Back to the preschool question...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2006
Back to the preschool question...
Sun, 02-06-2011 - 12:03am
I'm a stay at home mom who plans to homeschool my possible ASD child. DS is currently struggling socially in preschool, lots of aggression and anger; I initially put him in preschool for social exposure but he obviously can't handle it. Does it make sense for an ASD child to be forced to socialize? We are in an area that has many activities we can participate in where I would be with him and model appropriate behavior. Is this a better idea than forcing preschool?
Thanks for any help, I'm feeling overwhelmed by trying to do the right thing for my baby.
Avatar for frog726
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 03-05-2012 - 7:24pm

I'm sorry to bump this up, as I'm new to this board, but I had to respond (it's an ADD thing ;)

I teach preschool, the 3 year old class.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 8:56am

If your child is not going to get extra, structured help with social skills, then preschool will not teach those skills, and it will probably be very stressful for them and you. But in the longer term it is going to be very hard for you teach him the social skills he needs if you are homeschooling without help with this from an ASD specialist. You will know him too well, and he's not going to learn how to cope without you there: ASD children do not easily learn these skills, even with structured social scaffolding, just through exposure to social situations the way NT kids do. And his needs and skills will change with age, and you can't really tell at this age what he'll be like or need at age 5, 7, high school etc. But given that Scandinavian kids do not really enter formal schooling until age 7 and still manage to outperform American kids academically at age 10, the value of formal schooling at an early age is probably overstated...

I wouldn't leave it though - life skills are not just about the academic skills, which he'll probably get better at home, but also about social and emotional development. The real world is a pretty harsh, unforgiving place for ASD kids and adults, and it's even worse if they haven't had proper, structured support in developing some of the skills they'll need to cope.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2006
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 1:03pm

Thank you both for your thoughtful responses! My son is 3 and he is NOT being helped in his current preschool. One of his teachers negatively described him as "trying to herd a cat". I've already decided to pull him out as soon as I have a better option; whether that be another school or out completely is still being considered.

Avatar for skystrider
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-1999
Sun, 02-06-2011 - 8:58am

I have to say I have BTDT.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Sun, 02-06-2011 - 12:38am
How old is he? I say do what feels right to you. Preschool is great if they're helping him with social issues, and I mean really helping him, otherwise you may see he's getting worse. That's what happened to my son. Things got so bad, we took him out of school for a couple years, and he's back in now doing okay. I remember that age for my son and it was hard. Good luck!