argh shoe rant!!!
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| Thu, 01-10-2008 - 6:30pm |
I'm sorry to rant here, but this is about the only place I know where people will 'get' this!!
Took DS (9, Asperger's) shoe shopping for new school shoes. Thought we had finally found a decent shoe shop after they took huge trouble with him, bringing out about 12 different pairs til we found one that didn't feel 'wierd', and even cutting a half insole specially for one of them because it felt 'wierder' than the other. We chose a pair that was a little stiff, but I thought, naively, that having been through all the other pairs that DS would be able to cope.....
No.
Today he asks me, in tears, where his old shoes are because these new ones 'rub'. I think they are a little stiff at the back, but I can't see anywhere where they rub...and besides, stupidly, after he walked home in them from the shop I threw the old pair away.
So now I am not sure whether to return them - and I don't think they will even take them back seeing as he's worn them outside - or try to persuade him to 'wear them in' until they stop feeling 'wierd', and hope that in the meantime he doesn't get into trouble at school for wearing non-uniform shoes (they have school uniform here and DS gets very upset if any aspect of it is wrong). I remember hating having to 'break' in school shoes as a kid too, but it's obviously far worse for DS with his sensory issues.
Have I mentioned how much I *hate* shoe shopping!!! argh!! And it isn't helped by the fact that DS2 would happily wear wellies on the wrong feet if I let him and is very contemptuous of DS1's sensibilities in this area LOL
Kirsty, mum to Euan (9, Asperger's), Rohan (4, NT) and Maeve (2, NT)

Oh man this is a hard one.
Kirsty!
How many of you are there? Didn't you post under a different ID the other day or
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Unfortunately, we have the same issue here. Time after time Liam (hf autie, 7) )SWEARS the shoes feel fine and the next day it's melt down city. In fact he will only wear a specific pair of pull on sketchers (no velcro, no ties) and crocs that are a size too small (he likes the huggy feel on his foot.)
Cian (aspie 4) also only likes crocs, which is why I adore mammoth crocs (sheepskin liners) for the winter. I dread the day they discontinue crocs or the sketchers model.
Dee
I wish I had some advice for you.
Same problem here with Miss Cait with shoes AND clothes. Finally about a year or 2 ago she discovered Vans sneakers at school and loved the patterns. She even wanted to spend her own money on them. That kind of fixed it, there are still shoes I have bought recently that go unworn for the exact same reason as you have but she is my size now so if she doesn't like them then I get new shoes. I have a much better shoe wardrobe now than ever before.
It drives me crazy but once something feels all wrong to her there is no getting it back on her again usually. If I can't return it, I either donate it and write it off on taxes, save it for her sister or take the shoes for myself.
I have gotten really good at figuring out typically what she will wear and just try to stay within those guidelines.I don't buy her shoes anymore. She gets her own, lol. There is the occasional snaffu. The pants that smell weird or have one scratchy seam, but other wise I probably hit about 66-75% correct these days.
It drives my DH batty because we don't have a lot of extra funds to spend on the kids and hate wasting money so typically with clothes I really try to save the tags and receipts until I know it is going to be an OK buy.
Renee
editted to add-
What kind of shoes did he have before? Does he like loose or tight type shoes? Sneakers or sandals? If you give me some ideas on what he has worn more easily I may be able to come up with some good ideas of where to get the right kind of shoes. I have searched far and wide and have found that Vans style (canvas but sturdy) works best for Cait. Dave is also bad with shoes and I find that if I get him a size too big then he usually does better.
Edited 1/10/2008 10:46 pm ET by rbear4
Oh hush Dee! They will NEVER discontinue Sketchers pull ons with the elastic tops. BOTH my kids have two pairs.. a pair that fits and one that's the next size up. This is how we get around the show aspect. Sometimes shoes fit, but when we get them home, they are too loose/tight. When this happens, you have the spare pair.... catch is all 2 or 3 pairs MUST be the same pattern. It's a bit easier with Bryanna because 1.) She's my NT 2.) She's a girl and 3.) She's a fashion diva. With Vic tho they must all be black with silver lining.
Paula - hi, yes, I did post under Kirsty1. My PC at work had a meltdown and wouldn't let me do anything so I had to rejon ivillage, but I've just realised that when I post from home it will still be under the old name. I'll try to remember to fix that...!
We have, after some protacted negotiation, agreed that he will wear the shoes for short periods over the weekend to break them in (this is all you can do with stiff shoes, as I remember, and in any case is all you can do with sensory-sensitive Aspies anyway - another 'new' pair would have exactly the same problem), and in the meantime wear his winter boots to school - luckily, it *is* winter, plus the school are absolutely fine with him wearing different shoes (it his *him* that's the stickler for rules, they are far better at accommodating his quirks than he is!). I'm so glad he grows fairly slowly and this is a once-a-year drama at most, because this morning the Sock Issue started again (socks feeling wierd...) - I, stupidly, bought him 'days of the week' socks last year. Never, ever do this with an Aspie. We have a Krakatoan-level meltdown if he can't find the right day....I am now, as I type, ordering two packs of *identical* school socks without coloured seams, heels or days, so that a) I can use the 'school rules' argument to get him dressed and b) when we lose one we can pair it up - no, scrub that, *I* can pair it up with a rogue partner from the laundry gods...you know, the ones that steal individual socks for a laugh.
I wouldn't mind *so* much except that we are back to school/daycare this week, and his little sister - who is *just* 2, and as far as we can tell NT - has recently decided to get picky about clothes. Her language skills are good for
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