dd / regression
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| Tue, 02-14-2006 - 11:16am |
Dd is going through a regression. I don't really have a group I belong to for her (anxiety/Selective Mutism) so I hope you don't mind me talking about it here. She had been doing so well all this school year. Friday was her first day back at school after her long bout with the flu. I suspect this regression is due in part to her being out of school for so long and also physical effects of the illness. She "froze" at school on Friday and had to spend the whole day in the resouce room. She did ok at home friday night and saturday. But Sunday she got mad at her cousin and she spiralled down from there. She's being very defiant, anxious, and unhappy -not her usual self. She's refusing to take her supplements which she needs badly right now. She wouldn't get out of the car this morning for school. I had to take her in to the office and hand her off to the receptionist. We haven't had to do that since last year :( I hate to see her this way. Its like we've lost over a year of progress in 2 days.
She is supposed to go to ballet tonight. I'm really worried how that is going to go. She missed the first class last week because of her illness. Send some prayers she won't have a panic attack. Thanks
Samantha

I bet top bucks that she is still not feeling great, really. This regression is because of the illness. I would give her at least the next week, maybe longer, and you will see she will pretty much be back to normal. Anxiety is so overwhelming, and being sick is terribly frightening to young children with any communication difficulty. They don't understand what happeneed, they become very clingy and needy and just plain old freaked out. And regress. But it is temporary, as they feel better and dare go back more and more, they improve.
She's pretty young, right? School is still pretty new, in long run? Took her quite awhile to get used to it? Has she been real sick often, or is this type of strong illness a relatively new experience? Did she have trouble with throwing up? On some level, she may be blaming the supplements. There's a reason for everything. Being freaked about an illness is not a real regression, in my book. Wait a few weeks and if things actually get worse, maybe.
She will needs lot of extra cuddles and reassurance to re-emerge. Maybe skip that ballet class until next week, esp. if she's still having rough times today in a known like school, I sure would. I think you want to avoid panic attacks when trying new activities, now may not be quite right time yet. What's the big deal, when she feels more secure in life (like, sure she's not dying...) then she can try ballet again. She also missed first class? It might actually not matter to wait another week, or even why not put off starting ballet until next session and try again that way, when she's a little older...
Lowering anxiety for kids with issues just takes extra work, but it is not impossible. I have, however, found that it takes alot more patience on my part!
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Sara,
Hannah is 7yrs and in second grade. This yr her anxiety was under control enough that we didn't have to perodically drag her out of the car and into school. When she first started school it was a daily thing. As we dealt with her issues the frequency was less and less. Last yr was only a few times and this yr none at all untill today. I know its the illness but its just so heartbreaking to watch.
This was the first time she'd been sick for 6 days straight. I'm sure it was frightening for her. She did throw up. Also her eyes got really really blood shot and were burning.
As for Ballet, she was so excited about it. She hasn't asked to take any class before. Just her wanting to go was a big step forward for her. I'd hate for her to miss it but its very likely she won't be up to it tonight. If she doesn't make tonights class I know there is no way she'll go back this session. This is the first time they are offer ballet here so I'm not sure if/when there will be another session. That's the way the cookie crumbles, I guess.
Thanks for your reply. Its nice to have people to talk to who understand.
Samantha
Hi Samantha,
Just wanted to send some hugs. Nathan tends to spiral down too if something goes wrong in his day. We've been lucky this year, because he hasn't really gotten that sick. I think we had only 1 cold. (knock on wood!) But he doesn't like to vomit either...it kinda frightens him.
Sending prayers!
michelle
Hi Samantha,
Sending you and your kiddo hugs. I bet that it probably still is due to being sick. My son recently went through a really bad viral stomach thing. He was the sickest he has been for a long time and it lasted over a week. For about a week before we knew he was sick his behavior at school went really downhill, and we realized only afterwards that it was probably because he was getting sick.
Then it took him another week after he was better to get back into the groove of his routine again. For a few days right after he was sick he was charming, but then that "wore off" and he had behavior troubles for awhile. Mostly he was insecure about his body (after throwing up and having diarhhea) which made him insecure overall and then he acts out.
It took about a month from beginning to end (week before sickness, sickness, then afterwards) for things to get back to normal. Now he sometimes talks about when he was sick and how he didn't like it and it was scary, so it made an impression on him. I bet that is what is going on with your daughter too, but it is so upsetting to see them revert to old behaviors. I try to tell myself it is like typical kids sucking their thumb or using a pacifier when they had not done that for a long time. It's just a level of comfort they revert too, then when the feel better, they can go back to normal.
Hang in there. Sending you prayers and positive thoughts.
Katherine