Another -- How long do I let him suffer?
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| Wed, 02-07-2007 - 9:30am |
Ds had another episode in school yesterday (besides PE). I guess he was watching the hamsters in science class just before class started. I girl snuck up on him and "roared" at him to scare him. He screamed, threw his books up in the air, then ran to a corner and curled up in a ball. I was frankly surprised at the dramatics. We jump out and scare each other at home all the time and think its funny. Regardless, he then spent all of science and math class in the spec. ed teachers room.
On the way home from school after I told him he was failing PE, Kyle told me he thinks he's depressed and life has no meaning. :( Does depression in ASD kids look different? Because I know things aren't going well but it wouldn't have occured to me that he was depressed.
I was hoping to give all the new interventions a two week trial but now I don't know I can hold out that long. I don't want to make a rash decision but it kills me to see ds suffer. He was in the office working on his homework. I came in to check on him and he was crying. He said because of how bad school is going.
Samantha

Hello. I am mostly a lurker and have posted only a couple of times since registering.
I just wanted to say that I feel for you both but expecially your ds. Maybe telling him he was failing PE on the way home following a big upset at school was not the best timing you know? (Not being judgemental, cause I sometimes do the same thing).
I trust my ds when he tells me how he feels or when he explains problems he is having in general. I always get both sides when it concerns school, teachers, etc. but always know that there is truth to what he tells me. If it were me, I would trust what he is telling you when he says he is feeling depressed and work at getting him some additional help (maybe seeing a therapist, definitely APE and possibly less mainstream).
Also, what is the deal with the impulsive girl? Does she have issues too? Are they being addressed and have they explained to her that this is not acceptable classroom behavior?
I am not convinced mainstream is the best for a lot of our kids for many reasons. But I am in NYC and mainstream here is especially difficult for our kids. Most ASD kids I know who tried mainstream ended up miserable or leaving mainsream altogether for a number of reasons.
My ds is in a private special ed school and is happy. He enjoys school and has friends. It's not perfect, sometimes not challenging enough and I do wonder whether he would be better served being around typical kids more often but I do not think he would learn anything from them he does not already know from being around friends and family.
Edited 2/7/2007 11:00 am ET by mamabear_nyc
I know my timing wasn't good. I didn't find out about the incident at school untill after I'd already talked to him about PE though, in my defense.
I was wondering myself what was up with the girl. I'll have to ask the science teacher if she had a talk with her.
I wish I had the option of a private school for ds. There aren't any here. I agree with you about mainstreaming. I've always had mixed feelings about it. The problem we have often faced is if he isn't mainstreamed then he's put in a "resource room" for kids with learning disabilities who are behind acedemically. But if this keeps up ds will soon be behind from missing so much class time.
Samantha
(((HUGS))) poor guy!
I'm sure that girl did it to get a kick! I hope the teacher talked to her, but if it's anything like the MS my kids go to they probably didn't. My nt very capable 13yr old dd, has to sit next to a kid who constantly talks or pokes her or writes on her w/ pen or marker. Talks to her, etc. She's asked the teacher numerous times to get "A" to stop and tells the teacher he's throwing pencils at her, etc. but usually the teacher does nothing. The class periods are long, the teachers teach during the first 1/2 and have the kids work on homework partner or group projects during the rest of the time. My DD is very mature and rather particular about getting her work done during that time, but most of the kids find it a time to goof around and play. I know how many MS girls are-- many are all about being silly and drawing attention to themselves-- negative attention is fine and I'm sure that's what she was doing, whether it was proper classroom behavior or not.
It does sound as though he's depressed and a change of scenery might help. I'd hate for him to suffer more in mainstreaming just cause he can do the work academically.
Betsy
oh Samantha my dear, my heart breaks for you and ds.
Debbie,
I haven't called a meeting because I've been in daily contact with them by phone, email, and notes through ds's agenda. They added some interventions and we were trying to see if they worked. Its just been 1 week today since they were added.
This morning I emailed the sped. teacher again and told her how Kyle is feeling. She wrote back about Kyle being overwhelmed because he's behind in math and yada yada yada. Then she said to let her know if we find out what specifically Kyle is depressed about and they'd try to do the same. DUH! So I wrote her back and said Yes, he's overwhelmed. He's melting down every other day, he's behind on work because of it, and he's failing PE. Does there need to be more? I told her if it didn't get lots better really really soon then we needed to make some major changes.
Samantha