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| Thu, 07-20-2006 - 10:05pm |
After months and months of work, raising the levels of Zoloft (which we are still in observation/wait mode about) and a thorough behavioral modification program that Malcolm was responding very well to, Malcolm went way out of control today, hit 2 teachers, bit a teacher hard, and (big mistake) went after the principal, a lovely woman. He is both very sorry and very, very upset and angry tonight.
And the school, after 5 and a half months, wants him out. We have a big pow-wow tomorrow with the school. I think they are overreacting because of what happened today, when he has been doing so well and we are stil in the transition onto the drug. I am furious. We have gathered our big guns, his psychiatrist, therapist, our evaluator. They cannot come to the meeting but are willing to be called and discuss along with the meeting...
We could consider taking him back to ASD school, or maybe homeschooling awhile and then regrouping. He is so sad and hating school, any school, and what is so frustrating is how many GAINS he has made since starting the new school. We would think this MIGHT be the Zoloft, except he really has done well for over 3 months on it, although it is possible. Doctor just feels we would see more difficulty across the board if that is the case, and we haven't, not really.
Anyways, cross your fingers for us. He has made new friends at the school, 2 boys he really likes. That was hard going for him, but he did it. He has never really settled into the class exactly, but he seemed on his way until today. And today there was of course a series of misunderstandings that just got way out of control, escalated by a command by a teacher that Malcolm found highly unfair. When he gets into that sense of unfairness nad feels like he is not being listened to, he really can go out of control.
Sigh. Sigh. Scary. Need a new life...
Sara
ilovemalcolm

((((((Sara))))))
Oh man, I am so sorry. That sounds like a horrible day and a scary situation for you. What do the others on your team say? Do they think it could be the meds? Could it be just a one time thing?
I really hope you get some answers. I will be saying a prayer for you tomorrow. Is Malcolm on summer session and the schedule is different and that could be why he is off? Who knows sometimes huh?
Renee
Hi Renee,
It is more complicated than that. He is SO much more present and involved these days, great stuff, exciting --- but he is also having big troubles sometimes with "authority". He wants to be more involved with decision making, he's been following instructions all his life, but now he doesn't always want to and he wants things explained! Not just because "teacher says so". He chooses to take himself out of activities in school that he finds overwhelming and the school has been working on an hour-by-hour program that doesn't involve getting out of work, but can involve reading quietly to calm himself, etc. And then he is still responsible for the work. I was so hopeful -- he has managed so many difficult situations recently and been so proud. But there have been other "un-safe body" incidents earlier at this school, almost all with teachers, and a few big ones. Just not in last month and a half. And during most of them, we have been working on med levels. But this started before we added meds...
Yesterday, the teacher involved was NOT one of his classroom teachers, although not completely unknown to him. Once he had hit her, he then later really got upset because he had broken the "safe body" rule he has been working on for months. I think he was then overwhelmed by sense of failure. And staff tried talking to him about consequences WAY too soon! Big blow out.
I think the school is just afraid of him now, he's SO big. When he goes into this physical reaction, he can be scary. If he were with me, I would be able to stop him from going there in the first place, it really doesn't come out of nowhere or quickly and there are many things Malcolm tries to do rather than go there, such as arguing his point insistently with a loud, rising voice. That loud rising voice is never allowed at home, we always have to take a calming time out and then rework the situation in a manageable way. And there are consequences if he doesn't stop the voice and regroup.
The doctor feels we haven't yet found a therapeutic level of drug, that he is able to manage for awhile but it isn't effective over time. He feels we have option of raising level again or switching to another SSRI, don't know yet what we will decide. But if this school really isn't going to work with him, well, we can certainly take the rest of summer off -- although I want him to go for at least another week because we have to try and end on positive note! and we will go with him - easy to do as they are studying theatre and I am an actor, have actually gone in a few times to teach his class acting exercises. Tomorrow I am going with class on field trip to see plays, parents are invited anyways on field trips, but usually I can't go. I quickly cleared my schedule. And if he has to leave school, I do NOT know what we will do next. I think homeschool, or rather UNschool awhile, until we figure out med levels and where to go next. Sigh. Or maybe ASD school again...
We also could suggest a shadow, yup, an aide. I'd rather try that then take him out, but I don't know yet if school will be willing. They were pretty het up when we were talking on phone right after incident(s), we shall see if cooler heads prevail today.
Thanks for the hugs. Tonight I feel like I would like lots of hugs and crying, dh and I have done some of that already. My gut is that Malcolm is in throes of SO much development, this is a delicate time. We have been in the process of talking more about dx, alowly, when discussing the "difficulties in his brain about anger" last night (his description), he was able to give me a very accurate list of the other children he knows who have this same exact difficulty!!! Very observant, very big picture.
Hope and fear, what shall we do with our super bright boy?
Sara
((((((Sara)))) sending PP&T that your meetign goes well.
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big hugs and prayers for you guys.
Samantha
(((Sara)))
I hope it was just the "unfairness" of the situation. My kids (NT, ADD and ASD) don't do well w/ unfair situations and teachers that won't listen. I hope you're able to figure out something that helps and that Malcolm is in the best place possible. I'm so sad that the new school wants him out after this one incident.
Betsy
((((((((((Sara)))))))))),
I agree with Tina, the school seems to be overreacting.
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(((((Sara)))) sending hugs your way.
What a rough spot you're in!!! Sigh...I'm so sorry the school freaked out on you guys like that. You're so on the ball with Malcolm's therapies....etc I know that you'll do what you need to to get him in the best placement. So glad you have a bunch of people in your corner!!!
Thinkin' about you guys.....Chrystee
((((HUGS))))
As you said yourself.......hopefully cooler heads will prevail with a little time.......I know the phone call I got when my son bit the guidance counselor (bit so hard he broke skin) and damaged several classroom items was an awful phone call......the principal said that I need to get him intensive therapy if I wanted to continue to send him to her school......by time I got there, things cooled down.....
This sucks......I hope what ever happens is for Malcolm's best interests.....whatever that may be at this time......Good Luck!
Hang in there.....
Christie