afraid to leave house
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afraid to leave house
| Thu, 05-04-2006 - 5:14pm |
I've had a terrible time getting my three year old undiagnosed (as of yet) aspie out of the house. She says she doesn't want to leave. She doesn't even want to play outside. When we go to the store she doesn't want to leave the car and beggs to go home. She always cried when we were out before, but now she verbalizes it (since she can talk quite well.)
I fear it may become an OCD.


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My son does the very same thing from time to time. Usually it's because he wants to stay at home because he wants to play with his latest obsession. He did it just today because he wanted to stay and listen to a solar system cd(LOL). I know a child my son was in a social skilss group with(undiagnosed) hated to go anywhere and was so bad his mom would have to force him into his carseat! It could have something to do with transitioning from one task to the other. Maybe you could use a picture schedule with her so she knows exactly what is going to happen when you go out?
Teresa
I have considered a picture schedule. PErhaps I will make up some basics. She hates the car seat too, and has all her life. She was diagnosed with SID 1 1/2 years ago.
When she is a little older I think she will be able to discuss WHY she doesn't want to go out (for instance, she doesn't like the feeling of the grass on her leggs so I put long pants and closed toed shoes on her.) However, she doesn't want to wear clothes and shoes at all, so that is a big reason why she doesn't want to go out. Going out equals clothes and shoes. When we are in the store she will start stripping down if she is 'hot' or slightly wet or doesn't like such and such.
Teresa
She doesn't let me brush her. I like it, though. I have been diagnosed with SID and AS. I keep a surgical brush next to my bed and have even considered taking it with me in my diaper bag. She used to like joint compressions but she is resistant to that. I hold her alot (she constantly wants to be touched, which bugs me because I am touch sensitive) so I massage her while I hold her.
Sarah
You sound a lot like my daughter Ella and your daughter sounds a lot like my son Jake.He didn't like brushing but loves message but I have to do it very firmly our it can have the opposite effect on him. He constantly needs to touch me and loves deep pressure.He's kind of a hard kid to figure out sensory wise because for so long he was undersensitive which at times he still is but now he's a lot more touch sensitive than he ever was. Ella is definetly hyper sensitive to touch but like I said she is doing really well. How old is your daughter?Have you ever tried a vest on her? If she craves deep pressure that might work? What other things besisdes the sensory stuff make you think she's on the spectrum? Jake is most definetly on the spectrum but with Ella besides the sensory stuff I don't see anything else.
Teresa
I can relate to that!
My 5yo aspie never wants to leave the house either.
Well, she's only three so some of the typical AS stuff isn't prevalent yet. My mom says she is just like I was as a child (and I have been diagnosed with AS.) Besides having a combination hyper/hypo sensativity, she seems to have ODD and ADHD although I wouldn't clasify her as such. As a baby she avoided all eye contact and refused to sleep. From birth I had to let her scream herself to sleep. She is better now, thankfully, although she hasn't had a nap since she was two. I have worked with her on eye contact. She is much better at that too, except when she is overstimulated.
She has terrible meltdowns that can last for long periods of time, since she typically has difficulty with transitions anyway. Everything has to be exactly how she likes it at all times. She has trouble with changes. She worries exsesively about wither the van is in the driveway, ect. My dad did some stuff in her room and put her bed on the wrong side of her room and she freaked out. She likes to watch the same thing over and over and doesn't like new clothes or shoes. She's very bright. She has an unusally detailed memory. She won't forget something, even a year later.
IT's difficult to know what is sensory related (she only recently began letting me give her baths and swinging) and what has nothing to do with sensory stuff.
What do you think I should be looking for in a three year old? There is something deffinitely 'wrong' with her, but how can you tell if it's not SID, bipolar, ODD, OCD, ect? Those are all comorbid conditions of AS anyway...and throw in the mix that I have AS, my husband has an aspie personality, and our parents exhibit stron aspie personalities as well. It is certainly not true in our case that oposites attract.
Debbie,
I do prepare for the trip. If I know the day before (like for Mother's Day Out) I tell her all day the day before "Tomorrow we're going to do such and such" We talk about going and exactly what will transpire up until time to get ready, and we talk about how we have to wear clothes and a diaper and shoes to go out (or for just the yard I only require a diaper and shoes-even when she takes those things off while outside she STILL wants to go back inside.) That's when she starts freaking out. So, I do think that wearing clothes and shoes and a diaper is her major reason for hating to go anywhere. She won't even do it for McDonalds. I let her take her blanket or care bear, too, but it just doesn't seem to help.
Oh, as for more autstic symptoms: Kailey bangs her head on the walls, windows, doors and floor. She used to bang her head on the concrete/street/driveway whenever we were out. She would be screaming and banging. She loves to spin around and does so for hours every day. She always loved watching the fan. She was never affectionate or interested in interacting with others. When her sister was about a year old and was doing things like walking, KAiley began to show affection. Whenever her sister did something new she would say "I love you, baby," and hug her. Eventually she became very affectionate to others (especially me) and is now overy affectionate. She wants to be held, cuddled, ect constantly. She can play, now, although everything has to be done her way and she doesn't want to share. If someone else wants it then she wants it too. Oh, she ASKS to be spanked. No form of punishment seems to work with her. She's always been a toewalker and a handflapper, as have I. We bounce, too. At church it took a year for her to speak and much of it is echolia, rarely her own thoughts. At Mother's Day Out it took about six months, and again much of it was echolia. But they did find that she would talk while swinging or playing with bubbles. At home, though, she spoke in complete sentences with advanced speech skills. I spoke like a four year old before I turned two, but I didn't have a problem talking to others like she does.
She was in ECI for fine and gross motor delay and A-typical behaviour. They didn't know about asperger's, so nothing was suggested. Her pediatrician just said she has a type A personality. When I found out I had AS her pediatrician said "That's probably what's wrong with her." We scheduled an apt with a behavorial therapist who said that she doesn't believe that either one of us have a PDD because we can make eye contact (learned behaviour, not automatic) can converse (again, learned) and have imaginations (since when did aspies not have an imagination! I have a literal way of thinking, but I certainly do have an imagination!) Anyway, she was diagnosed with SID and told to come back in a year. We did so, and her motor skills had greatly improved although still behind on some like unable to hold a writing instrument corectly (she holds it in a fist.) Obviously, she still has SID (I do too, so I don't think that it is going away.) I expect that one day she will be diagnosed with AS or at least PDD-NOS.
Hi,
Brushing helped my daughter immensely, but like many highly tactile sensitive individuals, she would not tolerate the brush at first. We had to work her up to it.
I started with a scented lotion. I had try several before I found one she liked (sweetpea from bath and body works). I would strip her to her underwear and rub the lotion on her skin with my hands, using the Wilbarger protocol. Siobhan would 'help' by holding the lotion and applying globs of it where directed (and often where not directed!). After brushing, we would do joint compressions.
I got her into the routine of this "brushing" every morning and night (our OT did not recommend the every 15 min thing) for about two weeks. Each day I slightly increased the pressure of the strokes, until it was roughly equivilent to the brush. Then, one day, I told here we were going to use the brush. She was a little unsure, but she held the lotion while I brushed her, and she tolerated the brushing very well. I think we applied some lotion afterward, for the scent and the continuance.
Brushing was the ONLY thing which helped her to sleep through the night. She used to wake 3-5 times each and every night from birth to 3¼. Once we started brushing, she slept through the night and *that* helped with a lot of her other intolerences. I know for a fact it was brushing which did the trick, because if I slacked off for a day or two the night waking began again. It was very predictable!
I do recommend you try this. My DD sound similar to yours. She was extremely noise sensitive, was a nightmare to dress and to keep dressed, had many texture aversions: sand, sticky, grass, rough etc; had hysterics if the wind blew on her, craved deep hugs, preferably while being rocked, and was a 'crasher-basher' -although nothing to the extent my DS was/is... ('nother story)
Brushing and pretty intensive OT helped Siobhan an enormous amount. She is now 6, and mainstreamed with supports near the top of her class in K. She graduated from OT last year, although I still use a lot of stuff at home with both kids (when I am there). I have SID myself, so like you, I know a lot of this stuff from the inside.
Good luck and I HTH.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
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