Am I making too much of this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Am I making too much of this?
3
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 11:02am

When Haley comes home upset, I turn into Vicious Mama Bear on the spot. I've always been that way. I don't always take objective looks at things.

Yesterday, Haley came home breathing hard and fast and was crying so hard I could barely understand a word she was saying. Haley had a really bad day during recess. She fell on a couple of things and got her foot stuck in a rope bridge. She couldn't get it out and was scared to death. Another kid finally helped her (while a bunch were too busy laughing at her apparently). I asked her who was out there with the class and where were they? She said they were at a different part of the playground. They didn't come over because they wanted to give her a chance to get herself out. That they didn't want to embarrass her by coming over right away to help her like a baby.

On one hand... I don't know how she was stuck and if she was making more of it than it actually was or if she really was seriously stuck and the teachers just didn't care enough to do anything about it. But to make a statement like that. "We didn't want to embarrass you by coming over too fast to help like you were a baby." That just infuriates me! I mean, what if she was hurt?

Haley is an EXTREMELY sensitive kid. She was a wreck over this all evening. She doesn't want me to say anything to the school but I still wonder if I should or if I am just making a mountain out of a mole hill. What do you think?

Jill



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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 12:18pm
Hi Jill,
I can really relate to your post about having school "professionals" not take extra care w/ our kids. They should have never used that phrase w/ your child. It infers that if someone needs assistance, then that means they're acting like a baby. Did you ask them if they actually said that to her? Either way, they need to know that you have a sensitive child (as do I) and they need to separate so that there is someone supervising all areas of the playground. I know that often, school staff wants to congregate so that while they're watching the kids, they can chit chat. I'm not saying this was the case here, but it's just something I've noticed at various schools. What they don't understand is that out on the playground, self-esteem can be broken. Out on the casual playground, lots of feelings can be hurt. Yes, kids *should* be given the opportunity to solve issues on their own, but a child who is stuck should be asked if they need assistance. I would remind them that your child has special needs. She needs a little extra TLC and not to be made fun of on the playground. I know we can't stop all teasing. I know I was teased at some points in my life and it's a horrible feeling. Ask them if they've ever experienced teasing and remind them that they probably didn't have to deal with so many other obstacles as your child. Oh, and don't forget to let them know just how devestated your daughter was yesterday. So, no, I don't think you're making too much of this event. They failed to be there for your daughter when they should have known better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 1:39pm

Thank you. I haven't talked to them yet but I did want to be sure the teacher actually did say that. I know Haley tends to hear things differently sometimes. The thing that really got me was this was a special ed assistant. She is very familiar with Haley so that compounds things with me. But then I think... since she is very familiar with Haley and has always been good with her... why would she say something like that unless she didn't realize how it came out? Or Haley embellished it in her own mind.

But I totally agree. They really need to better supervise the playground activities. That does concern me.

Thanks again for your input.

Jill



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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 2:26pm

Hmmm.


I don't know the layout of the playground, but my gut tells me that that "baby" comment was their way to cover their butts.


Because if someone was really watching out -even if they wanted Haley to extricate herself, they would have come close, within view, told the laughing kids to clear off, and let Haley know that they were there, if not talked her through the process.


It's what any normal person would do, right?


So my guess is that they weren't watching, didn't find out about the situation until it was too late, and tried to convince her that they were managing this with "long arms" from the other side of the playground.


Yeah, right.


-Paula

-Paula

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