B-Day party experience
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| Sun, 01-22-2006 - 12:39am |
I mentioned a while back that David had been invited to a sleep-over party with a bunch of 2nd graders. Well, we decided it would be best if he went for pizza and cake, then came home. When we got there, everyone was already there and it was pretty raucous and noisy. Everyone was shouting, and the tv was on with some kind of video game, which is something totally foreign to David. He couldn't say if he wanted to stay or not, so I said I'd come back in half an hour. There was a small dog there, and David is REALLY afraid of dogs, so that kind of freaked him out, but the parents were very good about keeping the dog outside (or inside when the kids went onto the patio.)
I came back after a half hour and we stuck around for a few party games and birthday cake. I often wonder just how "autistic" David is, because mostly I see him when he's at home playing Legos. Well, in the midst of all the balloon popping, shouting, noise-makering, etc., David just stood on the sidelines and seemed baffled. This didn't surprise me or sadden me...I am really the same way, to an extent. But it was clear that he was the different one. But none of the other kids seemed to notice or mind. When he was given cake, he didn't know what to do, because there was no place to sit and he was given a spoon instead of a fork. I was there, so I was able to point out that another kid was sitting "criss-cross applesauce" on the floor with the cake on the floor in front of him, but if I hadn't been there, I bet he'd still be standing there wondering how to eat the cake. (Actually, the parents were pretty attentive to him, and I'm sure they would have noticed and helped him.) It kind of seemed weird how all the other kids seemed to instinctively know that it was okay to sit on the floor. LOL!
It kind of amazed me how all the other kids seemed to be able to follow what was going on, because it was a pretty fast-paced, all-talk-at-once kind of party. They were all shouting at once when all of a sudden the kids all starting going, "Yeah!!! High School Dance!!!" (or something like that) They all seemed to be familiar with some tv show and to understand that it was on at that moment. The tv was turned on and they all shouted, "That's 'Cops!'" David just worked on his cake. We watch tv for like an hour a week, if that, and even then it's "Rubba Dubbers" or something. I shouldn't have been surprised that eight 2nd graders immediately knew "Cops" the instant they saw it, but I was secretly proud and happy that mine did NOT. LOL! For us, even without ever turning on the television, there is simply not enough hours in the day. Anyway, once David finished his cake, we were out of there. The kids all said good-bye (although David just kind of squinted his eyes at everyone, as if to say, "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, but it sure is weird that you all want to stay here watching some dumb tv show.")
He kind of enjoyed the party, in a way. He didn't participate in most of the games, but he did hit the pinata. Oh, that's another thing, as far as I could tell, every other kid has been swinging baseball bats since they were born. His swing was much weaker than the other kids, by far. But the dad said, "Good job, David." When some of the other boys hit it, much harder, the dad jokingly said things like, "Oh, you hit like a two-year-old!" (which was fine, because it was clearly not true.) David is doesn't care one iota about sports, so I don't think he knows or cares how he compares to other kids in that area. According to the mom, he even got a chance to go upstairs and play with some Legos, so he was "in his element" for a bit. He says the only thing that he didn't like was "that bloody, crappy dog." We've got to work on that fear. (And that language :) )
So, this evening kind of reconfirmed that he *is* on the spectrum...and also that I love him just that way. I *like* the way he prefers a quiet evening of Legos, and one person talking at a time, and no television.
Well, that's enough birthday party for a while, I think.
Evelyn, mom of David (8, AS BP-nos), and Nathan (4)

Evelyn,
Thanks for sharing that story - WOW, that sounds so much like Alex. Seeing our kids in a social situation is a real eye-opener sometimes. We're the same as far as TV in our house. Alex never watches TV on his own (he'll be in the room with me when I have it on; stuff like HGTV and TLC shows).
Gotta go get ready for church, or I'd write more!
Laurie
Laurie
It's funny to hear your experience, as Liam is that rare exception being very extroverted and AS, (is also bp nos).
Evelyn,
I just wanted to let you know that Nathan would've acted the same way as David did. Nathan is also terrified of dogs....so bad that he probably wouldn't have even stayed there at the party. He doesn't always participate in games either...but does love the pinata. He also would've been baffled being given a spoon for cake, and having nowhere to sit.
Nathan does have an ability to "watch" others and copy what they are doing though. So he would've sat down on the floor after watching everyone else do it. But the spoon/fork thing....I would've had to explain that one.
Tyler is 9, and he doesn't know the "Cops" show either. I think dh may have had the show on a couple of times in the presence of the boys...but that's it. I don't like my boys watching things with too much violence/nudity/sex ....that kind of stuff. My boys prefer cartoons, car chases, and anything funny (physical comedy!). It's alot for an NT child to understand at times, let alone an autistic child.
michelle
Malcolm is ALSO afraid of dogs, although he has gotten to know and love some. And he desparately wants one, sadly his dad is very allergic. He had a very bad experience with a dog several years back, also little dogs yipping is a terrible sensory invasion for him. But he would have stayed if the parents were gracious enough to keep dog away. Or if the dog was actually friendly and he got to know him.
Parties is something we have slowly desensitized Malcolm to participating in, also, many of Malcolm's pal are also sensory kids so they often have parties where the activity is ... gymnastics, bowling or swimming, focused physical activities. Sometimes museum parties for some of the more Asberger's kids, I still laugh at the Coney Island Aquarium party where half the 8 year old guests were constantly CORRECTING the curator leading the party... bet she went home and studied more.
It does sound like the party went OK for David, yes? And if he likes these boys, he might want to go again sometimes if the experience wasn't too overwhelming for him.
Physical comedy, yes! My boy and his buddy are watching "Tom and Jerry" video and laughing loudly as I write!
yours,
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Sara,
Your mention of Tom and Jerry reminded me - Alex also LOVES Tom and Jerry. He'll never ask to watch TV (and I don't usually offer it), but for some reason he caught on to T&J a few years ago. He laughs hysterically when he sees it. I even got him a T&J DVD that I'll put on for him if he says he bored and I need to get something else done.
Laurie
Laurie
Wow! that's the kind of party my kids will never have cause I just can't deal w/ it! I'm glad David did ok and he tolerated the whole evening! and I'm w/ you, I prefer that my kids don't want to be that rambuctious and talk all the time!
Betsy