asperger's and aggression

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
asperger's and aggression
6
Tue, 10-17-2006 - 9:04am
(deleted, doesn't seem like anyone else here is having this problem)


Edited 10/17/2006 4:17 pm ET by fivesense
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 10-17-2006 - 9:14pm
hummm.aggression is one of my sons biggest problems......what was the question/
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 7:37pm

Mine too! I've often felt that many people just don't understand what I go through, even other families with Aspies. We struggle with aggression on a daily basis, most of it directed toward my other DS(NT). I know there are at least a few of us here who deal with this issue.

Please ask your question!

Melissa
DS (8) AS, DS (5.5), DD (2), DD (8 mo)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 10:27pm

Oh, I didn't post a question. I did post about one huge meltdown at home. It just upset me so much. I got to thinking...what if he never gets control over himself?? Plus, he's having ongoing problems at school with aggression.

Changing gears a bit. I did read a study that said that mothers experience more anxiety and fear over the future as it concerns their children on the spectrum, than fathers experience. My DS had a bad scene, but I worried too much about it. I need to take it one day at a time.

I found a book on aggression and asperger's. I haven't ordered it yet, but I will.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 10:51pm

I'd like to know what book that is. I've been drowning myself in literature lately. I get most of my stuff through inter-library loan to save $, then buy something that I think would be helpful to have at home. The last thing I read was "The Explosive Child" - it was very good - gave me a better perspective on why DS may react the way he does, and some tools/techniques to use.

I'm sorry to hear that your DS is having so much trouble with aggression at school. That has to be hard on both of you. Does he have an IEP and a behavior plan? How old is he? Mine is 8 and in the second grade. He's in a self-contained class for half days and mainstreamed for the other half. This year has been pretty good so far... like I said, his major issues happen more at home now. Before this current setting was in place, he was not functioning AT ALL in the ms class. The school was going so far as to say they didn't think they had an appropriate placement in district for him (and they doubted the diagnosis because 'none of our other AS students are aggressive').

Anyway, I want you to know you're not alone.

Melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 10:33am

Wow, Melissa, thanks for your post. The school district is telling me the same thing. They said that most AS kids are not aggressive, just odd. YEAH, they really said that!!! My DS is not functioning at all at school this year. I know he is in the wrong placement, but I disagree about where the county wants to place him. So, I meet with an advocate/attorney tomorrow to fight the good fight.

Here's the book that I'm ordering "Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments: Practical Solutions for Tantrums, Rage, and Meltdowns" by Brenda Smith Myles, Jack Southwick, Jack Southwick. I can't vouch for it because I haven't received it yet.

I had heard of the Explosive Child, but never read it. I will check it out.

Avatar for bright_star
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 8:04pm

We also have difficulties with agression at school. At least with DS's current placement, his teacher usually recognizes what is a knee-jerk reaction (elbowing someone who jostles him in line) verses truly aggressive behavior (hitting another kid with a backpack, etc.)

I second the recommendation for the Explosive Child. The idea is that you decide whether it's worth pushing an issue with your child by putting the issues in baskets. For example, your kid doesn't want to wear gloves even though it's 20 degrees outside. Probably not worth fighting over and causing a melt-down. However, safety issues must always be followed.

I also have the other book, Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments. I had to dig it out because I didn't remember it as well. Paging through it, it seems more academic in tone.

Good luck with getting the placement your son needs!

Misty