Curious .... clothing issues, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Curious .... clothing issues, etc.
23
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 4:30pm

OK - for several months when my ds was three, he refused to wear anything but a particular pair of pajamas. So I got 6 or 7 sets of the ones he liked.

At some point, he finally decided it was OK to wear clothes and his favorite thing was shirts with blue stripes and blue pants. They didn't have to be identical - phew! - and he actually chose several of the shirts himself. The pants I made at home so I could make them the way he wanted them. He finally got to feeling OK about wearing sweat pants from the store.

Finally the beginning of this winter, he was amenable to wearing all kinds of different shirts. For several months, he had fun picking out what he was going to wear each day and putting the clothing into day-of-the-week cubbies. Sometimes I had trouble getting him to pick something out and to get dressed, but at least he liked his clothes and I was tickled that he didn't look the same each day.

So, we are in summer and his Dad got him some shorts he really has liked. Because it seems to help if we've got more than one of something he likes to wear, I went and got a few more pairs of that type of shorts. I noticed that the store had shirts that could be paired with the shorts - but it is so late in the season, there was only one shirt in the right size. I picked it up - what the heck - it was only $3.

So this morning when my ds was picking out his clothes, we ended up having a huge tantrum/meltdown. The problem was that now the other shorts 'needed' the shirt that matched to them! Arggghhh! Is this type of thing typical? Just when you think you've got it figured out, something happens and your kid reacts violently and you feel like you are back at square one. It took about 45 minutes to get him settled down and be willing to accept the choices he had available to him.

When I tried to talk about it at work, people said that I just needed to tell him to get dressed or take him to daycare with no clothes on. Can you imagine doing that? Has anyone tried that? I did once and it was horrible! I explained what would happen if I had tried to force him into the van with no clothes on. They seemed to think that if I got my ex to help out more, somehow that'd help - that we just needed to be consistent and that, of course, my son knew what he was doing, that his behavior was thought out and deliberate. Perhaps that is possible???? He is only 6, so I cannot imagine that he is truly being deliberate about this.

I guess I am surprised that it seems like sometimes, I'll find something that works with my ds - like the clothing cubbies - and then after a few months, he loses interest or becomes obsessed about some other aspect of whatever it is. Does that happen to any of you out there???

I feel rather at the end of my rope today and so frustrated. Sometimes I'm just so surprised what will set off my ds. Sometimes all it takes is for me to say anything at all when he doesn't want his thoughts interrupted!




Edited 7/7/2006 4:34 pm ET by abbynwb

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 9:35pm
It is amazing the things we, as parents, have to keep up with. Everyone in this house knows his issues of the moment and we all are accomdating to him. Sometimes I wonder if that is what we are suppose to do. Since it is easier to comply with his current desires, than to not- I bet that means we are doing the wrong thing. My daughter (12) is on board with everything as well. She had a friend spend the night last night and they got up to have cereal. Her brother wasn't up yet and she told her friend where the bowls were. As soon as she saw the bowl she got, she hurried up and got up to get her another one because everyone knows that is her brothers bowl and lord knows we do not want to start the monring off like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 2:00am
When I talked to the teachers about the thumb sucking problem I was told that they try to discourage it because it is a specific behavior that other children associate with "babies". I guess the other students give thumb suckers a difficult time about "acting like a baby" and the teachers try to help by getting rid of the behavior. It's hard to get everyone involved to understand that there are reasons you, as a parent, might not want to get rid of a behavior...hell, that one is at least quiet and familiar. I'm sure they'd feel much better to have her running in circles, flapping her arms and tweeting every time there's an uncomfortable situation (as she does at home in phases).
Avatar for googolplex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 3:00am

David, my 8 year old AS child, will only wear sweatpants and T-shirts. He won't wear shorts or sandals, even though it gets hot. He won't wear pants with a fly. He did wear a button-up shirt for class pictures in kindergarten...(because it had frogs on it, and reminded him of a frog costume from a Spy Fox computer game.) He insisted on also wearing a plastic Mr. Potato Head bow tie.

Nathan, my NT 4.5 year old, will not wear underwear. He has never tried on a pair. He will only wear his pull on camoflage "military pants." Actually it's not that bad. He will wear his grey sweatpants, but he puts up a fuss.

I remember when I took him to get evaluated by the school district. They wanted to observe him in a preschool setting, and since he didn't attend preschool, they had him join the kids at the local child development center (which is the closest thing we have to a district run preschool, mostly for low income people.) I had to wait near the entrance while he was in a classroom, and I watched a mom bring in her son, who was wearing his pajamas. I felt like I had a pretty good idea what her mornings were like.

Evelyn

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