Agressive vs subdued
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| Tue, 12-27-2005 - 12:16pm |
I read all the posts and I wonder......most of the kids on the spectrum are very physical. Agression seems to be a part of their makeup. Why is Nathan different? He seems to be more "checked out", in his own world. And even when he's not, he's still very passive and quiet. Are there other mom's here on the board that have more subdued children? Nathan has his moments. We still have the tantrums and screaming on occasion. But for the most part he's very quiet. Even my nephew, who we think might be on the spectrum, is very active, agressive, forward, and demanding.
Nathan is demanding in his own way though. He's particular about things, and will correct you if you're wrong. He's active in his own way too....he jumps, runs back and forth, paces, goes up and down the stairs, slides, skips, etc.
I know that there a varying levels, no two autistics are alike. I wonder why he doesn't have much agression, not that I'm complaining!! LOL
michelle

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Michelle,
I'm thinking that probably has more to do with personality than autism. Peter is an exploder, whereas Siobhan is a "withdrawer" and ultimately a "shutter-down". I thought it was a gender thing, but it's not. Peter has my personality. He has it to a "T". Siobhan has DH's.
I am an exploder, DH shuts down.
What was it Renee said about apples and trees?
-Paula
very
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Weston is not aggressive. Though lately, he's 9, he's been shouting and very angry when anyone does something not expected, or against his perceived rules of how the game/or whatever play should go.
Weston is calm and considerate at school (and sometimes at home), he does sweet things for lots of others in lots of different circumstances.
He was a huge tantrum-er when he was younger, not he's more of an angry yeller/shouter, but he doesn't get aggressive toward anyone else.
Betsy
Jacob has the disadvantage of being bipolar. When his meds are working he is in a constant state of irritability. Everything will set him off. Screaming every 10 min the whole day. You can't say his name without him going into a tantrum. If you look at him wrong---tantrum. Luckily he is semi-stable right now. But Christmas and no school has really set him off.
We have a friend who is very typical aspergers in our church. Very quiet and subdued. He never had the aggression when younger at all. He is very awkward, clumsy and no facial expression. Monotone voice.
Jacob is not like that at all. He is very charming, great facial expressions, and normal voice. People think he is a "normal" kid and I sometimes wonder if he really is HFA. After I told the SLP today about Jacob new dx of HFA last week, she said---"yeh---are you surprised?" She's thought since day 1 of seeing him about 1 month ago that he is ASD.
Holly
Jacob--5y
Whenever I read your posts about Nathan it seems like our kids are exactly alike. Chase is very passive and won't even stand up to his 3 year old little brother who annoys him constantly. Daniel(3) punched Chase right in the face yesterday and Chase just laughed and didn't get mad at all. If I give him permission to defend himself he is very uncomfortable and says "mom, he's just a toddler." Chase is more of the "in his own world, absent-minded professor type" too. It just worries me a bit that he might be bullied when he's older if he doesn't learn to stand up to people more. Vicky
Christie
Paula, Sometimes I do wonder about it just being a personality thing too. I'm very shy and passive myself. I also have other autie tendencies...very mild though. I can be obsessive, routine, want things a certain way....but I bend easily. And I always seem to compromise too. Tyler is exactly like his dad though!!! And I don't just mean his personality either. They look the same, have the same body, hands, feet, hair, they walk the same....it's insane!!!!!
Betsy, Nathan also gets upset when rules are broken. Whether it's a game, the way you set a toy up, how you set the table, etc.....these are things that get him all wound up with anger!! He's also pretty good at school too. They think he's just adorable. Nathan is fine...until you do something wrong (well, wrong according to Nathan!!)
Holly, Nathan is also good with facial expressions, and he's pretty charming too!!! He has this look he gives, that just makes you grab him and kiss him all over!! LOL My mom loves this....she loves to see his dimples, and his big brown eyes!!
Vicky, Actually, even though Nathan is pretty quiet, he's definitely able to stand up for himself. Although, this just happened this year. I used to think that he could only do this at home, but his teacher told me about an incident that happened in class. She had a boy (adhd) sit next to Nathan, she wasn't sure if this would work or not. Well, he kept talking and bugging the heck out of Nathan. Nathan remained calm for some time.....then he raised his voice at this boy, and told him, "I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, LEAVE ME ALONE!!" His teacher wasn't sure if this little boy was really bothering Nathan until Nathan spoke up. Needless to say, she moved this boy to another part of the classroom. I was awfully proud of Nathan for speaking up for himself. And the fact that he tried to block this boy out and remain calm.....he tried!!! LOL I don't know if there have been other similiar situations like this that he has had to encounter though. BTW, does Chase do alot of "thinking" or "daydreaming" too??
Thank you all for your responses!!
michelle
Cait is not aggressive at all. As a toddler she was prone to frequent long meltdowns but these never led to aggression. On rare occasions if she is really really in a state she may self abuse or distroy something (like ripping up paper) and stomp and scream but isn't aggressive. In fact when seh was 3 she was put briefly on ritalin and it was the only time she did aggress. That was dc'ed quickly. In fact from the time she was about 6 until this year (puberty) they were rare and only when under huge stress (usually school related) and almost always involved only refusal to do things and stubborness.
She has never, ever had a meltdown in school starting with special ed preschool at 3 all the way up to currently. If very stressed she withdraws and if it gets real severe she will just refuse to go at all but all very quietly, lol.
Mike is trying and slowly getting better. He is agressing less but still screams frequently. He is not as aggressive as he was, but he is a fight or flight kind of guy almost always in the state of tension. Even as a baby he was always tense and anxious. He just felt tense all the time. It is usually during high frustration or if someone is breaking a rule. He doesn't even always realize he can hurt someone else. For instance, once his sister was climbing on his bunkbed (he was 6) and because the rule said only one allowed, he pushed her off afraid something terrible would happen because she was breaking a rule. Something terrible did happen. She broke her wrist when she fell because he pushed her.
Renee
Michelle,
Chase will verbally stand up for himself, but has to be pushed pretty far too. He is a big thinker, daydreamer. He does a thing he calls "imaginating" where he goes into his head and thinks of things he wants to create or just recounts TV shows in his head. His favorite time for doing this used to be during the morning annoucments at school but we have slowly gotten him off of that routine. I think maturity goes a long way in overcoming the daydreaming thing. His classmates help with that too...they tell him not to go to "la la land" to help him snap out of it and I think the desire to be a part of the group keeps him from detaching. He also likes to pace, skip, jump and twist his body around. In fact, he loves to study his spelling test words like that, in constant motion.
Vicky
Jake is also kind of laid back. He really is a dream child and very rarely has meltdowns. Even if he gets upset I can easily distract him and settle him down.I'm still waiting for the terrible two stage with him. He's very easy to please. Ella on the other hand is a whole different story! I already see her being aggressive with Jake and she is only 18 months old. She is very jealous of him and will hit him if I have him in my arms or if he gets in her way.I think it has to do more with personality as well.
Teresa
Michelle,
Ryan (6.5, AS) isn't really physical or agressive either. If he frustrated over a transition, unexpected event, or just overstimulated.. he is more likely to cry. He's gotten a lot better is this respect, he used to sob uncontrollably.. now a few tears and he can usually get it together..usually.
But he is a loner. He likes to play with other kids sometimes, but he gets tired of them after a while and come home.. or if there at our house..he'll ask me to get them to leave..lol! I'm a loner too, so I can understand that.
Kate
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