can I vent?
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| Sat, 07-28-2007 - 12:51pm |
So DD's dad lives about as far away as he can. He's seen DD once since he moved 3 years ago. He calls about once a week and tries to be as involved as possible. When he moved and the divorce was final I made it clear to him and his mom that DD's relationship between all parties not related to me would be the responsibility of that party or her dad. So if they want to see her or talk to her they should call her. For the most part her dad has done a good job. His mom on the other hand, not so much. She calls about once every 8 weeks. So she called for the first time in about 8 weeks yesterday. We chatted about how DD is doing, then she talked with DD. Then came the conversation about how she's doing and what medications she's on. (We've been working on behavior for over a year). I explained that we're looking into a possible diagnosis of Asperger's and we're currently not medicated. I explained a little about ASD's and such.
She then makes the famous comment, "She doesn't do that here."
DD hasn't been at their house for any extended period of time in over a year. And then it was for an over night. DD doesn't act that way at my mom's either. She does it when I'm around, but I honestly think it's a trust issue. After a weekend at grandma's we usually have a total meltdown because she's been keeping it in all weekend.
So I know she doesnt mean to imply that Emma only behaves the way she does because of me, but it still feels like that. GRRRRRRRRR
Okay, so thank you for letting me growl for a minute, I feel better.

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Edited 2/19/2008 10:58 am ET by littleroses
I have also heard that same exact thing about Nathan. He does act differently around other people, even family members. He is very relaxed around me and his brother. But he knows how to "hold" it in when others are around....at least till he feels comfortable enough to be himself. Once Nathan got his dx, everyone kinda backed off with the comments. And as Nathan has gotten older, he's 8 now, his quirkiness shows more.
I do the same as littleroses stated....I try to just ignore their comments. They don't understand completely, and they are not with my son ALL the time. But I know how irritating it can be...hang in there!!
michelle
Awww sweetie, I just went thru this with the school system. They said "He doesn't do these things here".
For one my son does hold things in, and releases them when he gets home. He would never ever think of having a rage in school, because thats just him outside of the house. He would come home and rage. He did that because he knew how I would react with his rage than others (more loving than others would be).
Because they don't know them as well as you, they don't know what that person would do to them. Thats pretty scary to a child.
Any, I was in luck tho, as the Special Ed Director came in on the last meeting, and when the teacher made her usual comment that they don't see this behavior, the Sp Ed Dir, said "It doesn't matter, he can still be Autistic". Then I handed over a letter his Pys wrote up saying that he is being treated for ASD and thank god that changed everything.
Anyway, just push those comments out of your head. I have family members think that Chris can outgrow the Autism, or that my younger son who has Tourettes, Tic's for attention. So I know where your coming from.
Vent away anytime you need to sweetie, we all gotta let it out sometimes, and this is a great place to do it.
Lainie
{{{Hugs sweetie}}} vent away...
I know the feeling, Grandpa (my Dad) says the same thing. He still thinks Nick is just strong willed and he just needs more discipline. Nick doesnt melt down or act like he does here at his house. He has however started to act out at my Mom's house and I think it is because he feels more comfortable because she spends WAY more time with him. I agree it is a trust issue. In fact he melted down at her house just tonight. I dont argue with my Dad anymore, it just falls on deaf ears. He can choose to accept it or not. The sad thing is it does alienate us from him, but to be honest, that is his choice, not ours. It is just a fact of life. It hurts, but I cant dwell on it. I have to think of the well being of us!
You just keep on doing what is best for your DD and no bother with what anyone else says. You dont have to explain it to anyone else. They either accept it or not!
Christine
Christine, Proud Mommy to Nicholas, 5, AS & ADHD..My eternal sunshine!
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Christine