Absolute frustration with EI

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Absolute frustration with EI
6
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 1:20pm

I just need to vent a little. Sorry if its a little long. My daughter Brooke, 2 1/2 yrs old, was recently diagnosed with PDD-NOS. She has been receiving EI services for a little over a year now for a language delay. She attends a toddler group once a week for 2 hours at the EI center. Yesterday I just wanted to scream, then cry, then scream some more. Brooke used to absolutely love going to "school" but the last two weeks were a different story. They changed the teacher and there are a few new kids in her group so she freaked out when I went to drop her off. She doesn't handle change very well. They had to physically pry her off of my neck. When I went in to pick her up she came running over to me and told me that she had fun today, which one of the teachers overheard. The teacher came over to me and said, "oh really? she had fun? cuz she did ZERO today". She actually held up her hands to make a big zero just to get her point across. The tone in her voice and the way she said it really infuriated me. Right then and there I knew why she didn't want to go to school anymore. She picked right up on the negative vibe from that teacher. Even though it was really slight and most people wouldn't have noticed it, I totally did and so did my daughter. That is just one example of the negativity that we've been dealing with lately towards her from these EI people. Its almost as if they resent her so-called bad behavior.

Another incident that ticked me off also happened yesterday. They have a two-way mirror where parents can watch the group but the kids can't see out. My daughter will not talk to people she doesn't know. At snack time the new teacher wouldn't give any kid a snack until they said "me". (by the way, this is a group for kids with a language delay) All the kids eventually either said "me" or signed it, but Brooke wouldn't. So once again, she got isolated. Every kid got a snack except for her and it was so painful to watch her looking around at the table watching the kids all enjoy their snack. I wanted to punch the teacher out. Thankfully there was another parent in there with me who calmed me down.

The person who comes out to our house once a week is also very negative. She says things like "we all know that Brookie can't do that" and "we know how difficult she can be". What is wrong with these people? What ever happened to positive reinforcement? Am being too sensitive because its my daughter?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2003
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 2:00pm
edited


Edited 8/29/2007 10:26 pm ET by idaphne63
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 5:29pm

Oh yick! Poor Brooke for having to deal with those people!


APOV on Autism

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:24pm

I remember when Josh was in 3rd grade prior to his Dx. And Josh was being Josh. The classroom set up was 5 desks together as a group/cluster. And Josh was at that point was not Dx with anything yet not even ADHD. But Josh would be figdety/annoying etc. But any way I had go in for Parent Teacher conference or something like that and saw Josh's desk by the door by itself. I also knew this teacher had a behavior plan where the kids could earn papermoney for good behavior BUT lose it for bad. Guess who didn't have much cash. Not good.

But any way when I saw the desk, I went to the school psycologist to talk to here about Josh. I brought up his behaviors and all. I also told her about the desk. And how I felt by the teacher isolating Josh like that was basically teaching the other kids in the class that it was okay to do this to Josh. It came back once to bite me in the A$$ by my evil neighbor where she blabbed to me how bad my kid was to need his desk seperated from the rest of the class months later. But the psycologist agreed with me that was not right and went to the teacher to tell her to put Josh's desk back with the rest of the kids. And not to do it again. We also set up a social skills group for Josh and he had some behavior mods put into place that year. Also, that same year the kids were going on a field trip and Josh was in a pull out. The kids all went on the buses for the field trip and they all left/ Without Josh. The teacher apparently forgot Josh was at OT. The teacher was so upset, but still again teaching the other kids it was okay to leave out Josh even if it wasn't intentional. This year my middle son is going into 3rd grade and I really have to think if I want him to be in this lady's class, even though Ethan is NT and would probably have $2000 of paper money etc, but I still resent this lady

The following year we had a much better teacher who was able to deal with Josh without isolating him and put anybody who gave Josh a hard time in their place because she wouldn't tolerate it. And Josh did really well that year. That teacher retired.:-(

My point is that you need to speak up for your DD now.Go to this teacher's boss and find out what the plan is. What the philosophy of this EI school is. And if the teacher's behavior is not matching the ideals, then tell the school. Also tell them that there is hstility and your child is not to be deprived of her snack even if she doesn't even say boo. You do not want your child or anybody else child to taught that it is okay to leave any child out of any thing.

If the bosses agree look for changes, if not look somewhere else.

Stand up now for your daughter. It is only the beginning. Besides if your DD has a good time being a voyuer for right now then they need to accept it.

Good luck and hugs

Rina

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 2:00pm

My goodness, its just unbelievable that something like that even happens. I'm still new with all of this and we are only just beginning to deal with people like that.

Brooke is only in EI for three more months and then we go into the public school system. I understand what they were trying to do by withholding the snack, but it still seemed a little harsh, and if that were the only issue that I had with them i probably wouldn't have made that big a deal about it. I didn't say anything to the teacher because I was worried that they would just be resentful and treat her worse.

We are on the waiting list for ABA services from an outside program. I think that will be better for us. I know that they are more strict and regemented but at least they will be more familiar with how to respond to her behavior in a positive manner (I hope so anyway).

Thank you for letting me vent and thanks everyone for listening.
Thanks,
Angela

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 4:46pm
I'm with everyone else on this one.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 6:03pm

You are so NOT being too sensitive! Those people are totally in the wrong job.

-Paula

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