14-year old with depression
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|Thu, 05-20-2010 - 1:53pm|
Epic rant...just wondering if anyone has dealt with similar issues and what to expect in the future.
My son is 14 and was dx'd PDD-NOS when he was about 9. He has a lot of anxiety and can be very negative. He's been on meds since his dx. Anger is the only emotion he fully understands. Lately he has been very depressed and has been refusing to attend school since before spring break.
At first I thought his depression was related to not having friends to connect with but now maybe I am seeing it could be more about being a square peg everyone is trying to jam into a round hole. Because he is so high functioning it has been hard for teachers and even we as parents to remember he is not like most kids.
I think he has spent a lot of energy trying to fit in and he is simply exhausted by it. The last week has been particularly bad. Whenever any conflict arises it comes to "It's your fault I was born. I just want to be dead." Even though I don't think he would ever try to fatally harm himself, we spent a night in the ER last week after he yelled these things to me for an hour during a car-ride home from his social skills therapy. Result was they prescribed tranquilizers until they could see him a week later in child psychiatry. Tuesday he had an appointment with the Intensive Outpatient Program psychologist.
It's to the point where we are afraid to deny any request or bring up anything undesirable because it turns into a lengthy screaming match where he bullies me to essentially make things better or end his life for him. He doesn't understand it can't be fixed immediately. In a way he doesn't even know what he is depressed about, he just says "everything."
So basically he is just sitting around the house watching videos and playing computer games. This morning was a big argument about him getting out to get some exercise.
Making things worse is I think the Regional Center, which pays for his therapy, has decided to discontinue their relationship with his therapy group. I'm waiting to hear back from the case worker. And our HMO offers very limited therapy. Regardless, since Jonah is unaware of what his problems are, I don't think he is getting much out of the therapy anyway. He is present but not engaged in the process.
So what do we do?
Truthfully, I am getting a little burned out being his primary social contact. He still has very child-like interests and an immature way of interacting, much like a pre-schooler. "What do think of this? Look at this." He speaks every thought that comes to mind and constantly asks me what I just laughed about, stuff like that. I feel like a monster just saying these things. But it's wearing me out. I'm not saying he never spends time alone entertaining himself...but he often bullies me to provide him with something to do (usually after I have said no to computer or another preferred activity.) And as I said, I have been very permissive with him lately to avoid a meltdown.
DH understands the toll its taking and encourages me to get away when I can but he is frustrated with the whole "let him do what he wants to keep him calm" status.
This is one of those times when I feel like I am just hanging by a thread just trying to survive.
I know there is no easy fix but I don't see a hard one either. Jonah does not believe he needs help because he does not believe he has a problem -- the problem in his eyes is everyone else. It comes down to you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
If anyone is still reading, thanks for listening!