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birthday
| Thu, 03-27-2008 - 12:01am |
I am sorry to be posting- I feel like I don't deserve to because I am such a lurker.
| Thu, 03-27-2008 - 12:01am |
I am sorry to be posting- I feel like I don't deserve to because I am such a lurker.
Oh my Gosh Tracey I just want to hug and hug and hug you sweetie!!!
And happy birthday Sam!
And you know, he is still Sam, and he does still have the whole world ahead of him. His world is a slightly different place, but it is no less magical, inspiring and full of possibilities for all that. He's exactly the same boy he was before he got the diagnosis. No kid is 'like other kids'...(but I do know what you mean though).
There are days when it is very hard. I find birthdays very hard too. I don't wish the ASD away, but I just wish DS could enjoy his birthdays like other kids, without it being hugely stressful for everyone, as we try to find some activity that he can share with his friends that won't send him into meltdown, whilst every other parent just books a bouncy castle or does party games.
4 is a very very hard age too. It's little comfort, but I think in hindsight 4-6 was really, really tough, and it got a lot easier after that, as we got better at finding ways to support DS and DS got better at coping with the NT world. I don't know if you have an ASD parents support group IRL near you, but if you do you might want to consider joining, they can be a real life saver because really, only other parents 'get it'. And there are plenty of parents who have been where you are.
Kirsty, mum to Euan (9, Asperger's) Rohan (5, NT) and Maeve (2, NT)
((((TRACEY)))) You don't have to be sorry for needing hugs and support. That's what we're here for. We've all had times when we feel just like you do. It's hard esp when we compare our kids to the typical kids and the milestones they're supposed to reach. Try to only compare him to himself 6 months ago. Celebrate the baby steps he's taking and the growth he's having. I know it's hard but the little successes make life easier w/ a child w/ autism.
Betsy
Tracey !!! i am write there with u , my daughter turned 3 yesterday (26th), and everyone keeps telling me 3 is such a fun age yadda yadda, well her language/social/self help skills are a yr behind so im afraid i wont know just yet what its like to have a "true" 3 yr old.
we took her to a kids tumbeling gym yesterday, she loves that place but it was a bit crowded and she has such fear of all the children running around, and if any got close to her she paniced!! my heart broke to know yes my girl is now 3 an age she should be running giggeling and exploring with other children, but cringes when a toddeling one yr old gets with in 3 feet of her! :(
so your not alone!! i hope your heavy heart lightens soon!
Amy H.
Yeah, you're right.
((((Tracey))))
Oh honey, if we had to "deserve" to post, no one would post...lol (no offense ladies!)
Some days are just like that.
((((((((((Tracey)))))))))
Oh honey, dont; ever think you don't deserve to post or that your feeling are not valid. I didn't celebrate my DS's third birthday. I have pictures of 2 and 4 but no 3yo. At 3, I was just too depressed and hopeless to celebrate his birthday. I loved him and I saw a lot of potential in him, but he was having such a had time out in the world then, and the 'experts" were telling me all sorts of horrible stuff -like he may never be able to hold a conversation.
I sought help for both of us. I saw a psychologist for awhile, and I also took more aggressive steps to get him services at school. Both helped.
But the thing that helped the most was what Betsy already suggested. I stopped comparing him to regular kids. Instead, I looked at how he was 3, 6, 12 months ago, and looking back like that allowed me to really see his progress. For this reason, birthdays are good, because you can look back at the progress made over the past year or 4 and really see how far he has come.
Peter will be turning 10 in the summer, and he has made really remarkable progress. He is holding his own in mainstream 4th grade. And yes, he can hold a conversation! (Ha!)
It took me a long time to get to a place where I could accept the notion that my kids have special needs. I still am not always comfortable with it, and I will never be happy about it, but I accept it.
And now that I am kind of past that hurdle, I am going through a similar thing again with accepting (or not) my own illness. I have felt myself slip into depression again over it, so I am going to find myself a shrink and see what I can do about it. I thought I could handle it alone, and I would snap out of it, but I know that that is not going to happen. But there is nothing wrong with asking for help, so here I go.
I hope this helps.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Oh Ladies~
I have been overwhelmed by your kind words- you really helped me through a tough time and I cannot thank you enough.
{{{{{Tracey}}}}}
You deserve support and cyber-friendship as much as anyone else. I totally 'get' where you're comming from even though my child is 9 yo now. It's hard not to look around and be jealous of other people with their NT kids, bythely living their lives, while you worry and stress and manage the best you can - but in the long run, comparing doesn't do anyone any good. I think the idea of finding a local ASD support group is an excellent one. I'm here on this board because my therapist hounded me about getting better support for myself, and it has helped, even if I don't post so much.
So hang out here, look locally and know you are not alone.
Drea
Graham
Miles
Anson
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