Why won't they listen to me

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2005
Why won't they listen to me
Thu, 09-17-2009 - 10:01pm


So DS is 6 and just started grade 1. He has been through all the testing and is ADHD combined...no LDs, no comorbids, but did test in the gifted range (but nothing is done about that until grade 4).

He is on meds. We are just upping our dose of biphentin to 25mg from 20mg. We tried concerta 18mg and didn't see any change. When we went to 27mg he was extremely agitated and out of control. Biphentin tends to not spark emotional outbursts.

Here's my problem.....

I have been working soooo hard with the school giving them suggestions, telling them what works at home, etc. They listen to absolutely nothing. They are trying to get DS to conform like "normal" kids and they don't get that that isn't going to happen.

My pediatrician is livid and will fight the school on my behalf until they start working with DS. At least the ped is on my side.

What do you do when the school won't listen and just goes out of their way to agitate your son (short of moving away).

Any ideas/advice is welcome.

PS...DS has an IEP and it's current. They just don't seem to get it.

Tracy....still smiling  :o)

Edited 9/17/2009 10:02 pm ET by lovin_my_kids
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 09-17-2009 - 11:45pm

HI, it is frustrating isn't it?

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 7:31am

Where do you live? If you live in Canada, you might be out of luck unless you're willing to do the necessary legwork: http://specialeducationlawblog.blogspot.com/2007/08/ontario-canada-comparative-special.html

If you live in the States, you'll have to start with making polite requests to meet with people in charge. Start with the principal first; if that doesn't work, get in touch with the special education director for your school district. If that doesn't work, keep working your way up to the superintendent. If not one of those work, it's on to a due process hearing.

Please remember, though, if it comes down to a lawsuit and his IEP is current, you can only sue the teachers who aren't implementing the modifications and recommendations on the IEP (I just had this conversation with my principal as we're talking about making sure interventions are in place for both our SPED students, ESOL students and students with 504 plans).

Check out wrightslaw.com for more extensive details.

  "Aut dosce, aut disce, aut discede"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 9:09am

Have you talked to the principal? Have you talked to the head of special education for your district (OK, I'm assuming there's someone like that in the Canadian system!). Is the IEP VERY specific in the "do NOT do X", "do Y" sense? Or wishy-washy working like "will make modifications for"?

I know nothing about what legal powers you have in Canada, though I'd say you're better off making sure you use the other routes first--aka, try to get someone up the teachers' chain of command to tell them they have to. And document everything along the way...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2005
Fri, 09-18-2009 - 9:31am

Thanks for your responses.

I met with the principal, vice principal, special ed resource teacher (SERT), classroom teacher and educations assistants for the class - all at once - on Monday.

It would appear everything went in one ear and out the other.

My pediatrician told the school to call him ASAP and he said he would fight for DS on my behalf to make things work.

I can't figure out what they are trying to accomplish.

In Canada there are a lot of steps we can go through. I am trying to handle it at the school level to start. If I can't get anywhere then I can move up to the board level for the region and I'll keep going until I hit the provincial level if I have to.

My DS is not the first ADHD kid at the school and he won't be the last. This all shouldn't be news to them....really.

Tracy....still smiling