Concerned about my 8 year old DD (m)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2005
Concerned about my 8 year old DD (m)
4
Sat, 12-01-2007 - 3:07pm

Hi everyone. I am Shannon, mom of 3 children. Caitlin-10, Riley-8 and Colin-3.


From the beginning I always thought Riley (my 8 year old DD) was different. So many people told me not to compare my then 2 children, as every child is different. Ok I know this. But being that I had 2 children 22 months apart, I just saw differences. Where my oldest crawled at 7 months, Riley crawled at 11. Where my oldest walked just days before she turned 1, Riley walked at over 14 months. Her speach was delayed and I always remember her not talking as much or as well as my oldest. When she was 4, she started pre-school. I remember getting her Eval in March and she only knew 2 letters R and B (for Riley and Baby) I had just had my son. By this time Riley was 5. It was determined that she needed glasses so we thought that was the issue.But she never said anything about not being able to see.


When she started kindergarten this is where the red flags started popping up. She would not decide on which hand she wanted to use. This continued well into first grade where she finally settled on her right hand. She was not doing well academically and I figured she had a learning disability. Her 1st grade teacher assured me she was fine, but what was on her report card and what we saw at home were 2 different things. Despite contacting the teacher several times, we were assured over and over that she was fine.


In second grade it was apparent from day one that something was not right. Her first progress report wa marked at risk for retention. She was unable to do things that the 1st grade teacher said she was proficient in. The very same differences we saw at home. I requested my SST right then. How could a child drop from 3's to 1's in review work in just 2.5 months. The SST was quick to request testing on her. The testing revealed she was a "slow learner" however the night before we got the test results we had found out she had hashimoto's thyroiditis and hypothyroidism. We started her on Synthroid and what a difference it made. She went from reading at a 1.6 grade level in January to a 3.1 grade level by the end of second grade. However her math skills still are not up to par and she is receiving title 1 math.


Her social skills have always been questionable. Even at her own parties when her friends would come over, she would sit away from them while they played. If she has playdates she'll sit by herself. She is generally good one on one. We always thought her lack of interest in playing was from being hypothyroid and having lack of energy, but she has been on the meds for 9 months now and no changes. Speaking of change, she HATES any change in her routine. She almost panics if we want to take a different way to school or once on campus if I try to walk a different route she stops in her tracks and pulls on my arm. She seems to have a flat affect most of the time and I am always concerned she isn't feeling well. Sometimes when I ask her questions, simple things like are you hungry, what do you want to eat...etc she just stares at me as if she didn't hear me and I ask her over and over again. She will be 9 in march and she talks baby talk all the time. If I correct her she attempts to speak in a regular voice, but for the most part it's baby like talk. She is drawn to children younger than her. For instance on Thanksgiving we were at my sisters house. There were her boys (13, 11 and 7 and my 3 kids 10, 8 and 3) she chose to play with my son (3) and then the other children who showed up (6, 4, and 3) instead of the older kids. She didn't interact with the older kids at all. She would stand off and watch them or sit with my husband or me.


I am concerned she may have asperger syndrome. They have refered her to the school psychologist because they feel she has anxiety. But at home she is my most well behaved child. She listens, she doesn't argue back but she does retreat and pull the "I can't it's too hard" card a lot. She will have outbursts if she is frustrated. She also takes everything my DH and I say literally. Even if we are joking it will send her into tears. We can't joke with her. We have to be very careful what we say.


With clothing, this child drives me nuts. She refuses to wear jeans. She says they bother her skin. I swear, we just cleaned out her drawers and threw out at least 10 pairs of perfectly good jeans. She only wears skirts (non jean type) and soft velour/sweat style pants. She still cannot tie her shoes despite repeated attempts to teach her and she is just now learning to shower alone. Even still I need to stand outside the shower and remind her of the steps. Wet hair, get shampoo, rinse hair. etc... At almost 9 she would prefer to be in the tub with my 3 year old! She finally learned to ride a 2 wheeler this past summer, but is still scared to do it and isn't very good at it. Another thing that just came to mind. My 3 year old (he'll be 4 in 2 months) has been able to work the DVD player and the playstation for the longest time, where Riley still can't figure it out and still can't even use the remote to the TV. As for obsessions, she doesn't have one per se, but she will get obsessed with certain things like a new movie or toy or item of clothing she really loves and she will want to wear it, sleep with it, play with it all the time. Even brings it to the dinner table. Well I take that back, Tinkerbelle has been her favorite thing for the past few years. Also Hannah Montana. She also becomes obessed with me signing her assignment notebook, tests or notes right when she gets home or as soon as she is done with homework. She actually stand in front of me with the pen and book and says over and over to me mommy my assignment notebook, you have to sign. She was recently out of school for a week with bronchitis and I had said I would write a note so she didn't have to participate in running or PE until her cough calmed down. This was a Friday evening. She was on me all weekend to write the note and wouldn't let up. I assured her I'd write the note and did so Monday morning before I took her to school, but this was hard for her.


Academically she is doing well in everything but math. She loves to write stories and is very creative with them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Sat, 12-01-2007 - 8:40pm

Hi, and Welcome!


I think you have the right idea for pushing for a Medical Dx.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sat, 12-01-2007 - 8:44pm

Hello and welcome to the board,


It is impossible to say over the Internet if your daughter has Aspergers. There are some red flags, and I think you are right to have her evaluated and to seek help for her at school. Both my kids have IEPs and it has made the word of difference to them. However we have never received a diagnosis for my own daughter. She is 7.5 and definitely quirky, but even today I still wonder if it is ADD or Asperger's or something else entirely. I think we will understand better when she is a little older. Some kid are just not easily pigeonholed, you know? The school

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2007
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 7:50pm

Hi Shannon,

Welcome to the group. I also recently joined, and the group members are very supportive. My 5yo son has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS, and I see some of his characteristics in Riley: speech delay (for Aspergers, there is no noticeable speech delay), late establishment of hand dominance, tactile sensitivity (my son is tactile seeking though), fine motor control issues, lack of organizational/sequencing skills, selective hearing, difficulty with transitions, and social skills deficit. I would definitely have the be evaluated by a professional like a neuropsychologist. Has Riley been evaluated by the school system? If not, you should ask the school in writing for an evaluation so that she may qualify to be getting special services through an IEP.

-- Innie

Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 3:49pm

I agree, mummy instinct is always right, and if something feels 'wrong' to you then get your DD evaluated. Impossible to say over the internet but it doesn't sound like Asperger's to me, but it does sound like *something*.

Welcome to the board.

Kirsty