Anger bubbling up at prior school

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Anger bubbling up at prior school
5
Sun, 04-11-2010 - 11:57am

I have so much built up anger at Liam's past school.

Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Sun, 04-11-2010 - 1:59pm

{{{Molly}}}

You have every right to be angry and there is no time frame on when to release it. The wound is still very fresh. Perhaps your therapist can help you channel some of that angry energy into action. That's always a nice way to resolve it. Use it to accomplish something.

No matter what you decide to do with your anger, we're here to listen. What happened to you and Liam was horrible, there is no doubt about it. Hopefully they learned something from this episode, altho that may be too much to hope for.

Hugs

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Sun, 04-11-2010 - 2:39pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Sun, 04-11-2010 - 3:19pm

Molly, I know exactly how you feel! With what has happened to both of my kids in the last 3 yrs with a couple of schools, the anger has eaten me alive. Everytime I think about how my son was illegially sat on and held in a room for 4 straight hours because some school idiot thought it appropriate to show him whose boss, after giving them report after report from doctors evaluating, treating, medicating and then the idiot says "I think he has ODD". For the Higher ups telling me to my face that they thought my kids issue's were due to emotional disturbance due to parenting.... UGH.

Well it's so very hard to let go. But for once since changing my older son's school, it has been a complete turn around, with very caring people who love him. I may still have to fight for services at times, but I realize it's not this school now fighting it, it's more of a higher up person who is the gatekeeper.

It can turn around with a different environment, different school, different teachers it really can. Chris used to hate school, and while he may never love it, he doesn't hate it anymore.

And my youngest, he is so very happy being homeschooled. This might change next year though as I might try again, but you bet your sweet buttuski he will have the supports he needs or mamabear is just going to keep on homeschooling him.

Anyway, I also have a therapist to help sort out all this anger I have. In fact its the same therapist the boys have but at times I need to take one of their appts just so I myself can cope.

Whewwwww I just re-read and I realize I needed to vent too lol. Hang in there sweetie. You know we all love you!

P.S. the one thing that helped me to feel in control during these hard times was to totally sink my self into education law. This way, when someone lied to me in an IEP meeting (which they have) I can say uhm no I'm sorry, but from what I understand IDEA says.... and it stops them in there track and then they nervously back track what they just said. I'm no expert, but I have had to learn all this stuff as there are simply no paid educational advocates in my area period. Also you would be surprised at how much help you can get just by calling your State Dept of Education for information that can help you. Thats free.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 04-11-2010 - 4:24pm

(((((Molly))))))

You have been through some very tough times recently and your anger is understandable. I can't help but feel angry myself at them that -even now, that school is getting so much of your mental energy, which could be used for other things.

I am glad you are going to see someone to work this through.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Sun, 04-11-2010 - 6:48pm

Hi Molly,

We went through a similar terrible experience with a school, which BTW was supposed to be a specialized school for kids like my DS! I was in a huge rage for such a long time and now over 4 years later I can still get awfully angry. Therapy did help, time helped, venting to friends like at this board helped. I also spent time writing and rewriting a letter to them, one which ultimately I never sent, because I just feel like they won't "hear" it, cuz something there just stinks to the heavens and I am mostly just glad to have my kid out of there. We still get fundraising letters from them with little handwritten notes from the principal asking how Malcolm is doing, and I rip them to little shreds and throw them away. This helps, too. One of these days I will send back a form asking to be removed from their lists. And I tell anyone I meet who is considering sending their child there of our experiences with them, with a strong recommendation that they look elsewhere as long as certain people are in charge of the school.

Anyways, (((((HUGS)))))) to you and just be gentle with yourself, as your recovery will take time.

yours,

Sara