Bad Bad Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Bad Bad Day
5
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 12:01pm

Yesterday was one of those days that I wonder why God chose me to raise this child.

Background: DS (AS) is in a social skills summer program at school. He absolutely hates it and comes home every day angry and/or defeated. They give him behavior reports every day and in three weeks he's had maybe 3 good days. I don't feel they know how to handle him and treat him as a behavior problem rather than a child with a neurological impairment. This placement happened as a result of the district feeling that his previous summer program was causing him to regress (different philosophy - Greenspan DIR). Well, obviously this one isn't working out so well either. At least last summer he was HAPPY.

Anyway, since he's been at summer school, he's been awful at home. The raging is out of control some days. Yesterday was one of those days. This time I wasn't prepared to handle it like an adult. DH is away on business. I'm stressed and short tempered myself. We ended up in a screaming match (over something seemingly insignificant), which caused him to completely lose it. I had to physically restrain him (he's a very strong 8 year old) to keep him from running away. I was afraid for his safety if he got out. He ended up in his room, slamming toys into walls and screaming "You will pay! I'm going to get my revenge!, etc."

We have an Rx for Risperdal. DH is still not in agreement about starting him on it. I emailed him at his lovely hotel half way across the country and told him that if we weren't putting him on Risperdal, we had to find something else - NOW. Don't get me wrong - DH is very supportive and knows it's time to get some help. He's just very cautious about starting a drug that is so new and 'strong' (based on it's typical use for psychotic patients).

Thanks for letting me vent.

Melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: huhnpm
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 2:35pm

Hi Sweetie, wow what a bad day you had! I sure hope today is better.

My son is on Risperadal and I was just as nervous as you and your husband were. But I finally gave in when I realized he's 11, and getting bigger, and if I don't do something about it now, he may end up being a jailed teenager someday.

It worked, like overnight. It's so nice not to get beat up anymore, to enjoy my son and not worry about the rages, ect.

Good luck with your decision :).

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-1998
In reply to: huhnpm
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 3:00pm

Risperdal introduced me to the wonderful child who was underneath the raging, angry, violent, volatile child that Chris was from age 3 to 6. It doesn't work for everyone, but it was a life-changer and life-saver for us.

Chris is now 14 and off all meds for the first time in 8 years, but in those eight years he learned techniques and support strategies that eventually allowed us to back him off his various meds little by little over the past two years.

Elizabeth

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: huhnpm
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 3:17pm

(((((((Melissa))))))),


This is going to sound more harsh that I mean it to: But I wonder if you DH had a few of those days alone with DS, if he would still be so hesitant to discuss medication.


How's about you take off for a weekend andf see how he feels about it on Sunday night?


-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
In reply to: huhnpm
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 3:34pm
hi melissa,
i have to agree with paula.my dh doesn't agree with meds but he's not the one who has to listen to the teachers every night,have to leave work early constantly,or have to explain to other parents.dh is a great dad but it's doesn't effect daily life like it does with so many mums.role reversal could be an eye opener.
yvonne xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
In reply to: huhnpm
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 10:03pm

Thanks for your messages, ladies.

Elizabeth and Lainie: your words of encouragement are much appreciated. I know there is a beautiful, charming, funny, good hearted little boy underneith this angry explosive child. More than anything I want HIM to feel good about himself and more in control. We've always said that meds would be the last resort... I think we're there. It's such a hard step to take though.

Paula and Yvonne: I hear you about letting DH have time alone with the kids. He actually is very good about giving me time for me when I get overwhelmed. He encourages it. On very rare occasions he has taken care of all four kids for the weekend (calling on Gramma for help, of course). Part of his reluctance to medicate stems from guilt that we can't do more for DS, and the stigma of having a child on meds (pride). I know he needs to get over this and do what's best for DS. It's just so hard to accept that your child needs meds in order to cope with the world. Feels like a personal failure as a parent.

Melissa