Bad day!
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| Mon, 05-22-2006 - 5:15pm |
I have posted a few times, and wasn't really sure where to post but I just need some reassurance. I had thought about posting on the problems at school board but my DS has aspergers and I figured I would get more advice here :) He's in the 6th grade, and came home today upset because he got into trouble and got written up. being the way that he is he is prone to meltdowns and gets easily frustrated as we all know about.
Well today he was in art class and they were separated into small groups (they are suppsed to know how hard that is for him) so the kids were all fighting in the group and yelling at nathan for not participating in whatever project so he decided to leave art class and go back to his homeroom. his teacher didn't ask any questions just let him come in and told him to work on some of his make up work (he was out for 1 day) and has a ton of makeup work. then at the end of the day they had free time so she suggested again to work on his makeup work, well he is very disorganized and wanted to just do it at home with no pressure, she kept insisting so he left her classroom and stood in the hall because he was going to cry and he does not want his classmates to see him cry. she ended up sending another student to go back and forth with messages for him from her which made him even more frustrated, he just wanted to talk to her but she wouldn't come out so she sent another student as the go between. I realize she has a class to teach but if it was study period don't you think she could have stepped out quickly to help him recoup? he ended up saying "screw it" I will just go to the office and he did, he went to the principal and told her the whole story.
I got a note from his teachers saying "he continues to walk away and cool down when he feels like it, instead of doing it in situations when he is losing control. he is really abusing this system and using it as an escape from doing work!" I just got a call from the principal a few minutes ago telling me he now has 3 morning detentions because he left class twice and told his teacher to "screw it" ! he is confused and upset and has no clue what he did that was so bad and the sad thing is he really doesn't understand. he is a big kid and almost 12 years old but he has a disability and these people are just not getting it!!! sorry this is so long, I guess i'm venting and just wondering if anyone else's aspie goes through any of these issues? Renee I know Mike is about the same age as Nate? any words of wisdom ? I wish I could home school him! I am seriously thinking about it!! thanks for listening.

I pulled Chase out of class and took him in the hall and told him to go ahead and let his tears out. He was trying to not disrupt the class with his tears. He said he felt like they thought he was bad for not meeting his goal. I didn't even think twice...I took him in the office, signed him out of school and took him to McDonalds. I didn't care if the teachers thought he was being indulged because as hard as he works to even sit in a classroom he deserves to be indulged.
It sounds like the principal and the teacher do not understand your son's condition at all. I am very proud of him for having the courage to leave the classroom and stand up for himself. Is he mainstreamed? I'm seriously considering pulling Chase out of school for the middle school years. I think it was Tony Atwood that advises to do this as kids at this age can be ruthless. Regards, Vicky
I'm so sorry your son went through all that. My ds is in 5th grade. This yr we set up a break card system for him. If he's getting upset and heading toward a meltdown he can give his break card to his teacher or aide. Then he's allowed to leave the classroom and go to the resource room to compose himself. They wrote a social storie for his break card. Also the aide will prompt him to use it if she sees he's getting too anxious/frustrated and he doesn't recognize it himself. He also gets two short scheduled breaks a day unless he feels like he doesn't need it. It sure sounds like you need to call an IEP meeting with all teachers present and set up some kind of system like this for your son. He's trying to self regulate and then being punished for it. Its not fair. You are so right, they need to get a clue.
Samantha
Boy do I hear you! This IS the reason I have decided to pull my DS (3rd grader) out of public school. They just don't get him. A kid kicks him and throws wood chips at him at recess and both of them get sent to the principals office and my son is asked "Now how much trouble do you think Dwight (the offender) should get in?? HUH??? My poor son was so confused. The principal is so clueless. THey sit in groups of 5 or 6 kids in their class and the kids just talk non-stop and can't get any work done. My ds tries to ask them to be quiet - they tell him to "Shut up!" The meanest, nastiest bully gets put at his group - the teacher does know about him. What is she thinking!? It's just not a situation I want my son to have to experience - he is a really good kid.
If you don't think you can homeschool him I didn't either -NEVER EVER thought I would do it. But the more I read about it the more I think it will be the best environment for my son and he deserves the best!
There's tons of info. out there about homeschooling - if you want to know about some let me know.
Good Luck!
Jane