Yet another new member

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2009
Yet another new member
16
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 8:25pm

I have thankfully found my way here.

My wife and I have a fantastic little 7-yr-old son with whom we are just now beginning our journey through dealing with ADHD. I have ready many posts already, describing symptoms and possible treatments and "the process".

We have a great little guy who is very, very smart. He's in 2nd grade now and his teachers have told us that he is border-line genius in math for his age group. I've heard that this is actually semi-common for ADHD kids, true? In subjects other than math he can range from excelling to "just getting by" depending on the day. His writing is very sloppy and nearly unreadable unless we are able to slow him down and focus. Same with his reading. When he slows down, he's great but you can tell when he starts ramping back up again, he looks at the first couple of letters an then guesses at the rest of the word. His current teacher has told us it is actually quite remarkable that he is able to do as well as he does despite his inability to sit still and focus for more than a few minutes. Her experience has been that students with ADHD do far, far worse than our A.J.. He is also exceptionally gifted in athletics and is much more advanced than his peers in any sport/activity he tries. All of these things have caused us to wonder if, maybe he isn't just bored and in need of something more challenging in order to keep his interest. I think there are just too many other things we see, however, for it to be that simple.

The big fear we have is....are we going to be somewhat forced into medicating our lil man simply because that's the only thing that will really work.

I was a child of Ritalin back in the mid 70s when I too was in 2nd grade. Problem was, I kept throwing the pill behind my bed and my behavior never changed. They'd up the dose, I kept throwing it behind my bed. Eventually my mom just gave up on the meds.

Bottom line, I guess, is that we are scared to death of having to medicate our child if it comes down to it. I'd love to get some responses from those of you who could ease my mind about the meds that are out there.

Thanks

-Ron

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Fri, 12-11-2009 - 5:36pm
You are right - I forgot to bring up Spectrum - probably the doc observed "its not as bad as some patients I have seen" - but are so many sub-types - you are so rights - and don't forget how co=morbids can come into play later.

Denise

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Fri, 12-11-2009 - 5:33pm
Its nice to see a guy here - and I am glad you are going slowly.

Denise

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Fri, 12-11-2009 - 12:43pm

HI


It's great that he is being tested, so you can find out what is going on. ADHD is not a spectrum disorder however, there are types, and subtypes, but you either have it, or you don't. Glad to hear they ae observing, DD's psych once told me that "it isn't IF they know the answers, it is HOW they know the answers", made alot of sense to me. ADHD can sometimes have a quirky way of learning, which is also sometimes indicitive of giftedness.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2009
Fri, 12-11-2009 - 12:15pm

So, we had our first meeting with the psych this week. Just the wife and I, to discuss the forms we all filled out and to talk a little more about what we see.

It went very well. We have a 2-hr IQ test scheduled for next week. It's more about observing the boy's behavior during the test rather than the test itself. There's some other testing and observing yet to be done (The Process) but the prelim diagnoses is ADHD but at the very bottom end of the spectrum.

We initially wanted to avoid medication but....we are convinced that it's just not the best choice we can make for our child. Our psych himself is a younger guy who described himself as an ADHD person who was able to control it well enough and sort of "fake" his way through school until he got to college. He says that the best thing a parent can do for their ADHD kid is to get on it as early as possible before too many bad habits and routines are ingrained.

We're still moving slowly through The Process but, overall, we are feeling pretty good and pretty lucky. We know many of you out there are dealing with much more difficult situations than we are. I'm here to say, do not give up hope. Things can and will get better.

I'll keep updating in the hopes that others can gain something positive from our experience.

-Ron




Edited 12/11/2009 12:36 pm ET by akrohana
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Wed, 11-25-2009 - 7:09pm

This is so funny - just last night (ds is 22 and in college) he left the house at 6p - has a 6:30 class - no traffic - at 6:30 he comes home - he forgot his eye pill and he can't miss one dose.

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 11-25-2009 - 11:13am
That sounds like my 12yo DD. She has lost her cell phoneX4, my phone, dh's phone, and a couple of MP3 players. She goes to sleepovers and forgets things, never gets them back because she has not a clue which friends house they got left at, books, movies,CD's ,

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Wed, 11-25-2009 - 10:42am

A lot of kids can manage to cope, or CON, their way thru school till they hit 12 or so, on a combination of personality and intelligence. It's when their brain suddenly has so many more competing things to deal with at the same time: sports, social life, extracurriculars, more self-directed schoolwork, and PUBERTY, that things begin to fall apart. And it's not always a matter of brain off/brain ON with meds either. My older dd was brain off/brain on. To this day(she's 28) I can tell if she's missed her meds. With my now almost 26yo dd, finding the right meds, and GETTING THEM INTO HER MOUTH, was much more difficult. She was "on" a variety of meds for almost a year, with no appreciable difference, when I happened to find a pharmacy in her sock drawer!!! After that, I was the "pill police" till she was 18. My younger dd was also ODD, and has a processing disorder, and benefited much more from counseling than my older dd. She still sees her Pdoc from time to time, while my older dd only needs her meds.

And even WITH the meds, and the counseling, and everything else, it's STILL a day to day struggle. My younger dd also did not even get Drivers Ed till she was 18. My older dd has had so many accidents I've lost count. Her last car was paid off in Oct '08. By March '09, she'd blown the engine. (Are you SURE you've changed the oil??? Swear to God, Dad. Swear to GOD!)
A few years ago we got both girls an IPod. On the back of younger's we had inscribed "To our little Peanut". On the back of older's we had "Rae, do not lose this." A few months ago, as older dd was giving me a ride in her new car, she wanted me to hear something on her IPod, and gave it to me after I screamed that perhaps she should watch the ROAD instead of the Ipod screen. As I messed with it, I turned it over to see a shiny, UN-inscripted back. DD looked at me and said, Oh hell Ma, it's my 3rd one!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 9:15pm

Unmedicated teens also tend to "self medicate" with illegal drugs. Another reason to use ADHD meds, and not worry so much. The chances of heart problem's are small, and that is why the EKG's are done before meds.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 6:21pm

I wouldn't let my ADHD ds get his DL til 18 and he was on meds - its just that simple - boys to tend to mature slowly - especially with ADHD/


The funny thing was I had to force him at 17 1/2 to get his learners permit (which was April and he started college that July - I already knew I would be driving him - that wasn't going to work for me - with different days and different hours - oh no.


It was the written test that killed him - 3 times - there were 38 questions and 15 of the questions would not apply to him when he got his lic in Oct cuz he would be 18.


Now the driving he got 100% - I knew he was good at driving but it took me about 3yrs not to worry when he got on the road - he was on meds


My ADHD nephew was not on meds - got his lic at 16 - and I think at last count he has had 8 accidents - totalled 3 cars - oh yeah

Denise

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 12:48pm

Hi, this is such a hard road to go down, isn't it?

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