11 yo AS/ADHD told 5 yo about death.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
11 yo AS/ADHD told 5 yo about death.
3
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 3:32am

WELL...it's been a while since I've been on the board. My 11 yr old brother w/ AS & ADHD has been doing GREAT.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 1:06pm

Hi Melanie,
Well I kinda look at this in a different way. I don't think talking about and thinking about death is something that's wrong. Its a normal part of life. I would only worry with your brother and anxiety, if its something he can't stop talking or thinking about. It kinda sounds like your brother just "Matter of factly" told him a fact of life, and in his mind, he can't see that he stirred up some emotional feelings with your son.

For your little guy, I am not surprised to see he's upset. I have a 20 yr old, 11 and 7 yr old. I remember at about 5-7 they found out about death and responded the same way your son did. I think the most frightening thing to a child that age, is if everyone eventually dies, then that means YOU will die. That is probably what scares him the most.

You can help him by reminding him that it will be years and years before you die, and that he will be a real big grownup person, so he shouldn't worry so much that you are going to die real soon. That was always a comfort to my children, and they seemed to of worked it out soon after on their own. If your son doesn't, then I would pay close attention to that.

Good luck! I can imagine how you must feel. BTW what a great mom and sister you are! :)

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 3:29am

Unfortunately, my oh so sensitive 5 yr. old is not the best at grasping time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 10:18am

I had this happen with my 5 yr old recently but not sure where she had heard about dying. I don't think my son said anything to her. One day she was tears that she was going to die. Nothing I said would help stop her fear and tears. Well, I recruited Grandma and after talking Sierra was okay. Apparently what Grandma said helped keep away her fears...she said dying would be a long, long time away and she will have a baby in her belly along before that time. Well, that did it. She got so excited that she will have a baby in her belly someday that she forgot about dying. Now I'm still patiently waiting for her to ask...now how does that baby get in my belly. LOL

Shell

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