Closing doors...to be alone???
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| Sun, 10-02-2005 - 8:56pm |
Nathan has started this "fascination" with closing doors. He now closes and LOCKS the bathroom door. He used to just leave the door wide open...even if company was over!! LOL Today I found him in his closet (he has a walk in closet), with the door closed. He had the light on, and was playing on the floor. This from a child who doesn't like to be left alone in this big house!!! (apparently, he's gotten used to his new house!) He even runs into the mud room and closes that door on occasion. Then, today he also went into the den and closed the dbl doors there too.
And when he's in the bathroom, he stands there.....thinking. I've seen him doing this, before the "closing" of the doors began. I'm not sure that's it's privacy that he wants, or that he wants to stim alone??!! I hate to keep interrupting him, but I don't want this to be a new routine for him. And I don't want him stimming constantly either. I don't mind the stimming, I just don't want him in his own world all the time. I want him to have somewhat of a balance of alone time AND interaction.
Did any of your kids do something similiar? Tyler is so social that he's always in my face!! LOL I still find it difficult when Nathan runs off to be alone. I wish he could tell me why he does this. As of yet, he hasn't been able to.
Michelle

Just to let you know that Sylvia does the same thing: she goes into her room, closes the door, and plays by herself. She's done this from a *very* early age (right around the time she turned 2) -- we actually taught her to do it, because she tended to freak out so much when other people came into the house and invaded her space. So it seemed to be a good solution to teach her that, when she wants to be alone, she can go into her room and close the door. She started doing this a lot more when my son, who was born when Sylvia was 21 months old, became mobile; it was the only way she could keep him from ruining her toys and disrupting her very routine-oriented play. She'll be turning 4 at the end of December and she's been spending much less time in her room these days, not sure why. It does worry us when she spends *so* much time alone in her room -- like you said, we don't want her to completely disappear into her own world -- but at the same time, it seems to be a really important coping mechanism for her, KWIM? When she's ready to be among people again, she opens the door and comes out, so usually we let her be alone when she needs to be...
This doesn't sound entirely similar to Nathan, because as I said Sylvia started this behavior very early, and she's very adamant about wanting to "BE ALONE!!!" So I have no idea if this is just a temperament issue for her, or if it's related to her PDD... I'm very interested to learn if anyone else has dealt with this kind of behavior...
Jennifer
My son, age 3.5 does something a bit similar. For about a year, when Eric woke up in the morning he would play in his room by himself. Since he wakes up very early, this was fine with us. We still use a baby monitor so we can hear him if he has a problem. We still have the child proof cover on the door knob because he would wander around the house if left to his own devices.
Often, Eric would tell me "Momma go away" when I came to his room in the morning. At first this really upset me. I am a morning person and I wanted to come and say, "I love you, sweetie" in the morning, but he would have none of it. I think Eric needs more time to ease into his day. So instead I started telling him that I was up too. I open his door and quietly tell him I am going downstairs and that he can call or come find me when he is ready. This seems to work better and when he finally is ready, after some alone time, he is in a better mood.
Now he has started going into his room to play after school as what he calls "quiet time." We sort of started this. He used to take an afternoon nap, but now does not, although he still needs it. I told him he didn't have to sleep, but that he should go in his room and play quietly for an hour. Sometimes he would fall asleep, sometimes not. Often I would find him under the covers all the way with all the pillows piled on him. He calls this his "tent." He does sometimes stim during these periods. But I figure he needs a place of his own and a little privacy.
Now, whenever he is over-stimulated at home he goes into his room, closes the door and goes under his "tent." I think it is ok that he does this, maybe even good. Rather than having a tantrum, he seems to recognize that he needs a "time out" and goes to his safe place. I never interfere with this.
At his school, they have a "quiet" area which is a bean bag chair that is covered by a tent made of mosquito netting. I am thinking of doing something similar at home for him, or maybe getting him a real bed tent, as others here have done.
Anyway, I don't think wanting to be alone is necessarily a bad thing, as long as it is in moderation. I also don't think it is that unusual.
Katherine
Hi,
I too have a ds that does the same thing.