Dave's IEP is Friday and have some ?s

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Dave's IEP is Friday and have some ?s
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Thu, 08-28-2003 - 11:54am
Well, the post Candes made to njbeachma got me thinking and wondering.

Pretty much here is the deal. I pretty much expect that he will not qualify for services. His language was fine, his speech has some difficulties particularly with s blends but nothing to severe I guess (particularly in a quiet testing environment, quite hard to understand conversationally), and the private OT we had done showed no fine motor delays but a number of sensory issues and recommended OT. He also has a number of behavioral issues I will get more into in a minute. However he has no cognitive or language delays, in fact he could be considered advanced. Out state and this school are notorious for only providing services to children with significant language or cognitive delays. As a matter of fact until recently motor skills difficulties were not considered a stand alone service so a child with CP who had no other delays than motor could concievably not qualify. Mike in preschool showed more behavioral difficulties during his testing and he did not qualify.

I have taken him to a number of professionals who say no ASD (he is way to interactive with them and adults in general, he is mostly interactive with other kids too, but that varies), but can't quite figure out what is up with him.

Here's the problem. I reading Candes post about how children should learn a behavior in less than 6 months. Well as you know we have had significant difficulties with David's behavior. Mostly hyperactivity and aggressions though he has also hoarded food, breaks things and occasionally lines things, mostly in piles around the playroom or the big boxes. Not a very organized thing. I have a very difficult time taking him anywhere. If he is waiting or there are a large number of people around. He pulls and runs away, becomes aggressive or really withdrawn. When putting him in school he became really withdrawn not really interacting much at all, but followed all the rules and went to all the activities. HE would interact when asked too and would play with the saem toys as other kids, though I am not sure if he really interacted. He does at times but not always. The teacher was concerned that he had no language. When I worked in the class he did have outbursts. Typically that is the way it goes. When mom is around and he gets overstimulated he gets hyper and aggressive. When mom is not around he becomes withdrawn. He gets overstimualted mostly in crowds. At my in laws when all the cousins come over he is usually hiding on the side of the house or in a car crashing into the adults chairs. At McD's he is fine if it is just us, but the transformation is incredible as soon as another group of kids show up and usually I have to catch him and drag him out.

So, do I fight for services? DO I just keep working with him at home on SI stuff and behaviors and hope for the best when he goes to school? Since I had 2 other kids with issues I was used to this and planned on treating him myself until school anyway. I was starting to think he was just a spirited kid and I needed to work harder on him myself, but I read a lot of Dave in the previous post.

OK, To long, but I need to make some decisions in the next couple of days.

Renee

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Registered: 07-11-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 6:08pm
Well, hmmm. I didn't mean to confuse you, Sweety. I think if I were in your shoes I would do what I could to get services for the issues you can. He obviously isn't going to get a full load of them, but what ever you CAN get would probably be helpful. I doubt he'll be put into IE preschool, just not enough problems that they can really help with at this point. But any extra therapies he has coming you should push for. IEPs frustrate the heck out of me, so as far as what to say I might not be the best person to ask.

I wanted to comment on the behvioral issues, but Eva has just informed me it's time for her math class. And for her, the schedule MUST NEVER be broken. Sigh. LOL I'l try to get back to you tonight. Also, what were you planning on doing with Dave at home? I have Eva doing a full Kindergarten program (she is Hyperlexic) and it's been helping a lot.

Peace,

Candes

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 12:21pm
I didn't think he would get a full load of services or be put in the preschool program. I just don't think he would qualify for any services. Problem is that he is one of those kids caught in the middle. Can't function in a regular preschool but doesn't qualify for a special preschool.

What I guess hit me from the post is what "typical children" do behaviorally. I am so used to having children with behavioral issues and special needs that I never realized a child whould learn to stop a behavior that quickly or easily. I was starting to think he was just a spirited child. Upon further watching I really think it is more than that. I also am still concerned about BP. My friend was commenting how great Dave is doing lately. He is much more redirectable. Problem is historically that changes pretty quick. Since he was a tot he will stop sleeping as well, then stop eating, then his behavior and even ability to interact go into the toilet.

On the other hand he is so rigid and has some oddities that make me wonder if he got bit by just a little bit of the AS bug. Not enough to be considered fully on the spectrum, but just some shades of it.

It is frustrating with these guys stuck in the middle. They really don't get any extra understanding or help out in the school world, but have a real struggle trying to maintain. Having frustrations again with Mike. That poor kid is getting depressed and his teacher isn't at all flexible. I hate to deal with the same thing all over again, which is why I figure I will just go it alone this time. The only services he was able to access was to get meds. Not my favorite idea. Ended up taking him off all but a small dose of luvox for the incredible anxiety he has been having. Sad but true, that is about all that is available. Finally due to the bug phobia he was able to begin seeing a psycholigist. It has been the one really good thing for him.

I am honestly to the point where I don't want to go through the doctor thing and get a diagnosis for Dave. I don't want to put him on meds at all and a diagnosis won't do him any other good right now. At home, I don't really have academics planned for him, more social activities like swimming, playdates, the park, reading and sensory activities. He is not a big fan of academics. Hates writing and all that goes with it. He does enjoy computer games. He can learn academics next year when I try him in a preschool program again.

Honestly it was so much easier with Cait because she was significantly delayed. She made more improvements during ehr preschool years and is doing wonderfully this year. She still has her needs, but they are being addressed and understood and she is making progress. Dealing with her is way easier and she qualifies for an IEP. Mike who is having a uch tougher time doesn't. His teacher won't even modify his homework or take 2 minutes to talk to me without giving me attitude.

Ok, I have vented enough. Actually I am the person who knows and undersatnds the IEP stuff, and I am truly thinking your position of homeschooling the kiddo's is the better one. Being a family of teachers (both dh and I) I always wanted to believe that services available through school would be the best option. But these kids in the middle, well any kid lately, it is a tough call particularly in CA.


PS. Gotta tell you a story. Ya know that boy I mentioned previously who is bipolar and in a day treatment program now. He cannot meet Kindergarten standards and should be in 3rd grade. He most likely will be going residential in the next few years. When he was 3 he didn't qualify for special ed either. Even though he had a diagnosis of BP and others at teh age of 3.

Renee

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 5:20pm
Yup, it IS rather frustrating with the ones who are stuck in the middle. I really wish more individual services were available for singular traits. But also remember that homeschooling isn't necessarily the answer. While its worked wonders for my kids it's not for everyone. But that's a personal decision for you and your DH to make. I'm of the opinion that parent's have the right to educate their children as they see fit (as long as it isn't abusive). If you guys ever decide to walk in our shoes let me know. I’d be happy to help you anyway I can.

That's so sad to hear bout that little boy. It's a prime example of why I stress that parents should know the dif between BPD/ADHD co morbidity and ASD. BP can become a really big deal if left unchecked and untreated. Also, in Dave's case, remember, he's only 3, a lot of these things can't be ruled out yet. Just stay on your toes, love him till he squeals, and do what you can for him at home. Oh, and just for the record, I don't normally give kids Eva and Dave's age academics. Personally I think that is the age where they need to be learning manners and communication. Eva is only doing the K work b/c she is Hyperlexic and is already reading. She understands most of Jade's schoolwork (except the science, lol) and gets really mad if I tell her she's too little to do it too. She really likes her academics, so what the heck, right? I can teach her good manners while she's learning how to make plaster casts of animal tracks....."Please pass me the 6" wooden form.... thank you." LOL

Okay, gotta go, DH just came home from work early to help clean up for my sister's visit. I better let him a have a few minutes to play online before he melts.

Peace,

Candes

Peace,
Candes  
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:02pm
renee,

i don't think this will help you any but i had/have a similar situation here. my son is a very high functioning aspie. his biggest issue is socialization, some sensory issues and handwriting/reading stuff (okay, there is some adhd but he is homeschooled so i have no problem with that). the psych who diagnosed my son said that they often have underlying speech issues and i should have him evaluated. well, here (and i think elsewhere as well) the school district is the first place to go for evaluation and help - my insurance won't even consider it until the school has done their evals. i didn't think my son would qualify because his speech is fine to me. i really wanted him to go for a social skills class but didn't think that would happen unless he qualified for speech. well, guess what. my son passed the receptive and expresive lang. tests no prblem. i requested a pragmatics speech test and viola' he failed. i'm not entirely sure it was because he couldn't but that at some point he wouldn't do the test. it doesn't matter because it was the key to getting us in. otherwise i am not so sure he would have been considered as qualified. now, bugsy is homeschooled and goes to social skills class mon-fri and speech once a week. the speech teacher probably wonders WHY she has this kid but i am happy to have him in a social skills class. okay, you might be wondering WHY i am telling you this but does your district have services other than speech, ot and pt? i found out about the social skills class at the iep and was very glad to have bugsy put in. if we never got in, he would still be homeschooled full time and probably going more to his behavior therapist. but as it is, we are going to s.s. class everyday and have cut back on the behavior therapy.

so short story long, i'm for homeschooling but if you can get services go for it. some people are against anythng having to do with public schools but if you can make it work for you then its worth a try at least.

don't know if this helped any whatsoever but thought i would ramble a bit

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