And so it begins....
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 10-07-2006 - 1:09am |
I imagine many of you have btdt....
So I got the diagnosis on Monday. Wednesday I go to talk to the principal. I tell her that the diagnosis is Asperger's. She says, rather politely, "I don't buy it." She said she didn't 'see it in him'.
I stayed pretty calm - I talked about what the developmental pediatrician and neurological psychologist said and what I see at home. I said that my child is pretty good at 'maintaining' at school, but falls apart when he gets home. I mentioned the three accomodations the pediatrician told me to ask for right away.
To her credit, the principal came around a bit. Still seemed a bit unconvinced and at this point, they are not willing to make further accomodations since my son, so far, has not been a behavior problem. They have already put him in the 'quieter' first grade room. As far as informing my child of changes in advance, 'That shouldn't be a problem. Your child's teacher is rarely out sick.' ??? Riiiigggghhhhttt. They figure since he gets recess during the day that that provides enough of a break. I said I didn't think that was quite what the Dr. had in mind when he suggested breaks for my child - playgrounds are noisy and my kid would have to be dealing with social situations out there, etc. Principal said she could understand that, but didn't want to do a special 'quiet time' break for my son. She also said she only cared about what happened at school - as far as home was concerned, that was my problem.
Well - it was interesting. I need to find out more. I want to find out if I can add to my son's existing IEP - he has one for speech therapy. I have loads of other things to check out now as well..... It was such a struggle to get my kid evaluated, I hadn't thought too much about the work that was to come after!!!

I really wish I could tell you everything is going to be ok, but I can't. I thought once we had the diganosis, next came the IEP and services. How wrong I was! They met with us at my request the first time to tell me that my son qualified for nothing because academically he is above class expectations. So, here is the unfortunate part- we had to resort to taking our son off his ADHD medcine to get anyone to take note. I know that sounds horrible, but it did work so far. We had a child case study meeting since and everyone is in agreement that he needs help. Prior to this they wouldn't evaluate him at all as I requested. I seriously doubt we will get speech therapy as according to his testing with them he is fine. Although that testing doesn't even consider pragmatics. The sad thing about all this is my insurance company is denying claims because they say these services should be provided by the school district. Everything is a battle and I am exhausted every day of the week because it seems I am the only one that actually cares that my son does well.
I am sorry this post is doom and gloom but it is realistic on what to expect. You are now your child's team captain and you will be the sole fighter for him/her.
Melissa
This is one of the main reasons to hire advocates and lawyers. You have to fight fire with fire, and when schools take the laws into their own hands, we have to go after them to get them to comply. A school that claims that a child is not needing services because of strong academic skills is not complying with the law. Speech pragmatics mustr also be tested for and considered.
But there is a reality that constant fighting when one needs to be parenting -- is just overwhelming. We are for the first time considering moving away from our horrible school district, but of course are unsure where we should go!
Not everyone has these types of stories, some school districts are eager to follow the law and educate all the children in their care properly, but sadly the complete opposite is also true. We are currently homeschooling, and will again be looking into private schools, which we may indeed have to sue to have our sd pay for. And yes, it ends up being alot of money that we beg, borrow, etc.
Filing for an impartial hearing when schools refuse testing can often be enough to bring them around, because the school then knows you will not just shut up and go away quietly... You can do this work without a lawyer, although it is alot of work. Once we find a another private school for ds, we (and lawyer, here you need one!) will definitely be filing immediately and not wasting any time.
((((hugs)))) to both of you. Our kids can learn, when they have appropriate supports and teachers who understand and know how to teach them. We find that anxiety stops our child from learning well, so at the moment home scholing is better than an inappropriate placement.
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Well it is true that a medical diagnosis does not automatically mean special education or related services. To qualify for an IEP the child does have to be affected some how educatinally, however, that does not mean they have to be behind in academics. It means that they have to need special education and related services to participate or benfit from the curriculum and educational day (which include recess, lunch, PE, etc)
We had this problem with Mike at first but he had significant behavioral problems. In preschool he was able to access the special needs preschool as a typical peer. Since him they no longer let kids with challenges and no IEP in that program as a typical peer because Mike took a significant amount of thier resources. He should have had an IEP but wasn't cognitively or language delayed. In K and 1 he was very bright. He knew all the K curriculum before starting school but he was a constant challenge and still no IEP until we faught for one and proved how his education was affected, socially and behaviorally mainly, and he then qualified.
Keep notes and records of any or all school troubles he is having. Keep open communication with the teacher so she will tell you on the first sign of any trouble. If he has a medical diagnosis and doesn't need full special education services
Dave is in a similar situation at this point (he is 6 and 1st grade). He is SID adn ADHD pretty significantly. We can't do meds for him because they cause seizures. He is very bright and has been able to hold it together. He has an IEP for speech but for the others thus far we are able to work with within the general education setting. His teacher and I are in communication and we have a plan together for his behavior. If that doesn't work she is going to try some SI modifications for me. Fortunately I can get outside advice and know lots of good stuff myself. If that doesn't work then we will call an IEP and have that added to it.
The behaviors you mention at home are concerning particularly if they are more this year since starting school. You may want to keep track of those as well. Is there a pattern to it and can it relate to school? For instance, does he have more problems on PE day? Can you somehow relate his home troubles to school?
However, if this is his behavior in general at home (which does NOT mean you are a bad parent, my Cait always has melted more at home than school because it is her safe zone) it may be just part of the AS and what needs to be worked on separately. For instance, Cait does have more behavioral troubles at home than school. We have a plan for these and have been working on them over the years and do pretty darn well now. She rarely gives them trouble in school.
However, if Cait is having a rough time in school the meltdowns increase exponentially and the old programs don't work. Then I know to look into what is happening at school. Does that make sense?
I don't want to sound like the downer, check out wrightslaw under eligibility as well. But the fact is that if he is not yet significantly affected educationally he may not require a full IEP.
Renee
Thanks to all for your replies! It helps to know a bit of what might be ahead.
I am glad that my son's special ed preschool teacher fought so hard to keep my son on his Speech IEP. At least he is getting that! His IEP mentions pragmatics, but there are no goals to address that - so I am going to ask about it. The goals are all related to speaking.
Yes, my son is in the situation where there are no problems academically. He is way ahead of his peers in that category. His only school problem is getting to school on time.
The behavior problems at home really started getting much worse at the point my son found out his Dad was engaged to be married. Things have calmed down a lot lately - could be due to the fact that I quit work and I am only going to school part-time, so I have more time and energy to devote to my son. Could be that all my work on helping him deal with all the changes this year related to the remarriage actually helped.
He does still have melt-downs, but the length and frequency have improved a lot during Sept/Oct. I have been trying to keep track of what causes the meltdowns. For the ones that I have some impact on, I am making changes. But there are still times that stuff comes out of the blue.
For awhile, my son was so bored at school, that was the reason he didn't want to go! Thank goodness it is getting more interesting.
Definitely seems like if my son is acting out, there is usually something happening somewhere that seems to be fueling it. My task has been to keep my ears open and talk to my son's teachers, etc., to find out what the cause is.
Thanks again!!! You guys sure help a lot!
Ya know, I also wanted to mention that even without a full IEP there is a level of modification and support kids usually have access too in school. Helps if you have a really great teacher but overall, school are supposed to try some modifications to help a child prior to going the full IEP route.
Just because a child doesn't totally qualify for an IEP doesn't mean they don't have a disability. He still may need a 504 or just modifications in class for now. Heck there is no reason why the modifications the neuro had told you couldn't be implemented within the general ed classroom. i would talk to the teacher about them and see what can be done.
I would also keep a keen eye for any signs of trouble because there is a good chance he will need more IEP support in the future when things get more challenging. If you can keep him on the SLI IEP until then it would really help you.
I know Dave is going to likely need more support eventually. His ST thinks he will graduate from his speech IEP within about a year. I figure by then at the rate things are going, more will be added to his IEP and we will be keeping it for other reasons. I hope not, but realistically I must keep my eyes open and my information current for this just in case.
Renee
While I do have to say that the posters in this thread have great points, I have to back away from all of that and look at what you have done so far.