Call from MIL..ugh
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|Tue, 09-09-2003 - 10:59am|
Now, one of Dh's sisters changed jobs about 6 weeks ago. She was working in some warehouse somewhere. She is now an aide in a special ed class at some school. Now since she was working during the summer, i am assuming this is a special school. In the class, she has a down's child, several Austistics, and some others with severe conditions.
Well, Catie has already had trouble in preschool during her first week. MIL asked me about it, so i told her. Catie isnt transitioning, and she is having severe trantrums where they have to restrain her. And i said i wasn't exactly happy with that.
Well, my mil piped in and said that SIL came to her and said and i quote "Mom, i don't really think Catie has austim".
I got miffed. I TOLD MIL " ok, A) there are all different kinds of autism. Just because you say austim doesnt mean they sit in a corner and rock and drool. There are vice presidents of company out there with high functioning autism. B) SIL has worked at this job for what? 6 weeks? who is SHE is make that kind of a JUDGEMENT? and C) How often is SIL even AROUND Catie?? She sees her ONCE a year? for what? 2 hours? and she thinks she KNOWS this kid and can determine if she has autism or not? D) this child has been in early intervention for 18 months. She has been classified as developementally delayed, socially delayed, at one point her motor skills were grossly behind. She is 3 1/2 years old and still walks on her tip toes 60% of the time. Her speech is of a 2 year old. and she actually has behaviors of a child with PDD-NOS.The state of Utah has delcared her as disabled, and she is enrolled in a special ed class through the state, placing her in free preschool. She may NOT have Autism, but she MAY have Autism as well. We still don't know. Her Psychologist is hoping that with preschool, her social skills will improve, and her Aspie-like behavior will dissolve. So we are on a wait and see schedule at this point."
OOOO, i was fuming. This is one of the problems i have with my inlaws. They live half way across the country and see my kid once or twice a year for 2 hours here and there and they think they not only KNOW her, but know more than WE do. THEY aren't here. THEY don't have to watch her slam herself into walls during a fit. THEY don't have to see her have melt downs in the middle of the street while you are out in public. THEY don't understand how important a routine is to her and how if you change the routine, you set yourself back 6 months and you have to start all over. just because she is cute, and smiles, and will kiss you and make eye contact, doesnt mean she doesnt have PDD-NOS. She is under the care of a Psychologist and HE should be the one who makes that diagnosis. NOT my ignorant inlaws, which half of them have not even finished high school, and they like to beat their kids with shoes.
My mother in law has NEVER supported me with Catie at all. Everytime something happens, she goes out of her way to let me know she is blowing me off and it isnt important. And I am just making a bigger deal out of things. She doesnt even sound or act concerned 95% of the time. Infact, when we thought she was deaf, she even ARGUED with me about it. I got out a set of pots and pans and stood behind Catie and banged them as hard as i could, and at 18 months she didnt even flinch. I said to her "Oh yeah, what is she doing then? Ignoring me??? At 18 months she has decided to be a mute? What do YOU call that??"
MY GOSH, i get so mad. When DH got home, i told him "i think your mom calls JUST to see if she can tick me off. She will ask me about Catie, i tell her, and then she starts to debate the crap with me. I should just tell her, when you start sending money for her care, then YOU can have a say so on what happens to her."