Book Recommendation Please

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2008
Book Recommendation Please
5
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 10:22am

Hi,

We are awaiting an eval from a psych - not scheduled til october, but my 6.5 year old dd has had an extremely rough year in 1st grade. Signs are pointing to Aspergers (an OT had mentioned ASD during a brief eval), and I'm an information sponge.

So, I'm wondering if all you experience, knowledgeable moms (and dads) can recommend a few good books on Aspergers and ways to help kids with Aspergers. I've been reading the AdHD ones (that was the dx from our ped), but now that we are on meds for ADHD, some emotional symptoms have been magnified.

This board has been so helpful to me already (I've been lurking for a while), and I just need some info to keep me on the right path to help dd.

I'm in a real emotional battle now with trying to help her without enabling her, but my traditional parenting techniques have just all gone out the window these past few months.

She is so sad somedays and so angry with herself, it just breaks my heart. I'm also considering homeschooling (I've considered it her whole life, but now I'm revisiting this option), so if anyone has any advice/tips/opinions there, I'd appreciate those as well.

I'm going to read on through the boards to get to know you all better. I don't have much to offer in return right now since our journey is just beginning, but I look forward to hearing all your stories and hopefully interjecting as time goes on and I get more informed.

Thanks again.

Nikole
(mom of Grace)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 12:55pm

Hi Nikole,

I'm a information hound too. Knowledge is power. I like the book by Tony Attwood The Complete Guide to Aspergers. I've also heard the Expolsive Child recommended many times here. There is loads of stuff out there. Check out what your library has because you can spend a lot on books otherwise, lol. You may be able to get alot through interlibrary loan too.

Parenting an ASD kid is different than an NT kid. Although the techniques will work with the NT kids too. Social stories and preparation are important tools. We've had success with 1,2,3 Magic although some people prefer Power Cards and similar strategies. If you come in with specific situations, people can share with you their ways of dealing with it.

Also it's better to try to anticipate triggers and head them off rather than let them happen and then try to calm your child down. This is NOT enabling the child. They truly can't handle some stuff that is easy for an NT child to brush off and adapt too. Exposure to the triggers without proper preparation will NOT result in desensitization as once in a meltdown, the child cannot process new information. With proper preparation and controlled exposure, ASD kids can learn to adapt to stressful situations although they may always be difficult for them.

It may feel like you are coddling them, but their nervous system is much more sensitive than you or I. As they mature, it will get better, but they mature much more slowly. We parent best when we think of our 11 yo as closer to 8 or 9. I"m not looking forward to parenting during puberty, but somehow we'll make it through.

Hope this helps a little bit.

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 2:29pm
I'm glad you found this board, I think you will find it not only informational but comforting and supportive as well. I know I have and I only lurk occasionally. One book that I have found extremely useful is Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments. I found it at my local library. It has great advice on how to help teachers help AS kids get through their day. My son was diagnosed in third grade and is now 14. My advice is pace yourself. I know the instinct is to rush out and read everything but it is easy to burn out that way, so take it one book at a time and keep a journal about which ones were helpful. Andrea is right about using the library, you will save yourself a ton of money on books that offer little new info. That's where a journal will come in handy so you can refer back to the book and check it out again if needed. We too waffled on the homeschooling idea. On the one hand it seems like it would be way easier academically but on the other you have to consider whether your child will get enough exposure to and practice with social relationships. I wish you luck on this journey and hope you will benefit from the board and these suggestions. My heart goes out to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 2:56pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2008
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 7:05pm

Thank you all for the support you've given already!!! I feel so blessed to have found this board and I've already read so much. I'm sure I'll be asking more as time goes on and I learn more.

It seems that a lot of the posts on here are for kids who got an ASD dx at a later age. I hope to get some answers before second grade begins. I do NOT need a repeat of this year!!!!

Nikole

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 8:32pm
I'm finding that my favorite book is Temple Grandin's "The Way I See It".