ABA and pottying = selling my kidney
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| Mon, 06-16-2008 - 4:30pm |
I have to make a decision about Cian and his potty(or non-potty training issue). And before I get the "this is what we did and it's fabulous"; trust me we've done it more than once and that is why I'm posting this.; letting him be nekkid, pull ups, no pullups, underwear, no underwear, character underwear, reward charts, (big and small), livig in the bathroom with him for hours on end etc etc...
As I mentioned in a previous post we had the ABBLS assessment last week from an ABA therapist. Today he emails me wanting to do 4 hours a week at $65 an hour.......WTF, that's over $900 a month and we are barely keeping afloat as it is. What should I do? I mean kindy is all of 6 weeks away and he's to be in inclusion. He's managed to keep it together at preschool, but that was 3 hours a day with LOTS of prompts, and I'm talking about peeing, not pooping. He has pooped on the potty twice in the last 6 months.....sigh. Would it be worth it to try for 1-2 hours a week (although I'm not sure how to swing that either). Should I wait until kindy starts, war the teacher and hope to God he gets it amongst his peers, (although I doubt that would work anyway.)
Ugh, and I just dropped $400 on the assessment too!!!
Dee








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Oh boy that is so tough....I hate when we have to chose over money and helping our kids.
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((((HUGS)))) I have no advice; just want you to know it's a crap shoot-- LOL! sorry-- and don't know what I'd suggest. I can't think of very much therapy that's worth $900 a month. On the other hand if it really did help get him in a place where he was consistent w/ pottying and ready for inclusion kindy. I just don't know. Could be that something will just click for him-- happened w/ my oldest, Warren (at 4 yrs and 5 months) and for Weston at age 5.5. He was actually in kindy. We'd been taking him potty every hour for 3 years at that point (his kindy teacher reminded him each hour as well after several accidents, he wasn't Dx'd yet either). He'd only poo'd on the potty when we would give him a stool softener and/or laxative. And suddenly he just sort of got it-- still has accidents on occasion even at age 11, but he took ownership of it at 5.5. My friend w/ a classically autistic son said her son decided to potty train at age 10. so, it could happen w/o the $900 but who is to know when.
sorry, not really the positive helpful post you might have been looking for.
Betsy
OMG, you totally articulated what I've been trying to word in my head all day. I'm just kicking myself for being so dumb and forking over $400 of our stimulus check for an assessment that is only good for 6 months anyway.....man I'm an idiot sometimes. I genuinely thought this therapist would work with us maybe an hour a week and give ME ideas as to what to do here. I effectively wanted a consult but no one would offer it without the ABBLS first. I mean who on Earth can afford almost $1000 a month-I am sure he is very good but beginning to feel duped here. I'm sure this guy knows Cian would benefit from one hour as much as four, he's just making it worth his while:(
Dee
Made by My Cool Signs
Don't blame you for feeling duped. 4hrs per week sounds like a swiz to me.
The one time we have a Autism consultant work in our home it was (I think) 45mins in the home for a total of 1 hour per week for her. I guess she spent 15 mins preparing, writing social stories, communicating by phone on off days and the like.
what she did was ask me what specific behaviours I wanted to work on, and then try some stuff with Peter, give me some tips and then check back maybe in a few days to see how things were going.
I really don't see how the added stress of a stranger in your home for four hours per week, taking up space and doing stuff that he doubtless could have taught *you* in 30 minutes is ultimately going to help any of you really.
...and all of the time I am wondering this:
What is so wrong with sending him to school not potty trained. OK if he withholds and is at risk for encropresis (sp?) I get it. However, in my mind I think to push this issue kind-of gives a false impression of Cian for Kindy, you know? Like he will develop a splinter skill or something.
Can you take the assessment to the school district and try and get *them* to get their finger out and implement a pottying plan at school (or before)?
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Wow!!! I totally misunderstood when you talked about this therapy before. I thought they actually potty trained your child. Under those terms, I thought it was a lot of money but maybe worth it. If they're just going to offer ideas for $900/month, forget it. I can come up with lots of ideas that may or may not work for a lot less than $900/month.
I agree with whomever said "what's so bad about his not being potty trained in kindergarten?!" Long before we knew what encopresis was or that my kids had AS, my ds would soil himself periodically in kindergarten. We were blessed to have a wonderfully patient and understanding teacher and school nurses who would discreetly get ds to the nurse's office and call me to come help ds clean himself up. My AS dd was in 4th grade before she quit having occasional wetting accidents at school.
Later on we learned that ds had encopresis (due to slow motility as opposed to stool withholding -- probably due to the AS), treated it, and he stopped having soiling accidents at school. Dd's body eventually matured and she quit having wetting accidents. However, I also know that my kids weren't the only children to wet/mess themselves at school. The nurses periodically put out requests for donations of spare clothing for children who had accidents at school (my kids always kept a spare of their own clothing in the nurse's office). The clothing sizes most requested were for the younger aged child. I'm sure other schools see problems with nervous/distracted/disabled children, too.
Also, for the potty training, my AS ds WANTED to potty train but just couldn't. He didn't have sensory awareness for a long time to help him figure it out. He'd watch his siblings and try to copy them, but he couldn't figure out how to make his body parts work. Once he finally recognized and understood his body signals, he was able to potty train, but it definitely took him awhile. (And poop potty training was extra fun due to anxieties!)
I'm with Paual on this one. You have an assessment and a dx. And you have all summer to work on it at your leisure and pace you all feel comfy with. If Cian's not potty trained to the school's liking then they'll have to do something about it on some level. He'll be there all day! You won't be able to potty train him when he's at school; it's a life skill, they'll need to have some kind of plan to support his potty training whether they like it or not.
Someone on the AANE group I belong to (Asperger's Assoc. of NE) got in home ABA or other kind of support/counselling written into their kid's IEP. They fought pretty hard for it and probably a year or more, but they got it and it helped them tremendously. Might be something to consider if Cian gets through Kindy and potty training is still a struggle.
Oh and sending lots of calming vibes your way too........potty training was no fun around here either.
I have slept on it all (even had the odd anxiety dream...only me lol) and have come to terms with the fact that I dropped a wad of cash on an assessment that probably will not be implemented. Dh was pushing the potty thing much more and I of course took it on board. In reality when I'm laid back about it we all could care less. I guess he'll be going to school with 3 or 4 spare pairs of clothes;)
The deal breaker was when we went to OT and speech today and I found out I'd be footing $81 per 30 mins of speech (insurance won't cover it) and to me ST is far more important with his dysarthria on top of everything else. Ta all, I shall now relax with a beer and a law and order svu:) yes I find other people's woes relaxing, ok!!! heeeeee
Dee
Made by My Cool Signs
My humble opinion is that it truly does just happen when it happens.
Not sure if it's any consolation, but Isaac is headed into 2nd grade and is still in pull-ups.
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