bullies

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
bullies
2
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 3:14pm
well let's start by saying my ds is 10 and comes home for lunch thank god, today was a bad day , kids can be so cruel they were pinching him and last week another boy pushed and he fell. I've given him advice to tell teacher and principal but it repeats after a few days, my son hasn't been dx yet with asperger's but I'm 95%sure still waiting for appt. at asd clinic. you see my son is 120 lbs he can take care of these kids , but he is so sensitive they tease because he's different and because he doesn't fight back.ooh! I wish I could be ten for 1 day.just wanted to vent and some advice please.

tammy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
In reply to: litltam
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 7:45pm

Oh Tammy!

Avatar for mamabearof2
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2003
In reply to: litltam
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 8:00pm
Tammy I can imagine how you feel. I would advise you to contact the teacher then the principle. It used to be that kids needed to stick up for themselves but research has shown that being bullied has a HUGE affect on kids and in their adult years also. That is the first step I would take. Dr. Phil had a show on this and that was his first advise was for the parents to get involved. Also role play with your son on what to say when being bullied. I know it is hard for our kids on the spectrum to make eye contact but it is important that you role play with him on making eye contact, saying in an assertive voice (loud and clear) what he wants the kids to stop doing, ie I don't like it when you pinch me and I want you to stop!" or something like that.

I have a book called, How to handle bullies, teasers and other meanies. This book suggests 3 ways to handle being bullied but I think the ideas sound silly. I have not suggested a kid to do these things but here they are:

1. turning insults into compliments with the idea it is hard to pick on someone who thinks you are giving them a compliment (I don't put stock in that one)

2. asking questions with the idea the bully will give up because there are so many questions and it take the fun out of picking on someone

3. agreeing with the idea that it is hard to pick on someone who is agreeing with you.

Now I have another book that is called Stick up for yourself and it gives good advise like being assertive what I mentioned earlier and tell an adult, don't be by yourself (stick with other kids) ect.

Bullies are tough to handle for some kids and I wish you and your son luck in dealing with these kids. I ask my sons if they feel safe at school a lot and question how other kids treat them

You have my support,

mamabear

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