Anyone had luck with a psychologist/therpist?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2002
Anyone had luck with a psychologist/therpist?
Mon, 04-25-2011 - 12:56pm

I am at the end of my rope. My 8yo DS has PDD-NOS and lately he has been so hostile and defiant and mouthy. It's impossible to reason with him or calm him down once he gets going and the smallest things set him off. One minute he's as sweet as can be and the next he's screaming, throwing things, calling me names, etc. And he does whenever and whereever the mood hits him - at home, at a crowded grocery store, the park, the doctor's office, etc. I spent about an hour yesterday sitting on my SIL's porch swing in 40-degree weather with no coat crying because I just hit my limit with him after he blew up because we told him he couldn't have dessert since he didn't touch his dinner. DH lost it and was yelling at him and telling everybody DS needs a good butt whooping. I know he was embarrassed that his child was yelling at him and calling him names in front of everyone but his reaction was not much better. I just can't do it anymore. We've tried timeouts, sending him to his room, taking away toys and priviledges, rewarding good behavior - nothing works. I realize that all of this comes with his disorder and what works with typical kids may not work with him. DH doesn't buy into any of that and thinks he's just spoiled and needs harder discipline.

I've visited with his dev. ped. and he's maxed out on his Strattera (can't do stimulants) and Celexa. We tried Tenex and it made him wet the bed. The fact that he behaves well at school (sometimes is ornery but never hostile or tempermental), suggests to the dev. ped. that it's all a "parenting issue" - I read that as him suggesting I'm just not handing things correctly. We took him to a behavioral psych. years ago when he was first diagnosed and it was worthless - she gave us all the tips you'd give for typically developing kids and none of them worked.

My question for all of you is, have any of you found a psychologist/therapist/shrink or something similar for behavioral issues that was actually useful? DH is putting his foot down on even looking into it because of our previous experience but I'm desperate. I can't take much more of this. We don't go out in public and now I'm getting reluctant to even take him to family events because he just ruins it for everybody. And if he's this bad now, what will happen when those teen hormones kick in? I don't want to see him end up in legal trouble.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!




iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 8:25pm

Definitely call the elementary school your son will attend and ask for a referral to a psychologist. Your son absolutely needs to be tested. Please tell your DH that medication, when necessary, does not turn people into robots. I took Ritalin for years as a child and teen (I was actually in the trials for it in the early 70s), then took Xanax as an adult. Both of my children are on psych meds. None of us have ever been "controlled" by meds.

A person who receives chemotherapy for cancer is not controlled by meds. Nor is your husband when he takes Advil or whatever for a headache. Neurological and psychiatric disorders are physical disorders every bit as much as cancer. Just because we don't fully understand them and don't know why the meds work doesn't mean they're not real.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2007
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 11:19pm
My DD is only 3 but we took her to a psych before anything else thinking she "just" had OCD. The reason I am writing this is just to empathize with you about these shrinks ridiculous thinking that our ASD kids can handle the same disciplinary approaches as "regular" kids! How do they get these degrees without learning this stuff?! Delaney spent an entire HALF a session throwing a fit which turned into beign about her eyes needing wiped and her nose being blown (and she was ONLY 2 for pete's sake!!!). So glad I paid for that, thanks.