Why is this so hard?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
Why is this so hard?
3
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 7:50pm
Hi, I really need some help and advice. I have been posting more often lately with different issues. Today my 6.5 year old ds went to a birthday party of an 8 year old neighbor. This neighbor has literally played with my son ay my house all winter and spring until supper time. I had to work today, so my husband walked him over to the party. Within 20 minutes he was home and basicaly had the biggest meltdown in a long time. He was hyperventilating and all. He would not tell us what happened. My issue is what did happen and where was the adult supervision. The party was outside with no planned activities and my son said no adults were outside. I realize that my DS JUST TURNED 6.5 and his friend is 8 but whatever happened must have been somewhat disruptive . I just think of basically taking care of this 8 year old all of this time while his Mom was working. His grandfather watches him after school. I just think the least the familt could have done was offer my son a little support. If not during the party, then call me after. He did not get to have cake or aparty favor or whatever. Am I asking too much? I just wonder if I am making a big deal out of this with my ADHD child. Will it ever ge t better socially for him? I think I will cry now. Am I losing it or what? HELP!!!
Avatar for keke0116
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 7:10am
You need to find out what happened ... but no, you aren't asking to much. ADHD or not, he was a guest in their home, and it is up to the parents (and the child) to make all guests feel welcome. The fact that the other boy has played at your house a lot may not have 'helped' in this situation as far as the kids go because if there was a lot of children, the b'day boy probably was not in a position to have played one-on-one with your DS, and perhaps that upset him. ??? But, until you know what happened, it's sort of hard to address.

What bothers me is did the family even realize your son had left the party? Did he leave by himself and just come home? The least the parents could have done is to come over with some cake and a party favor afterward, and talked to you about whatever happened. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes the smallest thing to set our kids off, and in hind-sight, it may have been quite inconsequential. BUT, it was big to him, and for that, it needs to be addressed.

(((HUGS))) to you both. (This will get easier!)

Nancy

Nancy 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 4:02pm
Hi and thanks for your reply. I did call the Mom this morning and she said she did not know what happened. She asked her son who said he did not know either. Y ou are right, it could have been the smallest thing that set him off. I got no apology or explanation. I guess it takes all kinds. I will ask my son about it again then let it go. Tune in for the next episode!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
Sun, 06-15-2003 - 5:51pm
Update!! My DS was invited over to the birthday boys house this afternoon to do acraft he missed and got a bag full of candy from the pinata. ? spelling We all feel better now!!