This can't go on! HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
This can't go on! HELP!
16
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 1:46am
Ok you guys...this particular problem is driving me nutso even tho I KNOW it isn't his fault. It's the bedwetting! Dakota is 5 and still having accidents! We have tried everything and nothing is getting it done completely. We usually have him go pee right before bed(about 830 or 900), then we wake him up at 130 when dh goes to work to let him pee again. Most of the time he does ok, but once or twice a week he wets the bed! A friend of his spent the night tonite and since ds sleeps in our bed (I sleep on the couch), they both slept there tonite. Well about 15 mins. ago ds wakes up screaming and I find that he has SOAKED the bed! Pillows, blanket, sheet....all of it soaked. Obviously the other kid woke up too(as HIS pillow got wet somehow), so I changed all the bedding, febreezed the whole bed again, and put down 3 thick towels and an afghan for them to sleep on. I gave them MY pillows and sent them back to bed. OMG I am sooooo frustrated by this! I have to febreeze the bed cuz we just cannot afford a new one right now(but SOON!)and we are going to have to put rubber sheets on the new one when we get it so he won't ruin it. I know some of you must think "put him in HIS bed!". Well....MUCH easier said than done! He flat refuses to sleep in there! We have tried and tried...I think it is something he will have to grow out of or I will have to figure out another way to get him to sleep in there. This whole post has been completely humiliating. Thank you for listening anyway. I appreciate any suggestions! By the way, we have tried limiting liquids before bed too....no dice! UGH!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 2:33am

Last thing you want to hear, I'm sure... but I had nighttime accidents till I was 14yrs or so (so did my mom and sister)... so I at least know what *he's* going through. I wish I had something to suggest besides the rubber sheets and maybe those 'Goodnights' or something similar, but I really don't. I don't think it's anything that can be taught out of some kids... I think for some (like me) it's just a biological problem of having a smaller bladder than needed to make it through the night till they are older... sometimes much older.

I have been told that waking them up to go is a bad idea because it just reinforces the idea of *going* at night instead of holding it through the night... so that you'll just have to be waking them up 'forever' and they will never 'learn' to wake up themselves to go... but honestly I don't know if that is true or not. I don't think I would do it personally because it's just one more thing to 'do' that isn't really solving the problem... but my only kiddo that is out of diapers/pullups never had a real problem with bed wetting so we haven't had to make those decisions yet. With my 'track record' (and my sister's, and my mother's...) I'm sure at least one of my three younger kids will wind up as a bedwetter... but right now I've still not faced this from the 'mommy' end.

And as far as where he sleeps... that in my book is *nothing* to worry about unless it bothers *you*! It's a family decision on how hard to 'press' a child to sleep where *you* really want them to... or even if you *care* where they sleep! In our house we rarely worry about it... we tend to 'bed hop' in our house... you never know where you will find anyone come morning (or where they'll start out each night)... and we are fine with that! If you want suggestions for ways to help 'move him out' I've heard a few here and there that seem promising to me (and we've even used some a bit when we wanted to reduce the odds of ending up with *all* the kids in our bed come morning)... but if *you* don't mind him in your bed then why battle over it? You know?

Kristy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 3:17am

Ya know, until you said something, I completely forgot.....I was a bedwetter until I was about 12 or so, and so was my brother! Actually ours was due to sleeping TOO heavily. Both of us could sleep through a tornado when we were younger..LITERALLY. I was so preoccupied with the fact that it may be due to his meds(doc said it might make the problem worse)or something that I was doing wrong in his potty training. He was very difficult to potty train. He wasn't out of a diaper completely during the day until he was almost 4. Anyway, maybe I should step back and think about this a little more to see what the REAL problem is and go from there. As for the sleeping arrangements....well...it doesn't bother me that he sleeps in there, cuz he sleeps WELL in there most nights. And I'm more concerned with that at the moment than WHERE he actually sleeps. That originally got started when he was 2 and was sick and I was VERY tired and just didn't have the energy to stay up with him all night. So I brought him to bed with me and dh and it went on from there! Thankfully, it taught me a lesson and I have NEVER put my daughter in the bed with us! Although, I have read in many places that other cultures are often APALLED at the fact that we Americans put our children to sleep in a separate room! Many cultures support the idea of children sleeping in the same room (if not the same bed) as their parents. They believe that it helps support the feeling of "family" and "unity". I know that my son feels very secure sleeping in our room, so I guess I will just "suck it up" for now and see what happens! Thanks for your post!

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 7:33am
hi,
ok,youv'e got 2 problems here but they can be sorted out.but it will take time.i'll tell you what we did with our ds and maybe it will help a bit.
1st one bedwetting.ds wet the bed until he was 7.i took him to the doctors over this because there didn't seem to be any progress.get this, i was told a child will keep wetting the bed until a chemical thats released in the brain kicks in.there are things you can do to help,which from reading your post you are already doing,but until the chemical is released your child will not wake up to go for a wee.try not to worry it will all come right when the time is right.well the dr was right.
2 nd one,getting a kid to sleep in his own bed.we had a h##l of a time with this one.we'd get him in bed and he'd scream to not be left on his own.one night we just bit the bullet and did it.we put him to bed,put his favourite radio station on and sat on the floor until he was asleep.we left the radio on all night on low.yes we had the screaming abdabs but thought if we give in now we've put him through all of this for nothing.we continued to do this every night moving a little away from his bedroom each night.going from sat on bedroom floor to landing to top step,2nd step,3rd step and finally dining room.it took weeks but did work.he also got a reward if he slept in his own bed for the full night.we also found his behaviour improved as he was getting a proper nights sleep with no disturbances.
hope this helps a little,
yvonne xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 9:52am

Jen,


I'm glad you felt safe enough to write that post.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 11:34am

I think you've gotten a lot of good advice, and I really have nothing to add...our almost 7 year old still wets the bed at least once a week. Rather than fight with washing the sheets all the time, we just put her to bed in Goodnights. I'm sure you've heard of them...they're Pull-Ups for bedwetters. The largest size goes up to almost 100 lbs., I think...so they'll easily fit your five year old.

One word of advice from experience, even if it gets to the point where your son seems to be done wetting the bed, because of the "chemical thing" that Yvonne mentioned, you will probably find that as he goes through growth spurts, it may take some time for his body to produce enough chemicals to adapt to his growing. So if you see him heading into what appears to be a growth spurt (hands and feet suddenly look huge, eating way more than usual), be prepared for the bedwetting to return for a week or so. It happens to our daughter almost without fail.

I was a bed wetter until I was almost 8...and my mom tried every home remedy you could think of. (Eating raw honey was the worst!)

Amy

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 1:08pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 3:19pm
Hi!
Our ped said Nick was also a very heavy sleeper and just didnt wake up when he had to go. Do yourself a favor and get the mattress protector with the plastic liner, but extras for middle of the night changes. It saved ours. We also had him in pullups/Good Nights until he was getting up in the night to go. I know there are meds they can give kids to help, but give him a chance to see if he outgrows it first. I'm sure this is hard enough on him. Be understanding as I'm sure he is scared when it happens, Nick always was so embarrassed when he wet the bed, even at 4 1/2, he would cry and keep saying he was sorry. Let him know you had the same problem and it isnt anything to be ashamed of. As far as sleeping in your bed, I will let the other gals pass on their wisdom as Nick was always in his bed. Hope that helps!
Christine

< < Photobucket

Christine

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 5:10pm

As the mom of a five year old ds with PDD-NOS I can offer my support and just tell you how I have handled the whole potty training thing. My ds is extremely spirited in personality and very rebellious. So I made potty training a non-issue. He has hypotonia (low muscle tone) which causes delays so dr had told me potty training would likely be delayed as well. I read him books, we watched Once Opon a Potty video, gave him potty seat very young and just let him practice sitting if he wanted. No pressure. Just before 3.5 years I noticed he was ready. So I waited til Thanksgiving week off from school and we did it. After that he was daytime trained.

He is not nightime trained and he goes to bed with a diaper (he hates pull-ups I think it is a sensory thing). We have a plastic sheet with a mattress pad over that and a sheet over that. He sometimes wets through at night. Every morning his diaper is full/heavy. He is obviously NOT ready! I am waiting for his diaper to be dryer in the mornings before I attempt anything. At our 5 year check-up dr said it is totally normal at this age not to be night trained.

One disclaimer* I have an only child so it didn't matter to me. Other's I'm sure would feel differently:)

My next goal is to get him to wear Goodnights (the pull-up type style will have him screaming) because he is getting too tall for the largest size diaper.

We have a lot of accidents if ds falls asleep for a nap. I mean if he can't make it through a nap is he really ready? It is a bummer having to clean up but we have made some changes to help prevent possible napping accidents. Since we never know what days/times he will nap anymore.

Molly

Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 8:49pm

Hey Jen,


I agree with Paula - I'm so glad you feel safe enough to post something like this.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 9:08pm

My daughter is 5 and still has bedwetting accidents, as well. Not often but often enough. She has a crappy mattress anyway so until we get past this we are holding off for a new. Instead I buy new soft foam pads on top, which is a lot cheaper. Not sure what to tell yea since we do similar things like making sure she pees before bed. When she pees in bed, she doesn't wake! Just keeps on sleeping. eerrr

Shell

MySpace Codes

Pages