. Again, amazing (from my point of view, anyway).


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2008
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 2:43pm

I knew deep down at two that something wasn't right with our son. Other moms would complain about their "active" boys and when I'd see them in action, it was like they were on sedatives compared to our son. He was climbing on to the kitchen counter when I'd use the bathroom at two. Nothing made him tire out. Extremely defiant. When he was three, he started preschool and that's when teachers started saying his behavior was out of the norm and we pursued medical help at that point.

I can't offer any survival tips, other than just hanging in there another year or so until you can get the medical professionals to listen. They won't at two, but may at three if you fight for it. We got tips from a child psychologist and behavioral therapist at three, although nothing worked until our son started medication at four. Then everything clicked.

Good luck,

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 2:23pm
My oldest DS is ADHD, more on the attention side.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 12:14pm

I knew when my son was two. We were at a pumpkin farm with lots of other families in a group. I was pregnant, and I ran/walked 4 times more than any other mom, just trying to keep up with my son! My daughter on the other hand, stayed with the group.

I also have lots of experience in early childhood education, but that one trip just cemented in my mind that my son was different. I didn't know exactly how different - that came in stages. My son has fine motor issues which effect speech, writing and vision. He gets speech therapy and occupational therapy at the school, and we are just finishing vision therapy.

Yes, they will not diagnose now, but do be prepared to stick up for what you see he needs. Having him do preschool in a school that allows for lots of movement and hands on will help keep him engaged in learning. Or, better yet, if you can, keep him home and have him learn with you so that he never gets a negative attitude about learning.

You can get a pediatric developmental assessment - my son had one at almost three - it was normal other than speech. He had another at 4.5, they told me to read up on autism - but didn't say that he was autistic. The assessment we had last winter (so I would know how to teach him best) said ADHD. Who knows what they may say when he is 12!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 10:23am

I don't know whether I saw ADHD symptoms (they were more in line with Aspergers, which DS has NOT been dx with), but I started noticing that my DS was *different* when he was about 10 months old.

What works with all ADHD kids is to have a highly structured environment and schedule, and to have extreme consistency WRT discipline/consequences. It seems to have a calming effect for them to be able to predict their day and their boundaries.

Also, if you can keep from showing anger or stress (which is hard to do when your child is "not listening" or pushing your buttons), then it will make anything you do WRT behaviour management 100x more effective.

A calm and *predictable* environment is what I think can make all the difference when raising a child who has ADHD (which I had to learn the hard way, of course LOL).