Behavior issues
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| Mon, 10-03-2005 - 1:01pm |
Ok, so this is the bad side. I have questions and looking for ideas. Cait may have friends but her behavior is horrific lately in many ways. Much more rigid, impulsive, oppositional, etc.
One big issue is the bus. This morning again she flat out refused to get on. Well she is bigger now and physically forcing her on is not an option. The bus driver can't wait forever, so again Cait got her way and I drove her in. The cost of gas is outragious. Driving her across town is doable but a pain. I have to spend 45 minutes with all the kids in the car driving her there, come home for 10 minutes, then bring the other kids to school. Threw thier whole routine and the boys had a hard time sitting in that school drive waiting for our turn for drop off.
So trying to figure out what to do. If I drive her everyday it will take away this battle for her in the AM. Likely reduce her stress which has been a huge problem, but she gets her way from being a poo head. Plus it will cost me an extra $30 a week in gas and it doesn't start the day out well for the other kids. However, on the other hand if I don't she could easily just refuse to get on the bus for one issue or another and I drive her anyway. It is usually over not having her shoes on right or the bus is 2 mintues early but this morning it was over nothing. She does this about 1 time a week or so.
We are getting beyond the homework problems and she is getting a bit better on rude remarks, screaming, refusals and meltdowns (because mom got mean and she looses all privedges on the 1st time for these now) but it isn't perfect. We are averaging about a meltdown or 2 per day and just not a fun kid to be with most of the time.
Part of the problem is puberty and being a girl with AS. Girls in puberty are witchy enough. Add AS to the mix for her and KABOOOOM! She hasn't been this rigid since she was 3 I swear.
Another part of the problem is stress and middle school and the 3rd part of the problem may be huge but something I have to work through. She was cheeking her meds and dumping them. Didn't want to take them anymore so instead of having her take them 1/2 the time I agreed to wean her off for the time being and try no meds. The neuro has agreed to let her go off seizure meds because she thinks we are ok now. She is one meds always did work for and I don't have her figured out by way of natural alternatives yet and half the time she dumps those too and sneaks sweets at school. It has been a few weeks since she was fully weaned and I think the SSRI is completely out of her system.
Any ideas. This girl is making me crazy. I am not ready to be the mom of a teenager with ASD. GRRRRRRRRRRR
Renee


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ROFL, I won't worry. You are allowed the ocasional thought.
But all the kids here know what the short bus is for by the time they get to middle school. And most of the other kids on the bus are from the severe handicap class so a bit more noticable.
I could tell Cait anyway. Heck here is a girl who can lie about chewing gum when you see her chewing, AND she is so adamant she will almost have you convinced. (OH that's right it's because she was chewing paper, not gum. Darn AS)
Renee
Was Cait teased about the short bus? We do not have this issue yet because, well, ALL the kids in Malcolm's school come by short bus, but I have heard stories about kids who are in public school programs being teased about buses. The problem, it seems to me, is to find a way for her to view the bus as "cool", which does seem somewhat insurmountable under the circumstances. I, like Suzi, would probably end up rearranging my life to drive him, although I do think you might try the headsets. CD players and copies of CDs are really cheap enough, in the long run of life...
Just a quick Malcolm story, I have been trying to get Malcolm to talk more about the kids in summer camp. It would seem the teasing was things like hiding his hat when time to go out in blazing sun (which Malcolm hates, sun-sensitive) also this hat was special gift from his godmother. Then laughing when he lost it... Mean thing to do, but Malcolm doesn't connect it with who did it, and we are not sure who it was, little creeps.
Anyways, I read him a book about teasing and bullying, and he calmly looked at me at the end of the lovely little book and said "But, Mom, teasing only happens in PUBLIC school. I go to PRIVATE school." Ah, the innocent.
Sara
Well ladies, PMS is over and we have found a solution.
Yes, once we got past "that time" she was much easier to reason with. Still working on behavior but it is MILES better than last week. You ladies with boys are SOOOOOO lucky!
Ah, the school bus remedy. Good old bribery in effect has worked. You see, they have a vending machine with breakfast stuff at school. Cait loves vending machines and it has in it stuff mom won't let her eat at home. Her bus gets their early so she has time to go. One of her big problems is that she doesn't have time to eat breakfast leisurely before getting on the bus. (Plenty of time for the typical person, but not the queen of routine). Her bus arrives at 6:20 but she is up by 5:45.
SOOOOOO, I gave her a dollar one day and let her get breakfast at school so she wouldn't have to rush. Then the next day she wanted me to drive her and wanted a dollar. Well, honey if I drive you then you have time for breakfast at home and you won't have time to go to the vending machine at school.
Working so far....The only thing is that it is KILLING me to let her eat poptarts and such for breakfast. So I am going to the store today and going to pick up some of her favorite meal bars (cliff bars are organic/no sugar) or organic poptarts and have her pack it in her backpack instead of a dollar. I don't know if it will work. I will have to keep a special stash just for her breakfast.
Renee
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