Our bullying began later, around the end of 3rd, beginning of 4th grade, so I was lucky, but I had other issues like my son's ego to contend with.
I am so, so, sorry.
I am sorry you are having to deal with this, it's very very hard as a parent to have to go through. I think the OPs have given you some great ideas about how to teach your son the social skills he needs - because at the end of the day, he is going to have to learn how to do this, you and his teacher won't be able to do it for him. being able to be strong, and if necessary fight back, and having strong allies will help him. You can't do it for him, much as you want to.
It can help to socially 'scaffold' him: give him structured social situations in which he can learn to interract properly with other children around shared interests. Scouts are good, as are non-physical activities - my son does group music lessons, and technical drama group, and an ecology club, as well as scouts. It all helps gie the other kids opportunities to interract with him around shared interests and gives him allies. Individual social skills training and group work around social integration all helped - very often his peers won't really understand him, but they are very tolerant of him. That took a lot of work.
I know you are mad at the mean kids. It will get better but it will take a lot of hard work and patience on your part.
Kirsty, mum to euan (12, Aspergers
"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"
Follow my blog on http://mumsnet.com/blogs/kirsteinr/
It appears that the time out the gymnastic coach gave him wasnt enough deterent for him not to bully again. Maybe a removal from the class or report to his parents would be more effective.
I find that the punishments are lacking in todays society. My daughter was bullied from 6th to 8th grade. I worked with the school staff for 3 years. They did nothing. The punishment they handed out to a kid who admitted to bullying was he was made to say he was sorry. Oh boy some deterent that was! No wonder bullying is such an issue these days.
Finally I made the decision to take her out of school. She has been home schooled for 1.5 years now and there is no bullying in her life at all.
My suggestion is that if the gymnastics coach cant control the behavior of her class and protect your son then take him out of the class and find a coach who can. They are out there.
I had my other daughter in taekwondo for 7 years. Let me tell you...taekwondo instructors are not afraid to discipline. We lived on a marine base and she had a 4th degree marine blackbelt instructor and he was all about discipline. She went to a few different schools and all the instructors kept a tight reign on their class. Martial arts teachers are like that.
I like that you spoke up to the teacher. Thats what it takes. Be loud and forceful and dont put