1st day of summer school started badly

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
1st day of summer school started badly
8
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:19pm

OMG you guys I have never seen my son with so much anxiety before:( It is the first day of summer school. It is at the same special ed pre-k he has been to for the past 2 years. We let him know ahead of time and explained he would be taking the bus, see the same friends and his teacher would not be the same but an aide that has been in his class previously.

I could not get him to help himself get ready. This is nothing new always a struggle to get him out the door anyway. But as the time got closer for the bus to come he hid under his mattress and told me he didn't want to go. He was crying.

I asked why? He told me he was afraid of Caleb and Matthew. I asked why? He said C hits him sometimes. I asked if he was able to tell the teacher when that happens. He said yes. I asked what does the teacher do? He said C gets put in time out and he cries.

I had to carry ds downstairs to get his shoes and socks on while he was scraching me (darn it I wanted to trim his nails today). I finally get him outside and we put on shoes. He sees the bus and just crumples to the ground. I had to put on his backpack and pick him up. All the while he is fighting and scratching me.

His friends on the bus were soooo sweet. They were saying hi to me and smiling at me. One friend said don't cry Liam. The other said I will play with you! He got to sit next to a friend.

I promised him I would call the teacher and talk to her about this but I just got a message machine of course.

I felt so terrible putting him on the bus like this. I have never thought of my child as having the spectrum anxiety that everyone talks about. But he does. I am feeling torn up inside:(

Thanks for listening,

Molly

Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:26pm

Hi Molly, hugs to you. Was that just this morning? I thought school started yesterday and was wondering how the day went after all taht.

I remember similar situations with Cait getting on the bus for preschool summer school. That change/transition from regular school year to summer school can just really be hard. Was he taking the bus before or is that new? It could be a bunch of things. Hopefully if he has a good day today then it will be easier tomorrow.

What time does he get on the bus? Is DH around so he can help you too?

Praying tomorrow goes better and sending you a big hug.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 4:47pm

Hey Renee, thanks for some support. I just got back from running errands and the bus will be here soon. So to answer your ?s. Summer school started today they do a tues-fri during summer. Liam has always taken the bus. Dh is usually here to help but had a client appointment today.

I still feel upset and sick over this. Haven't spoken to teacher yet. Can't wait to see him when he gets here to find out how it went.

Thanks again,
Molly

Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 6:41pm

and??? i am waiting on pins and needles too. I would like to know how it went today. I know often when thier day started like that and I was worried all day, they ended up doing fine after all.

How did it go? Maybe once he gets the first day jitters out he will do better tomorrow. Mike was really stressed the first day adn I thought a couple times he was going to lose it but today he just walked right in with barely a good bye to me.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 7:24pm

He seemed okay when he got back. Told me neither boy was there (maybe they aren't attending ESY). The teacher hasn't started a journal yet so I don't know. She left a general note to the parents with her number but I haven't called because I have been crying and don't like to call people when I'm crying. But my dh will put him on the bus tomorrow.

My poor little guy. It just so happens that he also has horseback riding today. He is going to be pooped tonight. Bring on the wine:)

Molly

Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 10:10pm

Oh that is right. Cait wanted to work today but they didn't really need anyone on Tuesday. Does he still have Marla for an instructor?

What time is school for the poor guy? Maybe we can get together after sometime. Or next monday if he doesn't have school then. Or heck you and I can meet for coffee sometime when the boys are in school!

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 10:58pm

Hi Molly,
I keep reading your post and its probably the change in schedule. At least that would be something that my kids would do every time they started preschool, then had vacations, then had the month between preschool to start kindy, then kindy's vacations (christmas, Easter ect) then back to summer, then on to another year of school ect. Both boys would FREAK OUT everytime! And it would last awhile.

I remember chris' first day of preschool (he only had a quick two months to get him ready for kindy) and he freaked out when we went to get in the van. I had to sit down and ask him to draw pictures on the back of paper plates of how he felt. I said make me a sad face, then I said make me a mad face, then I said make me a happy face.

I said I bet your feeling all of these faces arn't you? Then I said why don't we go to the school and show the teacher and the kids how your feeling?

Well it worked and once he was there he let me leave him;.

He's filled with so many emotions that he just probabley can't handle it. Maybe tomorrow you can ask him to draw it out?

I hope I helped if anything....

Lainie

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Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:02pm

It feels like we are in chat here! No Miss Marla, he has Jennifer (one of the twins)who works on Fridays so he already knows her.

Next week there is no summer school due to July 4th so I have him in a rec center science camp from 9-12. We could do afternoon. Or I could meet for coffee while he is in camp or the following weeks his summer school is from 10:50-1:20.

Molly

Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 10:02pm

I am so sorry Summer school started of so rocky. I can SOOOOO empathize. Do you have some days that go great, he's just as happy to comply and others that are like this one where he just won't do anything at all?
So what is spectrum anxiety? My son has been anxious since birth I think. He never went to anyone other than me and still doesn't really. He's 4.

Let me rewind for a minute.
DS was born in 2003. At 10 months he started having night terrors. (Not sure if anyone here is familiar with those). These were occurring 3-4 times nightly and have recently reduced to a few a month. We went the month of May without any Praise God.
At age 2 he seemed to lose some speech he already had and at 29 months was placed in Babynet and was seen by an early interventionist. His DX at that time was "global developmental delays". By the time he was 3 and transitioning out of the program he only had delays in cognitive and social areas. His fine and gross motor skills were on a 6 year old level. (Hey what can I say, his dad played football and I danced my whole life, he's got good coordination genes :)
Anyway, at 3 1/2 he was placed in a "Preschool child with disabilities" class at the local public school due to his low scores on tests. His language scores were about a 70 on average. On the psych part of the test his high risk area was "withdrawal". He really doesn't like to interact much with other kids, but will tolerate it for a few minutes then go off by himself. If your still reading, God Bless you.
Anyhoo, the end of the school came and his teacher was concerened about lack of affect at school, difficulty processing (took a long time for him to pull the info out of his head), and lack of focus. He was easily distracted but always followed directions and class rules. When it came to singing time and dancing or anything with motor skills he led the class. Oh he also recieved Speech therapy at the school. Mild stuttering and lost of articulation errors and also some language therapy.
Our pediatrician has now referred him to a developmental pediatrician in Charleston, SC and the Medical University of South Carolina. We are still waiting on an appt.
He is currently enrolled in a Christian Summer camp run by one of the local Bible colleges here. They go to the water parks, bowling, the zoo, IMAX theaters, parks, and so many other places. They have devotions and crafts. Today they were so happy that Decker got in the lazy river at the park and floated on a float all by himself. That's a huge step from sitting on the steps in the baby pool playing with his toy shark. He even gets high fives from the bigger campers and has a girl that just loves him. She's 12. Wow, puppy love starts young lol.
My question is when he comes home he starts his normal aggressive behavior. HItting his sister (who is 3), hitting ME, screaming, throwing things, going completely against the flow. His sister is now starting to just give in to him by handing him whatever he wants. So, now I've got another issue to squash. She is a loving sweet girl and she gets her feelings hurt often when he smacks her face and takes her most prized toy from her. I love my son with everything in me, I'd die for him, I'd do anything for him! Does this fit the category of PDD? Am I even in the right place? Do night terrors have something to do with this? Am I just insane from lack of sleep for 4 years? Did I mention I added a new baby girl to the mix March 19, 2007. Whew. Hubby is off training soldiers for war and I'm left here to "figure things out". Nice.
I am so far gone I forgot why I originally replied.
Thanks!
Bryanne
29 yo married Mom of 3 (DS, 4, DD, 3, DD, 3 months)