Break downs at school

Avatar for rlena
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Break downs at school
9
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 7:59pm

It has defiantly been a Monday! I need some help..


My 8 year old has Aspergers and has always struggled with school. He gets where he really don't want to do his work. Well lately he has started breaking down at school. He refuses to do anything and just cries and cries. The teachers try to calm him down and give him as many breaks as he needs, but nothing is helping. We have started the visual schedules and the First and then board and he could seem to care less. They went out for recess today. They other class teacher always takes them out. Well he decided to hide when it was time to go in and his teacher had to come back out and get him. He said that he thought that he did not get enough recess time and that he just wanted to stay out.Then my mother-in-law gets him home and tells him that he can not play games because of his action today. Well he gets mad and throws the remote.


He has never acted this way before. He is the most loving kid ever. Last year he would get in a mood and want to come home, but it was nothing like this year. He just seems to be getting worse. I have no idea what to do. Have any of you had this problem with your kids and what did you do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 8:11pm

Casey,


I am trying to remember his

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Avatar for rlena
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 8:26pm

He goes to private school. He get OT once a week and has already been though PT.


As for goals: His assignments are abbreviated, he gets several breaks when needed and also he is supposed to start getting different assignments to help keep his attention.


School wise he has straight A's because he knows the work but refuses to put it down on paper. There are no classes at his school for kids with disabilities. The teacher is working with him, but not to the point that I am happy. Doing other things to accommodate him seems to be to much work for

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 8:31pm

I don't know much about this -the Special Ed board might be able to guide you better, but I thought you could get public Special Ed services for a kid in private school -especially if the private school

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Avatar for rlena
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 8:45pm

I will have to get ahold of the people in charge of his school district and see what options I have. I have been told that since he is not in a public school that his options where limited.


We are also going to try and stick with the pointers that they have gave us for visuals.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 10:17pm

Definitely get in touch with someone and see what options are available. This sounds very much like what Haley went through in third grade. We didn't have the diagnosis at that time so she didn't qualify for special ed services. Academically she was fine and even above average but emotionally, she was unable to cope in the classroom. Was a very difficult year.

I hope things turn around and the rest of the year goes more smoothly. I don't have any advice but I can definitely relate!




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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Aspie)


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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 8:02am

We've been through similar things with our now-9 year old Aspie. And as we are in the UK and the system is different we don't have an IEP or anything so we have had to work out, with his teacher and headteacher, how to help him. So here's some ideas:


a) Try to get the teacher to keep a log for a few days of exactly when your son gets upset, has to go outside, goes 'off task' and what is happening at that point in the classroom. Try to get a handle on what kinds of patterns and changes are occurring. It could be that there are some transitions/changes (is it between tasks or moving from one task to another?) issues, or that he is struggling with working in groups, or that he is struggling to understand the point of the task. The latter, particularly if he was ok academically up to now, is highly likely. Get the teacher to give him a *structured* explanation for the task: not just, you need to do x, y, and z, but you need to do x, because that is how we learn about y, and you need to do it in this way, because then I can see this....etc


b) Talk to you son, both with the teacher and separately, about what *he* thinks will help him stay motivated and on task. Does he maybe need an egg timer, a structured system of rewards, a time-out area to get some persona space, somewhere where he can place a 'sad/happy/angry' face if he can't voice his feelings but needs the teacher to know he's upset


c) Have there been any changes to his routine - and god knows, these can be bizarre and nonsensical to us NTs but mean the world to Aspies. DS1 got upset once because the days were getting shorter which meant the sun was shining at a particular angle on his work...we just moved his chair, but it took weeks to sort that one out. Has he had his hair cut (need a hair cut?), new socks, new pencil case, different coat, different route to school, different breakfast cereal, different washing powder making his clothes smell 'funny', new kid started at school, change to timetable, new teacher, new dinner lady, different dinner menu.....????


d) Does he maybe just need some cheering up? Sometimes we focus so much on the dx that we forget that these are our lovely kids and sometimes, like all kids, they just have a bad few days and need a special treat.


e) punishments later won't work. He'll think they are unfair and unconnected to the behaviour, which is actually true, and he'll just get mad. I think it works better to work towards treats and then not get them if your behaviour doesn't improve, and have an immediate consequence for the bad behaviour that is then written-off, otherwise you can get into a cycle of bad behaviour, punishment, anger at the punishment leading to bad behaviour....etc


hth


Kirsty, mum to Euan (9, Asperger's), Rohan 4 (NT) and Maeve (very-nearly-2, birthday next week, ARRRGH!! NT)

Avatar for rlena
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Registered: 04-24-2003
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 9:07am

We figured out what is causing his outburst. He feels that he has to have control at all times. Every morning he will walk over and grab a book out of the basket at school. Once it is time to start work and the Teacher takes away to book, he looses that control. He then gets mad and starts the outburst. All he wants to do is sit and read the book. She has tried the first and then board. First you do these 6 problems. Then you can read some more. He just will not have that.


I read were some aspie kids have to learn that they do not always have control of their situation and that's ok. I have researched that classes offered under our local special education and thay have a ABC (alternative behavior class). I am going to get in touch with someone today to see about having him placed in the class.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 1:57pm

Just a thought,

                                

Avatar for rlena
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Registered: 04-24-2003
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 9:03pm

I was told today that the ABC class was not what he needed. They explained that it was for mentally unstable kids who could not function because of severe aggression.


They have me looking into 2 programs Applied behavior analysis and the alert program. After trying to research these programs, I am very very confused lol. The alert program is more for kids that has problem paying attention. Yes he does have mild ADD but that's not the main problem atm. The applied behavior analysis just talks about what it actually is and how to get certified. (which from what I can tell you need some sort of membership) All it really talks about is studying behavior.


Right now I am really clueless.

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