Charlotte's Web
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| Sat, 12-10-2005 - 11:59pm |
Hi,
Something really great happened yesterday with Jake. He was watching Charlottes Web which he had never seen before. If you know the movie you'll understand what I'm talking about but when it came to the part where the spider is going to die and the pig begins to cry, Jake turned to me and said "Look mom, the pig is sad because the spider is going away". I was stunned because he has never understood something like this before. And tonight he lied about needing his diaper changed just so he could stay up longer. I usually have to wrestle him to the floor to change his diaper. I know it sounds strange to be proud your son has lied to you but I feel great about it(LOL)Progress is wonderful! I just wish I could say the same about DH. We are not talking right now because he refuses to come to my local ASL group for our Christmas party. He can't really give me a reason except to say he can't see the point in taking the kids to a party where the kids don't interact. I think he's uncomfortable when he is faced with kids who are exactly like Jake. He's still in so much denial and I am at a breaking point with him. He's driving me nuts but I refuse to let him ruin my little high about Jake.
Teresa
Teresa

Teresa,
That is awesome about Jake. It is wonderful when they start to 'get' this stuff, right? I remember with Siobhan, it was watching a ballet (of all things) on PBS, and she, -unable to read at the time, started to comment on the goings-on, ("Oh no. the beautiful lady is sad") which aligned pretty well with the subtitles..
As for your DH. He needs more time, I suspect. It took many months for my DH to even mention the "A" word, and now he is Peter's greatest advocate. Those months were tough., though. I felt very alone and underappreciated.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Dear Teresa,
I also added to add my congratulations!!! Those are lovely steps and yes HOORAY FOR JAKE!!! Doesn't it feel great? Our kids work harder for their steps (and so do we) and they are that much sweeter and joyous as they arrive. And it is NOT strange to US that you are excited about him lying, not at all!
I agree with Paula that your dh needs more time. What is so difficult is that everyone responds to these situations so differently. I know you need support from him, but you may not be able to dictate how he supports you in all areas because of his own pain and struggles with the realities ahead of you. And his fear, big time. He will need your support in dealing with his pain, and man oh man, I am betting you are not feeling very patient or tolerant when YOU are working so hard and hurting so much yourself. Many marriages really struggle, even fall apart under our circumstances!!! I've watched a few marriages go down over last 5 years among Malcolm's friends' families. Statistics are not good...
Is it possible for him to provide other support in helping you, spring for a regular housekeeper, run more errands for you, groceries, laundry, dishes, cooking? He may really be able to come around in time, but the problem is right now and what can you do to get by for now?
Just a sidebar : the ASD kids in Malcolm's circle DO interact, better and better as they get older, and these type of relaxed gatherings have been very helpful in learning socialization without so many NT kids dominating the action that they can't keep up with. If you'd like to mention this to your dh. Well, OK, if you decide to talk again LOL.
yours,
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Teresa,
That's wonderful!!! Isn't it great to see progress!? WTG Jake! I still get blown away when Nathan makes a comment or asks a question about something he's watching. It doesn't happen very often....actually very rarely....but it sure is nice when it does!!
michelle