Battle Fatigued- anyone else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Battle Fatigued- anyone else?
Sun, 10-05-2003 - 10:26am
The questions are coming, sorry about the long winded background leading up to the questions.

My two Aspies went camping with cubscouts this week-end, DH 46 and DS 9.5. I was on edge because they didn't pre-register and had to be at the campsite no later than 2 PM or they weren't camping. DS was looking forward to this trip all week and I was okay with him going with his dad (usually a trip to Toys R Us is a disaster so anything longer I try not to let them do together) because my best friend's son, she and her husband were also going(she's Jordan's Annie Sullivan when I'm not around). DH was dragging his feet and procrastinating because he didn't want to go (it wasn't his idea so therefore he doesn't want to do it)and DS was getting nervous because it was 1.5 hour drive and it was 11 AM. I had to do the packing the night before because neither one of them knew what to back (the scouts gave us a packing list how hard was it follow the list and put the stuff in a bag). Jordan was nervous about the campsite because you're not allowed to curse when you put the tent together and his dad is famous for cursing up a blue streak when hammering a simple nail into the wall. He was afraid that he was going to be thrown out of scouts because of his dad.

I got a phone call around 6 PM from Jordan with a critique of the rides. Thank God he was happy and having a good time. Then DH gets on the phone and is annoyed that I didn't pack a flashlight, I packed a lantern. He didn't get when I said to him don't complain to me about stuff missing. If you wanted something packed then you should have done the packing yourself.

At 10:30 PM came the phone call I was waiting for all night. Jordan gets on the phone - Dad's a liar, he said there was going to be marshmallows at the bonfire and there weren't any. After a 10 minute whinefest, he put his father on the phone. I gave my DH the lecture (for the millionth time)about the importance of using the word "might". His response "the activity sheet said there was going to be a marshmallow roast. Why would they said it if it wasn't going to happen." He's 46, what kind of answer is that (an Aspie one-LOL).

Does anyone else feel like your at the receiving end of a really fast tennis ball cannon and you can't get your tennis racket in position fast enough so you try to duck the on coming balls and not get hit? Does anyone else feel like you're always on guard watching and waiting for the next meltdown without ever having down time to relax, you're always on edge?

When I forget something or something changes for my non-Aspie 5 year old, I get a knot in my stomach waiting for the meltdown because I'm so conditioned to react to that response. Thankfully he's really flexable, says it will be okay and figures out his own solutions.



Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 10-05-2003 - 8:26pm
I often feel emotionally tired. My oldest daughter (ADHD) is such a pain sometimes that I have to remind myself that it's my job to care or nobody else will. It gets to that point. My youngest (ASD) daughter worries me in other, development,etc. Fortunately, my dh is usually very helpful and supportive which is luckier than some have had it. I also look at people who have "normal" kids and think...they have NO idea how easy they have it. That's probably pretty presumptious of me since I really have no idea how they have it. :)

My dh told me that his grandmother (a very smart lady who raised 4 children by herself) used to tell her kids that she was their aunt and their mother wasn't here at the moment. Now, I can't see myself saying that to my kids because they are so very literal, but I can see how letting others know you are taking a vacation from yourself for the evening can force them to fix their own problems. haha. My new motto, "Sorry, that's not my problem." :) (yeah, right)

I have been trying to let go and realize that I can't make everything right for everyone. I had been fooling myself thinking I was ever the captain of this crazy boat. I'm just trying to hang on like everyone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Sun, 10-05-2003 - 8:37pm

This is my second attemp at posting a reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-05-2003 - 8:47pm

We call it "Talk to the booty, cause your mom is off duty". Joke a friend made to his kids one night to give his wife a break.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 1:05am
Yes. With Seth's birthday approaching he has been particularly intolerable today. He received a large monetary gift from his granddad and that must of set something off in him. The rest of the day had to be all about him. He sat with us to watch TV, something he never does, except it was to make sure that we weren't watching TV. He had to talk and talk and talk. Or walk in front of the TV. Anything to make sure he was the center of attention. Then when he got scolded for his behavior, (which would have been over and done with in a minute, except for the fact that he refuses to let anyone have the last word, so he has to comment on what you just told him causing him to get scolded more), He had the nerve to get up without finishing his dinner and stating, "I want to thank you for murdering my appetite". This after he singlehandedly turned a quiet evening into an uproar.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 3:02am

Wow, you know, the more I hear about Seth the more he reminds me of every single Aspie I've ever known all wrapped up into one.