bad, bad morning

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
bad, bad morning
9
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 8:55am

Sometimes I really feel like I am the worst mother on the planet, and I just don't deserve my kids. This morning I woke up really tired and not feeling that great, plus I'm premenstrual and my mood swings have been getting much, much worse. I'm also really concerned about Sylvia -- she has a stubborn patch of what the doctor says is exczema on her arm, but it hasn't responded to two different prescriptions and now it's spread literally all up and down her entire arm, with 5 new distinct patches forming on that same arm, and one new patch on her side. So I have to call a specialist this morning -- as if Sylvia isn't going through enough, now she has to see yet ANOTHER specialist. So anyway, I have no idea how to cope with all this stress, and it bubbled over this morning. Sylvia woke up super tired -- her sleep schedules are still messed up from her being sick last week, and she ended up taking a nap yesterday afternoon, as a result of which she didn't fall asleep until close to 10pm last night, as a result of which she's a mess this morning. So she spent the morning screaming and crying about various things, refusing to eat and then being upset that there wasn't enough time for her to *finish* eating once she finally started. She was also refusing to drink anything. Under the best of circumstances it's tough for me to remain entirely calm and collected when I'm trying to get her ready in time to catch the bus, but this morning I was just really grumpy and curt with her, not showing a lot of sympathy and basically making things much, much worse than they had to be. So, to make a long story even longer, she was still crying hysterically when she got on the bus. She's NEVER done this before... Sometimes she's really upset over various things in the morning but she's always calmed down by the time the bus arrives. But today she was still crying, pushed me away when I tried to kiss her goodbye, and as she's climbing on the bus I can hear her saying, "Water! Water!" because she didn't drink anything this morning.

So now, my other child is paying the price for all this as I sit here unable to stop crying, unable to play with him or calm myself down. My OB told me that, since daily exercise and calcium/magnesium supplements haven't been able to stem my PMS mood swings, the only option left is Prozac, which scares me to death but after this morning I don't know what else to do.

It really kills me that Sylvia got on the bus this morning crying... I honestly just hate myself this morning.

Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2001
In reply to: jenny406
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 9:52am
((((Hugs))))) you are not the worse mother on the planet!!

 


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Avatar for manda28
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: jenny406
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 10:21am

Hi, Jennifer.
We have our share of bad mornings here too. I lose my cool sometimes and it is just a rough start for all of us.

I take Zoloft for depression/anxiety. It is marketed for both, and I believe it is also marketed for PMS. I got it at my well-woman exam in November, after describing the stress I feel over my son and my husband working so much and dealing with it alone. I also happen to have worsening PMS mood swings the past couple of years, since the birth of my daughter in 2003. The doctor said Zoloft would help PMS too. I take a low dose. Normal dose is 50-100 mg. I take 25 mg and it has definitely helped the PMS. My periods are irregular, so the only warning I get it is coming is moodiness. This time I had zero moodiness. I have also had no bad side effects from the Zoloft.

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2001
In reply to: jenny406
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 12:56pm
Zoloft is the drug I was trying to think of.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jenny406
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 1:21pm

jennifer,

we have had this conversation many, many times here. in fact, two years ago it was me in your shoes. many of us moms end up with depression because there is so much stress in our lives. it doesn't make us bad people. taking meds doesn't make you weak. i can finally say that--because i use to think that if i took meds to help me, i was weak in a way. then i decided that i did need the help. managing little kids, and autism, and a house, and a marriage, and so on is A LOT!! i personally got to a point where i missed being happy. i wanted my kids to see me happy and to enjoy their mom.

i'm not saying that this is where you are at. i certainly have no way of knowing. everyone has bad days, and that does not make you a bad person!! however, there is nothing wrong with accepting a little help. and "it" did help me. i didn't have to be on it forever. in fact, i just had to start it up again a few weeks ago because of new problems that started with dh. just my 2cents. valerie

~Valerie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
In reply to: jenny406
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 2:34pm

Jennifer,

I'm sorry you had such a bad morning. I've had those days too. When Nathan was younger and just dx'd, there were many days that I just felt helpless.

I agree with the other moms here. It's so common for us to have meltdowns of our own. We have alot on our shoulders. I'm also on antidepressants, since Nathan was 3. I didn't have a great childhood, so some of the reasons I take the meds are not just because of current issues. But if find yourself having trouble being sad all the time, unable to control your anger, anxiety, sadness.....it might be a good idea to see a doctor and see what can be done to help you.

Big hugs!!

michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: jenny406
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 1:52pm

Thanks to all of you... Your responses mean more than I can say. I am going to call my OB to talk about the possibility of starting Zoloft. It seems like it's time.

I'm feeling much better today (I guess that's the "swing" in "mood swing") and I feel a bit more able to take things in stride. But, as DH said to me last night, it's gotten to the point where my mood swings are really changing my personality for a solid 10 days each month, and that's just not good.

Anyway, thanks for helping me get up the courage to talk to my doc...

Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2005
In reply to: jenny406
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 3:00pm

Hey Jennifer,


Have you thought of lexapro.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2005
In reply to: jenny406
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 3:29pm
Jennifer,
I have really bad mood swings and depression for at least 10 days before my period and for the first couple of days during. I used to think pms was a joke until I had Ella but since then I'm a hormonal basketcase for two weeks every month. Last august I went to see my GP and she prescribed serafem that I have to take for 2 weeks every month. It's a low dose anti-depressant(10mg). I just told DH to fill it this morning because the mood swings were just getting out of control and I was just biting the head of DH and kids every month. I don't know why I haven't filled the prescription until now but reading your post just gave me the push I needed, so thanks! I guess I just have this idea I can do it on my own but when I realised that for 2 weeks out of every month I was just miserable it's just not worth trying to tough it out.
Teresa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: jenny406
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 4:58pm

I think I've heard of both lexapro and serafem, but had no clue what they were for. I'll bring a list of things to discuss when I see my doc, and hopefully we'll be able to sort out the best option for me. That's interesting about the fish oil. I do take a fish oil capsule every day, but it's a pretty low dose (the bottle suggests 2 capsules twice a day, and I only take one capsule a day). This is something I've never really learned anything about -- I think I'm very similar to you, Teresa, I think I should be able to handle it on my own. But obviously I do need a little bit of help...

Jennifer