Aspeger's in Adults
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 05-13-2006 - 5:44pm |
I know we want to be optimistic about the quality of life in our kids when they're grown, and maybe I just need to pray that my children don't end up married to people like me (short on patience), but I'm feeling rather negative right now about my kids' future when I look at my experience with dh who has the same disorder/problems as my kids. I feel like I end up parenting dh more than having a spousal relationship. He just has no logical ability, and it drives me insane, esp when the kids are having bad days, too. For instance, two of the kids and dh woke up with a stomach bug. When the phone rang today, dh could tell it was for him. He could also tell he was about to vomit. However, the phone was ringing, and it was for him, so he HAD to answer it. He answered the phone, vomited all over the kitchen, hung up, then went running toward the bathroom, vomiting all the way. He was almost to the bathroom when he realized he could have just gone out the back door which was open. So, he runs back through the house, vomiting all the way, runs outside, and stops in the middle of the patio to vomit. I tell him to move off to the side, so he moves to the middle of the lawn where all the kids play to vomit some more. (And it didn't help that the dog followed him around trying to eat it all.) Of course, although dh is willing to clean up the mess, he does a horrible job. He doesn't see most of the mess, he smears what he does see, etc. He's a well-intended guy and a nice soul, but it's like living with an oversized child rather than a husband, and he often IS more work than the kids. I wish today were just one of those fluke bad days, but unfortunately this is par for the course. Aaaauuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhhh! I just really, really, really hope my kids end up with better abilities 'cus otherwise I'm gonna be 70, and I'll still have the kids and dh living with me, slowly (rapidly) putting me in the loony bin!

I hear ya, but if you consider that your DH probably got no help as a child, but is still pretty functional in the world, then how much more functional will "our" kids be, having been identified early and now receiving help, learning skills and coping strategies?
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com