Been away for a while. Update

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Been away for a while. Update
4
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 9:14pm

Hi, everyone. It's been a while (a month or two, I think) since I posted, so I thought I'd say hello. We lost a hard drive when *someone* slapped the laptop when the Lego website game wasn't responding properly.

David, 8.5, is my AS kid, but before the computer crash I had been posting about my worries about Nathan, who will be in kindergarten this fall. The doctor thought he had sensory issues (no ASD), but the ladies who evaluated him at the school district said they didn't think so. I admit, by the time the eval came around, he was doing much better. They concluded that his only *issue* is probably anxiety. He didn't qualify for an IEP, but they are going to match him with a teacher who will be good for him, and he'll get to meet her ahead of time. This past month, he has had a chain of "successes", and I'm seeing his anxiety melt away. By coincidence, we managed to find a couple of same-age, similar little boys who will be going to his school, and so Nathan has had a few social successes. Shortly after that, my super-picky Nathan tried a few new foods, and also flushed the downstairs toilet, despite it's "too wiggly" handle. These are MAJOR things. Right now, my biggest worry is that he's going to be so "normal" on the first day of kindergarten, that the people at school will think I'm a nutcase for even asking for the evaluation in the first place! We'll see, though.

David is doing well, too. Sometimes you'd hardly know he's on the spectrum, but every so often we get reminders. Like today, I was lying on my bed, reading a magazine, and both boys came into the room. They were playing a bit, and then David decided to put on his "Duh, I'm a dumb guy!" voice, and bash his head into the pillow, and then pretend to cry in playful but irritating way. Okay, that was age-appropriate, and the boys had some fun with it. But the fun soon wore off for Nathan (almost 5) and certainly for me, and it was time to look at a book together. David could NOT get the message that WE ARE DONE WITH THE DUMB GUY ROUTINE. Man, I tried being gentle. I tried being firm. I tried ignoring him. Nathan and I were lying on the bed, trying to read a story, and David was lying up against us, pretending to cry, and drooling all over. I had to physically drag him out of the room, and then he came crawling back, drooling, dragging his face on the carpet, and making "Uh-HUUUUUUHH!" sounds. He said he was trying to "be hilarious" and "I think it's hilarious, so everyone else has to think it's hilarious too!" Please. I eventually managed to redirect him, but by that time I was very aware of the fact that this was a "special needs" moment. LOL!

Never a dull moment, that's for sure.

Evelyn :)

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Registered: 02-20-2001
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 9:45pm

Evelyn,


Welcome back!!

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 11:49pm

Congrats on the progress and the boys doing well.

Who cares what they think. You weren't crazy and anyone who understands challenges will understand that. I started having Dave evaled beginning at 2. There are some quirks there (like you Nathan) but he did well in K. I do think without the right teacher he would not have done well. I am sure some folks think I was crazy but in reality when I talked to his teacher about all of it she just thought I was an involved concerned parent. In fact when we removed him from an IEP she was the one who made sure there was some way that it was definite Dave would be followed up for speech next year. Dave has a bit of a speech impediment. He graduated from speech last year but still has quite a bit of difficulty however, it is all stuff that is considered age appropriate. (l's, r's, etc.)

I understand the other too. That is actually one of my biggest gripes is they just don't know when to quit. It feels sometimes like you can never have fun or kid around with them because they don't have a natural stopping point, they aren't even able to stop where you remind them. Sometimes the only thing that works is a time out after they have taken it so far someone gets hurt or cries.

Last night the kids went to Karate. It was Caits first night as she decided to join for the summer. She learned "front snap kick" and had a great time but got like this too from the class. Well she decided to try out the kick on her sister. She was told clearly that this wasn't allowed and if she did it again she would loose electronics. Didn't matter. She did it 2 more times to her other siblings while laughing. Needless to say there was lots of crying and such as she lost electronics and then had to take a break in her room because it was unfair that I took electronics away. Ya know, if she had just stopped the first time I asked....but NOOOOOOO.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2005
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 12:16am
Evelyn,
Welcome back and I'm glad to hear the boys are doing so well!
Teresa
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 8:03am

Hi Evelyn!!

Good to see you back. I also think you did exactly the right thing, and you still don't really know how Nathan will do until he starts kindegarten and is every day all day with all those kids and challenges. Evals cannot tell you that. So, good going alerting the school to keep an eye on him, getting evals done ealry so everyone will know in advance more about your boy. There is NOTHING to feel bad about here. Better to be overprotective until proved you don't need to be, yes?

As always, I love reading your stories, you are such a good writer. I missed you.

Sara