Cian...tough time...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2007
Cian...tough time...
5
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 12:20pm

Many of you know Cian's 1st grade school year has not been a fabulous experience. We requested an inclusion placement as we foolishly though an extra teacher in the room could only benefit him. Well, I was lead to believe inclusion meant invisible disabilities (ASD, Vision impairment etc) what it really means in this school is low IQ and moderate LD's. The class was so low they abandoned inclusion reading and math altogether and sent many of them directly to resource. Cian was too high in math so he has to go next door to reg ed math class.

All year we have had motivational issues where he just couldn't be bothered and especially with testing would answer anything just to get it done. Recent report card had him technically meeting standards for everything except creative writing (shocker...not) and reading (directly related to his testing as he is in fact a very fluent reader
This week I received this note from his teacher

"Over the past couple of days Cian has seemed to not put forth a real effort on any of his assignments. He just sits at his desk with his head down; even in specials (art, PE, Music) he is choosing not to participate. This is a real concern, especially with GCRT approaching. If you can think of anything that will motivate Cian to do his best,let me know. Thanks for your continued support."

I am raging over this as I have been beating my head against a brick wall about his lack of motivation with his teachers for TWO years. His Kindy teacher tried so hard and right when it was clicking it was summer. His current teacher is very basic and doesn't think out of the box at all. She is very test driven which is not what I feel is necessary with Cian. I know there a self contained setting (with pull in and push out for reg ed too) at Liam's school (K-2 so he wouldn't even be in Liam's class). But I sense a massive battle on our hands with his current IEP team. His case holder even feels Liam should be back in his homeschool as he's "so high functioning". She's just dealt with too many moderate-severe cases over the years.

I talked with Liam's teacher who teaches the 3-6 class and off the record she agreed it is at least worth discussing it with the sped facilitator. I just want what's appropriate for Cian; I sense he is becoming somewhat depressed over school; he's acting out more too.

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 4:32pm

Dee,
I'm not trying to say this to rub it in at all, but Chris is actually doing very well in school right now. He has gone from absolutely HATING school, so much that as you know we had to go in front of a Truancy judge more than once, to a kid thats happy, has hardly had any absenses and is a different kid this year. He may never LOVE school, but he certainly doesn't hate it anymore.

You know what did it? His placement and amount of support he now gets.

You go get um momma bear! You know what your kid needs so be that squeaky wheel (even more lol) and just convince them that he needs something different for his IEP, that obviously isn't working right now.

I wish I could give ya a real hug.... {{{hug}}}

Avatar for ralenth
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 5:47pm
Sorry that he is struggling :( First grade was really, really tough for Alex. He hated school last year. This year he is doing so much better - he has a teacher that fits his needs, and a lot more supports in place. Though, I really think his success this year is due to the teacher (who really "gets" Alex). I hope you find something that helps him :(
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 8:40pm

Dee,

I'm so sorry to hear that Cian is having a rough time.

I was just having a conversation with a mom whose kid (a really nice boy) has ADD, and how teachers love to send home notes saying, "Today your child CHOSE not to do his personal best." It was soooo nice to have a talk with someone who understands. I'm not a very social, chatty person, but I wanted that conversation to go on forever.

I only know what it's like for my two boys, and I acknowledge that we are not a typical family. But if a kid (any kid) has his head down on his desk and isn't participating, shouldn't that be a sign that something is bothering him? Are there really that many kids out there who simple "choose" to not do well, for some reason?

This hits a nerve for me because currently my 3rd grader (NT) is having a terrible time in school, and the teacher is convinced that he's copying his big brother's behavior, and "choosing"...blah blah blah. Why would a kid choose to be depressed all day?

I wish I had some answer or words of wisdom. I know how hard it can be...only I can't imagine having three kids. I'm past my limit with two!

All I can say is: beer!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2007
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 11:14am

Ta ladies,

The facilitator recommended I chat with his current school psychologist who actually is very familiar with the program I want for him. I just feel I'll get some resistance from his current IEP case holder. She's known Cian since pre-K and is convinced he can and will be successful in this least restrictive environment. My argument is even with OT, Speech, social skills, these supports obviously aren't enough. His grades are ok, (with a couple of no meeting standards in writing and reading...all test related), but no where near what he could get if he had the supports to get him there.

Cian needs to be revved up and then he does great. But if he's not allowed some sensory revving he will sit with his head on the table all day. I asked for a mini tramp or therapy ball in the room and was shot down as it would be "distracting" for the other students...ugh! I want him moved, dh is nervous it will be a class of non-verbals. Thing is even with that he will get reg ed for lots with a para helping him; something he will NEVER get in his current placement. The psychologist acknowledged my email and said he's get back to me next week; several limbs crossed y'all;)

Dee

Avatar for ralenth
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 2:49pm
What about asking for sensory breaks. Taking him out of the classroom for a break when he needs it (still use tramp or whatever else he needs to get his engine correct). Alex's teacher implemented sensory breaks for him this year, and it really was a life saver for him. He started out getting 5-7 a day (he's in 2nd grade). He's now on focalin, and is only getting 1-2 a day (after recess - he can't transition from recess back to the classroom without a sensory break). Alex's were not for revving up his engine, but for revving it down, if that makes sense - but it is the same issue.
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