This can't go on! HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
This can't go on! HELP!
16
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 1:46am
Ok you guys...this particular problem is driving me nutso even tho I KNOW it isn't his fault. It's the bedwetting! Dakota is 5 and still having accidents! We have tried everything and nothing is getting it done completely. We usually have him go pee right before bed(about 830 or 900), then we wake him up at 130 when dh goes to work to let him pee again. Most of the time he does ok, but once or twice a week he wets the bed! A friend of his spent the night tonite and since ds sleeps in our bed (I sleep on the couch), they both slept there tonite. Well about 15 mins. ago ds wakes up screaming and I find that he has SOAKED the bed! Pillows, blanket, sheet....all of it soaked. Obviously the other kid woke up too(as HIS pillow got wet somehow), so I changed all the bedding, febreezed the whole bed again, and put down 3 thick towels and an afghan for them to sleep on. I gave them MY pillows and sent them back to bed. OMG I am sooooo frustrated by this! I have to febreeze the bed cuz we just cannot afford a new one right now(but SOON!)and we are going to have to put rubber sheets on the new one when we get it so he won't ruin it. I know some of you must think "put him in HIS bed!". Well....MUCH easier said than done! He flat refuses to sleep in there! We have tried and tried...I think it is something he will have to grow out of or I will have to figure out another way to get him to sleep in there. This whole post has been completely humiliating. Thank you for listening anyway. I appreciate any suggestions! By the way, we have tried limiting liquids before bed too....no dice! UGH!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 11:27pm

I feel kinda bad about posting about Lily's night time potty training accomplishment now. But, if it's any consolation, I think I spoke too soon because when I woke her up this morning, she was soaking wet all the way up to her pillow! Yuck! I had a plastic pad on the bed, but it wasn't big enough to catch it all. When she has had these accidents in the past, it never seems to wake her up. Last night was no exception. I guess her bladder just reaches it's limit and she doesn't wake up in time to go to the bathroom. I think the advice about the pull up is great. Lily is very small for her age, so she still fits in diapers so we usually stuck with those. I guess it's like everyone else has said, no matter how badly we want our kids to not have wetting accidents at night, it doesn't matter much until their bodies are physically capable of holding it. From the number of replies you've gotten, it's certainly a common problem. I hope that this situation gets much better for you soon!

Amy~Natalie & Lily's mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 12:56am

{{{Jen}}}

Sweetpea, I can't help you with the accidents. But I can say Chris didn't potty train until he was a full 4 1/2 yrs old.

And we did the family bed for quite along time. In fact I think I told you that we even brought a twin mattress into our room and Tony slept on that on the floor ROFL. Poor guy.

When we finally thought "boy, wouldn't it be nice to be able to be flexible on our "alone time" ie meaning not locking the door in the middle of the day for a quickie, or going into another room after the boys were asleep, (pool tables can be really hard on your bum for example LOL J/k) we slowely worked on moving them out of our room.

What we did was re-decorate their rooms and talk talk talk about what we were doing, what they wanted, what color paint they wanted, what theme, ect..... got them involved ect.

We got them all excited! It worked. And altho they still have intense moments to where they've GOT to sleep with us (in fact 11 yr old is mentioning it right now), I can either talk him out of it, redirect his mind, or heck let him fall asleep and wake him up after an hour, when he's in a deep sleep and say okay dude, get on my back, your going to your room. (this only works if I tell him I plan to do that, before he falls asleep in our bed, and thats the only way I'll let him fall asleep, and he knows that, but he has the comfort of at least falling asleep in our bed, and will be moved when he's in a deep sleep. He weighs 100 pds, I just dont' know what I'm going to do if he gets bigger lol. I think I should start recruiting tony to start doing the carrying.

This is so weird, as I am typing this out, I am pausing telling chris the same thing LOLOLOL. He's threatening that If I take him to his bed when he's asleep, that he will demand to sleep with us for another week lololol. I gave him his melatonin a half hour ago, and I realize he is really tired, and once it really kicks in he won't know the difference.

Another poster mentioned that her children switch sleeping areas all the time, Man I was going Wow! Thats Chris, cuz he changes his places where he sleeps all the time. He's been doing that for years!

He will go from his bed, to the floor, to the downstairs couch, to the chair downstairs, back up to his room and goes back and forth from the floor, to his bed, to his top bunch and ect...

Its really surprising how flexible we all become when we have a child with such rigid behavior. I mean what else are we supposed to do? I don't think other NT people (adults) understand this.

Its so nice to know I can come here and know that others understand!

Good luck Jen! (and Tony told me today you called yesterday, but I didn't get home from work until midnight last night and I was bushed!. Watched a bit of SNL and started snoring away.

Today I mainly watched my grandson (two and everywhere! LOL) I will call ya tomorrow k?

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-1998
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 9:50am

Hugs to you. But let me tell you (as others have) that you are by no means alone. While my Aspie kid trained by 3 1/2, my NT daughter didn't get daytime trained until 2 months before her fourth birthday, and at 4 1/2, she has yet to wake up dry. We just keep her in pull-ups at night. My mom tells me I wet the bed until I was 6 or 7, so I figure I'll give my dd some time, too. (I had two problems--turns out that at age 6, my bladder was still the size of a 2-year-olds, plus I slept the sleep of the dead--I wouldn't even wake for the smoke detector going off!)

Also, my best fried has a 9 yo NT son who still wears Goodnites to bed. He's getting better (they found out he had sleep apnea, and then would go into such a heavy sleep that he couldn't wake up to go pee) and after he had his tonsils out, his sleeping (and being able to get up at night to go pee got better, but he's still not consistently dry. They've never made a big deal about it, and he doesn't even feel embarrassed about wearing Goodnites--that just part of his bedtime ritual.

Good luck. You're in good company!

Elizabeth

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 11:35pm
HI,
I think a lot of us have gone through this issue. I took my son to a urologist for this. He put him on Detrol. Yep the same med. old people take for incontinence, and it worked!!!! He only had about two accidents a month on it. He stayed on it for a while, until we weaned him off a couple times to see if he had outgrown the problem. When he goes through a growth spurt we find he starts wetting the bed again, but after about a month or two, he stops. Just a suggestion, I know how frustrating this can be. Hang in there.
carey
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:10am
Boy do I feel you on this one! My 4 year old wears underwear during the day but no way would I do it at night. He's in pull ups at night. Last night was the FIRST night he woke up to go potty, but his pull up was still wet. Usually he soaks the pull up and wets my bed (yes mine still sleeps with me too). I get so tired of washing sheets. Not to mention my 3 year old is going through this same thing so I usually get a double whammy with sheet washing about 4 times a week. Good thing I stay home huh? So I can be their personal laundry service.
I don't have any suggestions really just wanted to say "I understand".
Bry
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2007
Sat, 06-30-2007 - 1:40am

This too shall pass. Okay, I am a new lurker but your note and frustration just sounded all too familiar. We dealt with the bedwetting through age 7... basically, at a certain point i just threw in the towel. (pardon the pun) and did what i could to "manage" and "plan" for the accidents. We did the plastic sheet protector on the bed, went back to pull ups, did all the "normal" recommendations...less fluids, wake at midnight etc.

Some of the more creative stuff that worked for me...we had him sleep in a sleeping bag...we purchased two and they were easy to put in the wash. Also, used the plasitic sided pads (purchased at Durable med store) ...gave us a break from "trying' told my son that every one's body was different and it would just take time. Finnally at almost 8 years old we went a week naked without pull ups and he "got it" - Still think that if I didnt manage fluids or do that bed time (mine) wake up pee we'd have an issue but was sure great to put it behind (sorry, another pun) us.

good luck!!

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