Another one

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Another one
10
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 11:20pm

We breed ASDers over here. I swear.

Now I would have posted this on our site, but this SIL has the URL and was really interested in the site. Not for the purposes I am about to mention but just because it if family. So I don't want her reading there.

But yes, we are starting to think another nephew might have "It". I was talking to SIL who is the autistic nephews mom. I will call her J. J tells me she is concerned about another nephew and some of the things the other SIL was telling her as well as some signals when they went to a community christmas event. DH has been mentioning concerns about this nephew as well.

So here we go.

This time the plan is to approach MIL. Since she already has 3 grandchildren with ASD and is actually getting quite versed in all things ASD, she is likely to be the best one to approach this. She also babysits this boy often and likely has the most contact of all of us. Hopefully we can convince her to sit down and talk to the parents.

Besides, I was the one stuck with telling J. J was stuck with telling another nephews mom who has a speech delay (he is 3 and we can barely get them to take him to speech. So far otherwise he seems ok but the older brother is poster child ADHD) so it is someone elses turn.

He isn't severe. He is about 2 1/2, but there is enough there to make us go hmmmmmmmm.

So out of 11 grandchildren so far 1 is kanners HFA, 2 are AS, 1 is ADHD/PDD-NOS, 1 is speech delayed, 2 are challenging but never diagnosed (possibly could be), and now another is definitely something and at least delayed.

We are a genetic MESS over here, lol

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
In reply to: rbear4
Tue, 12-20-2005 - 11:37pm

Renee,

We're in the same boat here. Bunches of sensory stuff, tourettes, Chase of course has AS, Tourettes, SID and maybe OCD and mild anxiety(wonder why). My dd seems to have mild tics and some mild OCD. Numerous nieces and nephews dx ADHD but display tics and ASD symptoms if you ask me. I've always had small tics, anxiety and read very early and am starting to wonder about some PDD...I was very bookish and used to study encylopedias before I started school and could read and write before school but don't really remember how I learned. We're a neurological mess but not bad looking and really nice. Vicky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 12:07am

Awe yeah, well at least they are all cute as heck!

Normal would be boring wouldn't it. I have to wonder though because the one SIL we need to address has been the one most interested in learning about my kids and she is always asking me questions about APOV. Maybe she has some clues already.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
In reply to: rbear4
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 8:32am
I think most moms have big clues but don't want to take that leap. Then there's my brother who is such a clear case of at least PDD-NOS but thinks because he is finally social at 43 things will work out for most people with ASD's(not that he has one or that they exist, LOL). He thinks, and may be correct, that it's all a part of normal, just different types of people in the world. The only problem with that assumption is that Chase's type of normal would have been institutionalized 20 years ago. BTW, my brother is gorgeous and has gotten away with lots of anti-social behavior because of it so cute can go a long way. Vicky
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 9:43am

>>We're a neurological mess but not bad looking and really nice.<<

ROFL

Well there you go! "neurological mess but really nice" goes a lot further with me than "clever but nasty NT"

the important stuff is there...

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
In reply to: rbear4
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 10:18am

I hope your SIL in open enough to take some input.

As for the genetic mess, that is a much nicer way of rephrasing my explaination of my family. I've always said we are sishing from a shallow gene pool.

DH's aunt has schizophrenia. My half brother has Down's Syndrome. DS#1 has AS. My uncle's son is classically Autistic. I have many sensory issues and could probably be classified as AS. My other half brother is a classic case of ADHD. My bio father is ADHD and Dyslexic.

Yep, we too are a mess. But like you said, good people.

But, as my Granny always says, God will not give us more that we can handle.

And our families are all ours. Quirks and all. And those quirks make us all that much more special and valuable.

Crystal

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
In reply to: rbear4
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 10:31am

I'm in the other boat. Between my 2 sister's kids and dh's 2 bros and 1 sis's kids.. (12 total), Ryan is the only one who receives services, has a dx, and has an IEP. I feel kind of lonely and a little sad about it when we all get together at the holidays. Do I think there are other family members/kids with issues, definitely YES, but they'd never admit it. My family is ok, but not too many open minds on dh's side.

Also, if the kids fight everyone sort of assumes that it had something that to do with Ryan.. couldn't possibly be the "clever but nasty NT" kids! Can you tell how much I'm looking forward to getting together at the holidays.

Kate

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
In reply to: rbear4
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 12:15pm

I'm also in the other boat, only super brilliant, overachieving, socially well-adapted children everywhere else... although there are NO children on my husband's side of the family, only old people. I see lots of ASD "Echos" throughout the behavior of family members on both sides, but Malcolm is the one and only actual ASD dx.

We do run into a little trouble with misinterpretation of Malcolm's actions at family gatherings, esp. because we are never much around family so they "understand" but really don't get him. I get a little exhausted from explaining. Fortunately I have a sister who is a third/fourth grade teacher, several IEP kids in her class and loads of experience and she is just terrific with him (and ALL children, actually). And everyone loves Malcolm to pieces and is so happy just to see us that they cut us lots of slack, even if they get confused by him occasionally.

As Malcolm just adores his cousins, he always wants to be with them every second we are visiting. It's my dh who gets wiped out by too many hours of my boistrous, fun-loving family, but I have been known to use "sensory overload" and citing Malcolm as why we are cutting out early. (Well, it IS sensory overload, just the taller, older guy LOL)

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 12:41pm

I'm in a similar boat with Kate.....and not looking forward to holiday visiting with DH's side either....just too many PERFECT (yeah right) children on his side.

Christie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
In reply to: rbear4
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 4:46pm

Well, Nathan is the only one on the spectrum....on both sides of the family. So far, at least. My 4yr old nephew is showing alot of tendencies...but nothing for sure yet.

My boys are the young ones on dh's side....youngest cousin is in high school. They're all great with my boys too. But no one really talks about Nathan and his issues. They act like they "know" him...but they really don't. I'm always having to step in, because Nathan doesn't have a clue what they're trying to say to him. And they still don't get it!! I'm not quite sure yet if it just makes them uncomfortable or what. I'm real open about everything, so they know they can ask. Sometimes I'll get a question....but they whisper...like it's a secret!!! LOL

I don't really see my family during the holidays (don't like my stepdad..long story). My real dad passed away in 93. My sister lives in Seattle, and my brother (and his family) usually spend it with my mom. My brother has a 4yr old son and a 2yr old daughter. His son is the one that we're concerned about right now. But, he and his wife are having some difficulties.....so they're dealing with that right now. He's getting speech right now and is in a special preschool. His speech is coming along, no more babbling.....but tons of echolalia. And I'm told that he does alot of parallel play at school too. But I'm waiting to see how it turns out.

michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 4:49pm

Hi Renee,