Am I doing enough?????

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Registered: 04-28-2007
Am I doing enough?????
10
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 3:34pm

I find my self in a strange place in terms of the boys and what I should be doing for them. Both have been out of private OT for 10 months now as we have lost 3 OT clinics in this county alone, and I am sick and tired of getting them into another clinic only to have it close down within weeks (I am not kidding either). Until the waiver is approved I have no $$$ for therapy anyway. At school Liam only gets 30 mins OT consultation a MONTH. Cian is doing better wth 30 mins a week, but all fine motor, the boy is a friggin' wannabee gymnast at home.

Both get 60 mins speech a week, which is good, although poor Liam had no speech whatsoever until last April, and Cian no OT whatsoever until last Fall.

Cian has lost all eye contact now (he had some this time last year) and his Aspieness is emerging moreso everyday, which is fine as that is part of who he is, but he is starting to withdraw more and make less eye contact, even with me. His speech still is his biggest symptom, he still can't make any sound close to a hard G, C or K; ie: back of the throat and tongue to the tip of his pallet is non-existent and he's been in speech for almost 3 years (private and services.) Even the current SLP is at a loss for what to do.

I know there are loads of other things I should and could be doing for them, but I'm just plain wiped out these days. Roan still doesn't sleep, she still refuses to wean and I am still 30 lbs overweaight. I guess I am panicing as Liam will be 8 in March and I feel like we are running out of time for him,....does this make any sense at all, or am I just whining again!!!

On top of all this I have to go back to work in August and I feel if I do find other therapies etc, how will I find the time to take the kids to them???? I guess I am in a black hole and don't know what else to do; I know they need more but as we have $17 to our name until Friday, how on earth can I afford it? Sigh!

Dee

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APOV on Autism
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 10:28pm

Yikes. I know you're doing all you can.

I hope and pray that everything looks better and brighter really soon.

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Registered: 05-28-2004
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 11:39pm

I'm right there with you


-Sidney


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Registered: 12-22-2003
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 11:48pm

Dee Darlin'- I think that's the the million dollar question- both literally and figuratively.

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Registered: 10-03-2004
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 12:55pm

Hi Dee,

That's the roughest question for us all, and that includes all the sn parents I know in NYC as well. And I struggle with "Peer pressure" --- everything I hear others are doing for their kid, I have to try for mine, to the point where we are paying SO much money... Gasp! And I wworry constantly that we are doing him a disservice by keeping him out of school, I know I know, we haven't found anything we think is remotely appropriate or he would be there BUT I still worry.

The very hardest thing of all is when our kids are having rough times and what we are doing for them doesn't seem to be helping. I can never leave well enough alone, I have to keep re-tooling, and I never ever stop worrying. It's aging me, I used to be kinda cute!!!

But hon, you gotta start with you, taking care of you first. I know I say this all the time, but it's true. That is what REALLY works best. If you are not eating in a healthy restorative way, start there. Don't worry about the weight, work on energy, eat WAY healthy, resting whenever possible, drinking lots of water, let exercise come naturally as you feel better and more energetic. Cuz the better YOU feel, the better job taking care of kids and making those hard decisions will be.

Anyways, ((((((HUGS))))))) to you. Hey, my brother and his wife and baby are moving to Atlanta this summer, so there will be at least once a year now that we might come down, visit other relatives in NC and then drive to Atlanta, then we can finally meet up!!! Their baby is 1 years old now, so we could really have a playdate!

yours,

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 3:56pm

Hi Dee,


IMHO, I think you are doing amazingly well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 4:33pm

Dee,

Here is a word for you: Balance.

Say it with me:

Baaalaaance.

You can't do everything. You have to pick your battles and try to find equilibrium. Which is another word for balance.

If you are concerned about the boys' level of services, and can't afford oodles of cash for private stuff, take it back to the school district. If you can prove anything on paper, so much the better. I remember in K, Peter's scores in one marking period went from 2s, 3s and 4s to 1s ands 2s and I threw a fit and said it was a regeression (it was). Lo and behold, I got him a bunch more services.

And ditto what Sara said BTW. You have gots to look after you first.

((((hugs)))) girlie.

-Paula

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Registered: 04-28-2007
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 7:23pm

Ah Gals, as ever you are my rock and solice!

I know, I would like to get the lads (my lads that is) into private OT/speech and the odd aqua or hippotherapy session, but for now I'll take what is there. Ideally both need social skills groups. I guess I need to think what is really necessary, ad what $$$ I can

ta all

Dee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 7:19pm

In answer to your question "am I doing enough?????", I hate to break it to you, Dee, but you are clearly a first class slacker. Let's get with it, eh? Chop chop! I don't see any underwater yoga therapy on that list.

Seriously though, I think you should give yourself a break.

You know what special therapies I have my aspie in? Nada. Just making sure that the kids complete most of their weekly homework is enough to wear me out.

I think...and this is just my humble opinion...that the best thing you can do for them is to not stress out about trying to do more. A relaxed, well-rested mommy is the best therapy you can give any of them. Because when mom is tired and cranky, everyone suffers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 7:22pm
Hey! Wait a minute! Now all of a sudden there are like 8 or 9 responses before mine. I swear they weren't there before.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 11:00pm

{{{Dee}}} I am with Evelyn here.