Blowing off steam

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2005
Blowing off steam
2
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 12:45am
I need to blow off steam so I hope you don't mind my rantings. I'm doing a walk to raise money for autism on October 1st and not one single member of my dh's family have donated a dime!I could understand if they didn't have money but they do. My ds was recently diagnosed and I think his family just believe I'm blowing it out of proportion.They are the type of family who like to "sweep everthing under the rug" and I couldn't be more different.My dh has a 1st cousin who is 17 and never been diagnosed but is obviously an aspie.His mom told me from the time he was a baby she knew something was wrong but her husband(my dh's uncle)refused to get help and just chooses to see him as gifted even though he sits and reads books at family occasions and only interacts with his 84year old grandmother.I feel so bad for this child because he is so obviously suffering in silence.My dh's aunt told me at the last family gathering that I shouldn't make this diagnosis my life.It scares me how many people are still so clueless about autism.They just don't get it.My child is my life!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: baboig
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 8:25am

Sometimes I think unsupportive family is worse than no family at all.

Ya know they coud donate money just because its a good *cause* regardless of their denial. Although is tounds like they are a bit overbeaing and used to getting their own way. (I'm thinking of the cousin here)

As doing well is the best form of revenge, I suggest you get as much sponsership from your real fiends and family, advertise it all over the place and make them look sad and meanspirited, -which they are.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
In reply to: baboig
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 8:34am

It's great that you are doing the walk, though, way to get involved and empower yourself. Just a note here, when you are out asking for money from people, you have to think of the asking as a long term project! I have lots of experience with throwing benefits,and every time you ask people for money, it is best to remember that some people take awhile and convincing to open the posket book, and you have to know that you will simply keep asking and not get discouraged until they are ready to give. And I bet eventually, as they watch your efforts on your son's behalf and his progress etc., they will turn the corner here. At least, I sure hope so.

I know how painful this all is for you, and your husband's family does sound sadly clueless. The dx is so new, and they are still hoping it will go away, and not be true. Can you take your focus away from your husband's family and just concentrate on the many lovely people who do get involved and give and walk? Should be a great day for you.

How sad for that mother and her aspie son that she was unable to stand up to her husband when she knew something was wrong. It's always hard to have to struggle against opinions, but when it's your child and you know something is very wrong, well, my heart just aches for her. Maybe your family's example will eventually help that family get him some help as well.

Have a great walk, that is coming up soon!! Many here have talked about the pain of not having support and indeed even having sabotage by family. But at the end of the day, our children's happiness and well-being is everything and enough reward.

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm