4 year old's current issues

Avatar for googolplex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
4 year old's current issues
3
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 10:30pm

Well, I just posted about David, my oldest, but in a way I’m more concerned about my youngest, Nathan (4), who has been having a lot of trouble in preschool (he HATES it) .

The other day, he managed to let me know, in words, that he becomes very distressed when he's in a room with lots of people talking. I *knew* that, but this is the first time he has confirmed it with words. It’s hard to be sure, though. He says it hurts his ears when many people talk. Then again, this the the child who says things like, "I am ALWAYS cold and I am ALWAYS thirsty", when he means, "I'd like a cup of hot cocoa." He also has huge food issues, and gets really distressed at smells no one else smells (or things that smell good to others.) So, we've got an appointment with the ped, and hopefully we can get him some help. I read “The Out of Sync Child” and saw some familiar stuff, although nothing about kids who experience pain at normal sounds. Then again, I hate being in a room with lots of people talking. It doesn’t hurt, and I can cope, but I find it draining.

Nathan will be starting kindergarten next year, at the school David goes to. I asked the resource teacher if the school district will do some kind of screening for kids about to enter kindergarten, and she said she didn't think so. But here on this board, people are always talking about pre-kindergarten evaluations. I've looked at our school district website, such as it is, and it gives no indication of offering pre-kindergarten evaluations. Isn't there some kind of law or something that says they have to? Isn't that what IDEA is all about? When his brother David started kindergarten, they made no move to have him evaluated, but they suggested that I take him out of and give him a year of preschool. (He was 4 years, nine months on the first day of kindergarten.) The only preschool we could afford was kind of lame, but we did it. The next year, it took six month before we got an evaluation. If Nathan doesn't get some help soon, he's going to be labeled a trouble-maker, because when he is distressed, he deals with it by being destructive.

Evelyn, mom of Nathan (4, no dx, but something is going on with him)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 1:26pm

Evelyn

I have a feeling of deja vu here. I am sure I have written a similar post to you before. Nonetheless, here goes:

You can call the district and ask for the person who deals with preschool evaluations for Special Ed. They should talk you through the process, and tell you if you need a referral from your Ped or anyone else (some states will accept a parent as the referring party for a SpecEd evaluation, some will not).

Also you can talk to your pediatrician about the subject. Arrange a consultant visit -no kids, and sit down together for a real conversation. Write up a profile of Nathan to submit before the visit: his strengths, weaknesses, interests, fears and of course, your concerns. Thsi will give the Ped. time to process, research and mull before your meeting.

Bottom line: Don't wait for someone else to figure out Nathan needs help. That loses too much time. Take control. Go out there, find out who needs to know, and tell them. Then make suggestions as to what they are going to do about it.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Avatar for googolplex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 4:44pm

Paula,

Sorry, I must seem like a real flake! You are right. I'd forgotten that I posted here. I was asking around about this stuff, and then we had the holidays combined with a series of bad colds that pretty much left me a zombie for well over a month.

I admit, I haven't called the school district, but way back a few weeks/months ago I went to their website to get an idea of who to talk to there, and there was nothing that indicated that they provide a preschool screening service. I've asked other parents, and the resourse teacher at David's school (where Nathan will be going) if they do evaluations on children who are not yet in kindergarten (ie, not in "the system" yet) and they all seemed puzzled that I would even ask such a thing, and said they had never heard of such a thing (including the resource teacher, who I assumed would be the person who knows). So, up until now I've been assuming that I live in a district that simply does not provide that service.

But when I look at the text of IDEA, there is nothing that suggests that children have to be in the system already in order to be evaluated, and it does say in general that the law applies to individuals 3-22, with disabilities. So I don't know, really. We do have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow, so I'll see what she says.

:) Evelyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 8:40pm

Evelyn,

I have no right to call anyone a flake, I forgot my DD's parent/teacher conference recently!

Nathan's rights are protected by law. He is entitled to an evaluation and a placement if he needs it. It should happen within a certain time of requesting it (usually about 60 days) and should not cost you a penny. In MOST areas it works like this:

0-3yo: Early Intervention or birth-three, which is usually funded and administered by the county:

3-5yo: Preschool special Ed -usually funded by the county and administered by the school district

5-21 it's all school district.

Your SD probably doesn't want to advertise evaluations (mines doesn't), but that does not mean they won't do it. If the SD is not the place to go in your area; the Pediatrician will know which is, and can guide you.

You can also get more guidance on the IEP board. Thee may be someone there who can guide you on the particulars of your own state.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com